A mind boggling night....... the birth of a writer....

This is e second time in a week tt while blogging, e com hanged on me. e feeling is simply horrible lah! & e "recover post" function doesnt seem to werk. So i guess tts just too bad ...

OH, and btw, do take time off ur busy schedule to read tis entry coz i tink its a " e da Vinci code"-like entry..….hehe….

And WARNING!!: This is potentially a long entry, some may find it “berjela-jela”…heh…. Should be more than 3000 words I think. Coz in case u didn’t noe, my entry on e Malacca trip was also ard 3000 words like dat. But I feel tt its worth reading so yah…enjoy! And do tag ur comments on e things tt I may mention in this entry of mine.

so like i was saying before e com got hanged.... my mama got a doctor to come tonight(Sunday night). From e things the doctor say, i could gather that the doctor is one smart fella ..... (well... dun wan to go into details abt the doctor to protect e doctors identity and for fear of his family security….haha)....but trust me, the doctor has degrees.... (did go to some FAMOUS university in UK…. Had a stint at a university in China…. A member of some powerful group in Singapore…… )

e reason why i dun wan to mention the doctor's resume and all is to protect the doctor's identity....scared wait e things i mentioned in tis entry will affect the doctor's future... u all noe tt when ppl enter some words on Google! , my blog may end up in their search.... and "funny" things could happen lah....heh... e word “blog” and “bloggers” are very commonly found in e papers nowadays be it for e right or e wrong reasons…. Haha… I m afraid of e possibility of ending up on e wrong side of it. Haha… and when writing this, I’m just wondering if people on e Net can write anything e want? Are they allowed to? Can they do anything as long as its legal? What’s legal and what’s not? What will atrract e media’s attention and what’ll not? How would ppl like myself noe all this rite? I m no knowledgeable guy u noe. SO I wun bother finding answers to e above qns and shall simply continue blogging….

Well some other relatives of mine came too to "try their luck" with tis doctor. I was e first patient and e doctor took a look at my jaw and explained some things which made sense to me. And e doctor'll be prescribing me some supplements and a way to exercise my jaw.... something the doctor will obtain from a physio coz the doctor said this kind of things would be done by a physiotherapist. And i did ask the doctor if operation was nescessary. Well lucky for me, the doctor said no. SO tts it for my consultation lah.....heh.....$20. WEll at least its cheaper than the consultation at Alexandra HOspital lah..... save $80 sia.... those blardy doctors want to cheat people money man!… However, i heard tt the medicine would be ex. Heh.... nvm....we ll see how lah....

So after me was some other "patients" ... relatives of mine ... yah... so i was spending my 8-10+pm out in the living room listening to wat the doctor was saying ….it felt like I was kind of sitting in some chem/medicine lecture.... hearing things like fybroid...dunnoe what sulphate....dunnoe this sulphate....osteo athritis.....dunnoe wat athritis....uric acid.... all tt lah......was rather insightful for me though.... and to digress abit, the doctor did mention that if u blend fruits and vege and simply drink the juice and throwing away the fibres, what u are drinking is in fact natural sugars lah.....heh....all the essential stuffs lies within the fibres.....so eat everything whole.... or try the Jack Lelane power juicer at a price of SG$299.00.... as seen on TV! ....haha! When i saw it on tv, they said 99% of everything is in the juice....very very little fibre is thrown away.

WEll anw, the doctor did say that most doctors out there do "scare" their patients in order to get them to return to their clinics. Doctors do have to earn their keep and pay the rents and their workers and all u know.... cant imagine tt there are doctors(professionals) who’d do this sort of thing. So is e first duty of a doctor to save life? Haha… Well tts something to think abt.

Yah, so by 10 + liddat..... my relatives left ....so the doctor was drinking tea and eating some desserts lah. SO we talked.....there was me and mama and dad and grandma and my 2 bros…well the doctor did most of the talking though…..which to me seems partly amazing..... partly doubtful...

Here’s e fun part of this entry….well tt’s my opinion only though…condemn me if u find it sucky yah?

DISCLAIMER:

[ I may seem to make sweeping statements and all. But e main ideas introduced below are e thing e doctor said and its up to u to see truth in e things mentioned or not. Well I did mention earlier tt e things e doctor said was partly amazing and partly doubtful….And to add on, e doctor shared with us lots of stuffs and I think when e doctor shared with us those stuff, e thought of me writing what e doctor said on a blog definitely didn’t come across his mind. And I would also like to add tt I dun mean to offend ppl out there be it Malays or Chinese or wat… coz some of e things I mentioned may seem bias or racist? Well I must add here tt “I am not good with words”.SO here goes….]

Firstly, the doctor talked about how it is impossible, for Malays of Indonesian extract eg.Javanese, Boyanese (ppl like myself), to get into NUS Faculty of Medicine. The doctor said tt those "Malays" u find inside are "mixed" -- either Indian, Chinese etc. Pure Malays they take a second look but for Javanese and all, ZERO chance of getting in. Weird huh? To think its all about merit. The doctor said tt even though e smartest Malay apply for tt fac, he wun make it into FOM no matter how good his grades are. Well the doctor did mention a Malay who had good grades asking the minister Yacob Ibrahim to help him get into that faculty coz his application was rejected. Heh...well dunnoe how true it is lah....but we have to remember that THIS is SINGAPORE.

Den the doctor talked abt how an influential man named LEE went to some "fortune teller", some WOng fella to see Singapore's future and how tt guy told him to name his son dragon to make Singapore a success (something along this line lah…PS: I am not good with words). Found out from a fren tt e word Loong means dragon. Hmmm.…..Den tis doctor said tt after some time, nthg happened to help Singapore’s economy and tt when he went to see this Wong fella again, the guy told him to build a dragon ard the country….Which is the Haw Par Villa and when tt didnt werk (maybe coz e dragon was so small) Lee created another dragon, this time a bigger one tt runs round e country. And this dragon’s called e MRT. Funny huh? The MRT=that dragon....ard e country. Yah......(I am not sure whether the son part came first or the building the dragon part came first but it doesn’t really affect e story much)

....den the doctor talked about the one dollar coin. How it was created so tt it can be used to buy MRT tickets (u need coins for tt rite) ...... and how theres the ba gua(octagon) on the coin...well i did some googling and could only find this story,...

...

The one-dollar coin came into circulation at the time of the MRT construction on the island (check the date if you don’t believe me). The story goes that the Venerable had advised Lee that MRT tunnelling work would be bad for the feng shui of the island, its prosperity, etc. Firm however on pushing ahead with the project, Lee asked if there was anything that could be done to circumvent the bad feng shui. “Yes", replied the Venerable, “but it may be impossible to implement".

Said Lee to the Venerable - please speak. The Venerable then said that EVERY household on this island must have or must display a ‘pak kwa’ or a symbolic octagonal (8-sided) object. Oh no, there would definitely be racial riots. How could Lee force every household to have a ‘pak kwa’ then at home?

Hehheh… said the wise Lee - I have an idea. I know how to make EVERYBODY like to have as many ‘pak kwas’ as possible and so, our one-dollar coin was born.

(www.lunadust.com/blog/archives/2004_05.html)

The story quite power rite?....

The doctor oso told us to take a look at e one-dollar coin before 1990 and after 1990. U guys go find 2 one dollar coins from the respective "era" and come back to continue reading......

...

...

..(I’m sure no one would actually be taking e 2 one-dollar coin huh)

...well when u do.....see if u can spot any difference. Most likely a NO. But if u take a closer look at the heads part (the thingy wif the state symbol and the lion and the tiger) ... the bottom part there's a "MAJULAH SINGAPURA" right? e one before 1990 is inverted downwards but e ones after 1990 has the "MAJULAH SINGAPURA" part inverted upwards. Heh..... i took a look at the oldest $10 note i hv....(the one wif the bird and all).... there's e same state crest on it.... but the "MAJULAH SINGAPURA" symbol is inverted upwards, not downwards! Which means to sae tt a mistake had been made. And e crest is a VERY SACRED thing which cant be changed as and when u like. So why was the "MAJULAH SINGAPURA" part of the crest on the coin b4 1990 made like :( and not :)? Was a mistake made? If so, didnt the coin like go thru thorough checks of many levels? And there must be someone of high power who must’ve authorised for the coin to be mass produced right? .....hehe... Weird huh? I did some googling but couldnt find any stories to back this up... is it TOP SECRET? Or are ppl up there hoping no one notices tt mistake? Haha....well....i tink i kind of heard this one-dollar story somewhere b4 lah but nothing solid did come out lah.... it was just seen as a weird thing and tts it. SO....is there more to it?

And e doctor told us about e one-dollar note story. e doctor said someone up there noticed something was wrong with e ship on e note. Go and look for e blue one dollar note….go…

Dun worry lah! I’ll wait for you!!…..hees…

If u take a look at e ship, it seems tt e ship is going from e right to e left. And if u look at e sails, e wind is blowing from right to left. But look at e flag at e top of e ship! Its not drawn correctly! It should be blown to e left too! Well, it was said tt someone up there noticed this and ordered for e production to be stopped…… so everyone will carry tt ba gua around??? Haha….

Anw.... the doctor mentioned that the state crest (i just found out its called the "coat-of-arms"), and e flag and e police crest and all tt was designed by the man who composed the national anthem. Is it true? COuld anyone volunteer to verify this? Well.... googling didnt turn out conclusive answers. And notice how all the words on the crests are in MALAY.... so its possible tt Zubir Said might have really been e “designer”....coz would a chinese want to put the words in Malay?.... why not keep the words English? Well....its just a theory....Anw, the doctor mentioned tt the red and white was similar to the merah-putih(red-white)/ Sang saka... in other words....the indonesian flag. According to some Mark Sensen(I got this piece of info thru goolgle!), the red represents human blood, standing for the corpreal or concrete, and the white rep. e spritual. Together they are a pair, like the life on earth: day and night; man and wife; creation and individual. Heh....(Zubir SAid came from Indonesia u noe) And the doctor added how the crescent moon is the symbol of Islam and the 5 stars represents Islam's 5 pillar of faith. (Zubir Said's a Muslim u noe) So is this just a theory (or simply a radical thought) put forth by the doctor? Or is there truth behind it? So is e peace, progress, equality thingys there to de-islamacize the state flag? Afterall, the flag and all was adopted in 1959...Zubir Said was no longer around.....? Remember Gladiator?The king made Russel Crowe king before the king died.... but no one did noe abt it? Yah....and things took a different path.... haha.... could the same idea be applied here?

[Notice all e question marks I have. I am doubtful. Not certain. So this is just something for u to read and perhaps think abt? Do research?]

Den the doctor talked about Malays. How Malays are like grains of rice-- u could gather them all easily. But u can disperse them easily too. Try getting a fist full of grain. Its easy to do that. But when u release that grip of urs....the rice will fall all over place. Well its kind of true I guess....and the doctor quoted tt rice metaphor from someone in some high places and tt someone is a very popular man.....heh...

The doctor talked about how Malays are doing rather well now compared to the past and how things are being implemented now to stop this increasing(worrying?) trend. Coz remember, THIS is SINGAPORE.... Malays instead of Chinese being up in high positions? Worrying rite? Chinese being threatened by the emergence of Malays? A possibility?....Again, I must say tt this IS Singapore….

The Ganja(some form of drugs) was a hit among ppl in the 70s....mostly Malays. And technically, one can say that the Ganja "destroyed" the malays. Glue sniffing too -- though shocking, nthg concrete was being done to curb e problem (i think) coz malays are the ones doing it? Racial purity?.... (suddenly i remember SOme German history..) This is just a thought..... WEll anw, the recent craze that hit Singapore is the sisha ... something like smoking and all but dunnoe how it werks lah. WEll.... i dun think Chinese readers of my blog will noe wats tis lah....but just read on and u'll noe why.

... the sisha came from the Arabs and its like smoking sweet smelling fruity stuff boiled in a water and so u suck the vapour thru a pipe and it'll like calm u down and all like aromatherapy liddat I tink....(..PS: I am not good with words)... SO now, Malays are going to those restaurants/bars in Arab Street and all to sisha(can I make this word an action word?) Haha..... Something like dat ....and it is now okay to own a "sisha machine(?)" (PS: Again...i am not good wif words) In the past, the CNB will arrest u if u posses this contraption. Well now its ok. Why? Coz only the Malays noe wat tis is and are again "destroying" themselves? One may say that the sisha is not smoking tobacco.... just inhaling some very sweet smelling fruity flavours like apple and all.... WEll.. the doctor said that if the sisha can like make u feel relaxed and calm, it means tt there is an increase in (a scientific term i dun recall)..... in the brain and this is no good. And e doctor added that ppl dun really noe where the flavors are derived from, whether it is synthetic or natural. If its synthetic, direct inhalation wun be good rite? ...and that there will be some form of addiction too! Well if the owners of sisha bars wants more customers and if they added nicotine or any other addictives into e water, no one could tell the difference rite? Cmon! Tis is the Malays ure talking abt here...(not putting down ppl of my race…well, Malays here refers to all grps of malays which include us javanese lah..) But I feel tt its true! Anw, this sisha thingy is well known mostly amg the Malay community and not so much by the others... and the sudden legalization of selling and owning the contraption..... Is this a repeat of Ganja? Racial purity? Oh btw, the Ganja was banned in the 70s too coz soon, not only Malays but Chinese are using this drug. (See where i'm driving at?) SO when this Sisha craze becomes popular outside the Malay community, i wun be surprised when ppl up there will ban the ownership of such contraption. Heh..…..

Here’s a scenario e doctor painted for us: When ppl see kids smoking e sisha, they’ll think tt its okay coz its only e sisha. But kids being creative and all, would ppl really noe wat they are really smoking? They could be smoking Ganja for all u noe! Well my parents said tt e way e sisha mechanism werks is very similar to e way ppl smoke ganja. Scary thoughts huh? Well, I guess so long only e Malays do it, nothing will be done lah! Just a thought….

[Do google your way to find out more]

Non-alcoholic beer.....Jolly Shandy.... a way to make Malays fall? Coz u noe tt Muslims cant drink alcohol and just wanna add tt someone is my family did drink Jolly Shandy coz she didnt noe it was alcoholic ( Well after the first few sips, she threw it away coz the taste and smell was awful). I dun think it was made clear that Jolly Shandy was alcoholic in the first place.....the innocent looking packaging was there to fool the Malays(?).... coz if the Malays do drink this alcohol.... it would make them further away from their God and thus lead to their own fall...? Hmm..... what if there’s truth behind this? Hehe….

The doctor did talk about the MUIS(a muslim body in Sg).... how the leader wanted to step down but some one high up told him tt no one gave him the permission to step down. (WAH I really wonder if this is true!) Coz of the cemetry issue. The ppl up there supposedly needed his signature to approve the projected 3 tier burial. Something like u bury 3 ppl in one grave. A multi-tiered grave lah. (Everything in singapore has to be multi-storied) Lately, they are destroying those small single storied mosques and building multi story ones. And this cost money! Well....guess what? The contractors for the new mosques are Chinese!! Cant they find malays to do the job? ARe all Malays that lousy? THe mosques in Malaysia were built by MAlays(I think) ....... so why cant Malays do the job here???? Or is there politics involved? Heh....... see how dumb Malays can get? Giving jobs to chinese instead of their own people. See how dumb Malays are allowing their still-solid mosque to be demolished? And guess where they get e funds to build e mosque? Thru donations made mostly by MALAYS LAH ....seriously..... can we Malays really sae we aren’t tt dumb? I guess e Chinese contractors would be laughing behind our backs…… designing and building our place of worship…

[Well again I cant verify e truth of this. Do go find out whether e Chinese really are e contractors. Well I am writing assuming tt there’s truth in all this lah… and like I said, I do doubt e things e doctor said]

And the doctor told us how chickens arent actually being slaughtered properly. Coz u all noe tt Muslims must eat halal meat..... and tt the chicken has to be slaughtered in a particular way and all -- with prayers and stuff like dat.... so the doctor was saying tt if there s only one malay man slaughtering 2000 chicken by tommorow morning..... is it possible to slaughter properly throughout? ...well... the doctor said that someone told him that theres a chinese man who would kill the chicken by poking its neck with some sharp pointed thingy and tt makes the killing faster? And the muslim fella just sit back and watch? Haha... life in the 21st century...... full of challenges..... the end of the world is near i guess...... And also there’s this Muslim called TM Fouzy (I tink) who told all muslims tt all e other chickens are not halal and tt only his chickens are halal and told e muslims to buy chicken from him. (This is wat e doctor told us lah) But e question mark lies in whether this TM Fouzy can actually supply halal chickens for e whole Muslim population. He wants to attract more customers but does he really have tt many chicken? Anw, heard other stuffs abt this TM Fouzy which I find rather ridiculous….. heh…and can u see how dumb Malays can get?

And e doctor also mentioned how come Old Chang Kee was given the Halal status after so many years in business and after so many rejections? ..... hmm.... as u all noe most Malays are HAPPY tt now they can eat at OCK (though even when its not halal, Malays do eat it still). Yah, so is it a case of racial purity again??? The fall of the Malays?? The rise of the Chinese?? Wats the ingredients behind OCK delicious stuffs? WOuld anyone like ask? Would anyone care? Only me i guess.... but hey, not in a million years would I go eat at OCK.... call me radical....call me extremist....but y shuld i go there when my Grandma and my mama makes the most delicious epok epok in the world!?? (Am digressing i noe...hees).

[oh btw, after spending almost my entire night writing e above stuffs, I decided to get some hours of sleep while I still can…. And continued some 11 in e morning.]

Hmm….. so, can u see how dumb Malays can get? Just because e MUIS gave e halal status, everyone began rushing to queue for OCK stuffs. Without due thoughts and all. When one thinks carefully, e zillions of applications by businesses for e halal status. And e number of personnel MUIS has to oversee all this things and e long stringent guidelines tt e applicants must meet to get e halal status. Can there even be a possibility tt corruption is involved? People with money do get what they want and there’s lots of mosque being rebuilt and e MUIS need money and all… IS there any chance tt e MUIS will go to every outlet to see if e ppl there observe e guidelines like no pork in e kitchen and all? Yes Chinese cooks can cook halal food but they do it non-halal foods. And do MUIS noe what actually goes into e food? e doctor mentioned tt e doctor went to a seafood restaurant and e doctor’s Chinese friend happened to be e cook there. e doctor asked his fren if its halal and he said yes. e doctor asked wat makes his soup special and to e doctor’s horror, e “juice” obtained when u boil pigs’ bones….coz e gelatin released is delicious?…. weird….. scary…. So when ppl see halal on sign boards, does it nescessarily means its halal? Would anyone care to ask? Would anyone really bother? Well a similar incident happened during e AJ Soc Malacca trip and we were at this Chinese restaurant and e fella there said its halal and I found out tt rice wine is used to cook e dishes. Well, can there be more to it than rice wine??? Heh… but dumb malays like me on tt trip didn’t open his big mouth to ask. It was only when some Chinese on e trip “enlightened” us…. Haha… See how dumb Malays can get? Regarding e MUIS and e halal status, will they actually admit it? Will anyone ever find out e truth? Well no one will actually noe e truth I guess.

e doctor mentioned Banquet and e doctor mentioned tt e chickens tt were bought, only e top few are halal…. e ones hidden below are not. Dunnoe how true this is? But theres a possibility it might be true. Coz u see e owners of Banquets are Chinese and Chinese always want to make profit. And halal chickens,in case u dun noe, are more expensive than non-halal chicken…. So what do they care abt integrity? As long as Malays come and fill up e empty seats can already…. Hah… dumb Malays….. Do take note tt by this I dun mean all Chinese are like tis…. Just some thoughts lah! Racial purity? Instead of Aryan(Hitler’s race), is it possible tt there are ppl who wants to make Singapore a “pure” country??

Again, just a thought….

And there’s also e case of Loong and his Malay teacher. Why of all teachers tt taught him, he picked a Malay and why did this came out in e papers and news? Was it to make Malays see him as a good leader? And dumb Malays are traditionally kind hearted ppl who easily buy wat they see on tv and all. Can all this be propaganda of some sort? e media and all, are they being controlled? Is there really freedom of speech and all? Coz e doctor also mentioned tt normally, when Malay teens abort e baby… it is widely reported. When there’s corruption like during e Haj thingy, every news channel reported on it…. When theres crimes involving Malays, reporters rush to e scene. Not saying tt there aren’t Chinese being reported too. Well wouldn’t it be crazy and obvious if all e reports is abt e Malays? Well e heads of e media company are CHINESE…. And ppl up there are Chinese too. Could politics be involved? I think Malays will eventually see their fall…. End of e world?? Just thoughts though….

Taufik winning Idol. IS THIS UR IDOL MALAYS??? Why most of his fans are Malays…. Taufik’s seen hugging and kissing gurls on stage and all. And I think he’s a muslim….like duh…. So is this UR IDOL?? Sly should have won. I m not being biased or anything but is there a possibility of e votes being rigged. Can Singtel ever declare e votes. Ppl up there have e power to control things. Could this unthinkable thing actually happen in Singapore? Could e ppl up there have said “Give e Malays their Idol and let them go crazy over him? Let Sly lose but it’s okay. We ll help him all e way like send him overseas to make his own CD and all.” Could e ppl up there have stopped Singtel from actually declaring e votes? After all, people up there to have stakes and positions in e telecommunication industry. Who’s their CEO? Find out…. Dumb Malays actually thought Taufik won…. Haha…. not sure abt e truth though but wat is e truth? How true can e truth be?? Heh…. This “idoling” of their own kind, I think, will lead to their own fall. HOW in e blue world could anyone idol another person? Ppl in e past have idols they worship. Ppl during e time of Prophet Ibrahim and all worship idols and look what God did to their civilization…. Haha…. e fall of Malays? Highly possible!!

Nuraliza won e Ms Singapore some years back. An idol e females could look up to? Whats right and whats not in Islam? Do ppl really care? Are ppl really afraid of hell? What is hell? I cant see it so I dun believe it?? Anw, e incident took place ard e same tim e “tudung issue” was widely debated. So wats left of e tudung issue? Doesn’t anyone actually bother anymore? Were people hypnotized by e “amazing” looks of Nuraliza? Haha….. was politics involved to “destroy” e Malays? …. Just some thoughts though….

And by giving us Taufix as our Idol, ppl up there must be hoping tt Malays would be happy to have one of their own “up there” and tt e Malays would not notice tt there’s NO malay among e nominees for presidency. Haha…. a ploy? So will we see any Malays as president in future? Or will Yusof Ishak be e only one. And btw, Yusof Bin Ishak was Arabic. Haha… well or at least tt’s what e doctor told us. Do more research I guess?….. e fall of e Malays? Haha…..

And e doctor mentioned tt e Stanford Raffles statue was somehow replaced and is now different from e one which was at e place before he was moved. e doctor said tt now, e statue is stepping on a letter whereas there’s no letter in e original statue. e letter he said was e treaty signed with e Temenggong at tt time….. haha…. if it is true, what does it signifies? Disrespecting e Malays whom he signed e treaty with? And what does e letter represent? Who put in tt letter? Why did he or she added tt letter? More importantly, is there a letter there in e first place? Haha…. go check it out!

e doctor talked about e NeWater plant…yeah tt shitty drink and how it was used in an attempt to drive Malays out of e country. Coz traditionally, Malays used to be easily disgusted by such things and there could be a possibility of running to Malaysia or elsewhere. And Malays have to perform ablution in before they pray and many got worried if e water is clean enuff and all. All in e hopes of driving e Malays out? Coz there are ppl up there who can speak Malay, knows e Malay culture better than us Malays… read Arabic and all u noe….Haha… so since e “attempt” failed, they might as well open up e desalination plant in Tuas. Haha… possible?? Racial purity?…… haha…Is it more complicated than it seems? Or like I said, some radical thought??

And e doctor said tt books talking abt malays in e past can only be obtained in London and all, places like e Oxford University. Books written by Musyi Abdullah and all….. coz Raffles brought home all this books u noe…. Den there’s something abt how his ship got burnt down but e books managed to reach home….

I think this is about all tt doctor mentioned coz e doctor needs to go home rite? Haha….. well…. It was definitely a mind boggling night. Hehe…..

Karl Marx, e guy from e history textbook…. He’s a communist(Russian or german I forgot). And he’s a writer. Wolfgang Leonhard, another fella in my history textbook. He’s communist. He’s German. He’s a writer.

I am no guy from a history textbook. I am no communist. I am no radical. I am no extremist. But I am a writer. I am a blogger. Can I be as influential as Marx or Wolfgang? Will I be caught for making public my thoughts? Coz ppl like Marx and Wolfgang spent most of their life in jail. Haha!

Is this a trend tt is evolving? Will there be more ppl like me using blogs to share some radical views tt they might have? Will this be a worrying trend? Will actions be taken to curb this trend? So what will e course of action be like to stop this increasing trend?

Haha….well this is a damn long entry. Its has passed 5000 words in case ure wondering. Well, I am not a person with a great mind. e things mentioned above are all what e doctor shared with us. So I m just sharing it with e world. I wun be writing like tis for future entries…. Hah… I dun wan e ISA or e CID to come knocking on my door tonight and confiscate all my computer things. Heh…… post 9/11 ….. ppl see ppl like me in a different light. So should I remove my name from this blog. Should I remove e links I have on this blog? Shuld I start becoming anonymous? CMON LAH! e ppl up there aren’t dumb u noe! Hehe….. so why bother?

Well, before I end my 5+ hours ordeal writing this 5000+ words entry to start my day, I hope no one got offended by e things I said. I hope Malays reading this will understand where I am coming from. I hope ppl out there will really ask themselves e questions I asked myself. Do tag and offer me ur feedback ya?

And one more thing, hope I wun get into deep trouble publishing this entry =P (May God protect me)

Urs trulie,

A budding writer (he still haven ate his breakfast yet and its 2 pm now!!)

(5,526 words)

The horse called Seabiscuit....

Was hopping from channel to channel..... looking out for shows tt i should sit and watch. Coz if there weren't any, i would be heading straight into revision. I knew i should be revising but i knew i had time to spare. Then on Star Movies(the preview channel) i saw what i knew was a movie that was on the big screen some years ago. Seabiscuit was the title. Was glued to my sit almost instantly..... man..

The movie was very touching.....highly inspiring. Seabiscuit was "picked up from the dumps" but went on to make it big. He was little compared to the other race horses.... but he beats every one of those big horses. The owner of Seabiscuit said that when one does not know tt he is little, he can achieve big things. And i feel that when someone little knows that he can achieve big things, man will he achieve those big things.

Effort.....hard work.... Seabiscuit didn't simply make it big. Its not becoz he was born a champion. Its becoz of the constant hard work and training put in by its trainers....and most importantly....its becoz Seabiscuit himself want to make it big. Like what his jockey mentioned,"It's not in the legs. It's in the heart." I always felt that those smart fellas in my class like the China twins.... those scholars in the top classes..... they were born thinkers. I always felt that ppl like them were born geniuses. Man do i now realise that its wrong to be thinking like that. Maybe their parents and teachers were better than mine thus, making them what they are today....... but i think the reason why they are what they are today is the effort and hardwork they put in......them wanting to actually make it big......not just by dreaming big, but by actually making nescessary sacrifices to make that dream come true. I know its hard to make the sacrifices..... i know i'll die not watching tv...i know its mad to even think that i'll be making those sacrifices..... BUT if this was to remain as it is, the big dreams i have will only be a dream--nothing more than castles on clouds.

While watching Seabiscuit, i am able to relate what i saw on tv.....to my life. And it seems so connected.

Seabiscuit tore a ligament and the doctor said it will not be able to race again. Seabiscuit's jockey broke his ankle and was told he could walk but could never ride again. Nevertheless, the movie ended with Seabisuit and his jockey making a very miraculous comeback and ended up winning tt race. Miracles.... maybe. But i believe its hard work....effort....and the power of the heart. My JC life will come to an end within 5 months. It has been a rough ride for me. I "tore a ligament" almost every common tests i sat for. I almost "fell and broke an ankle" when i took my Promos last year. But for the Promos last year, I knew i didn't want to break an ankle so i put lots of effort and heart into it.... and i emerged battered and bruised but i wasn't brought down. I managed to continue and walk on.... i have to admit tt my marks barely pushed me thru to second year. ANd i have to admit that i made use of the last 1-2 weeks before the exams to "cramp it in"..... That being said....i may only have around a week left before the Mids. But i sure have a good 5 months before the big one.

Lets hope that i'll be able to make the hard but nescessary choices throughout this few months.Let's hope that i'll be able to make the nescessary sacrifices no matter how much i hate to have to make that decision.

Like how i've told my brothers.....and now i m telling it to myself, "It's just this 4-5 months only. Give ur best......do your best..... and after the exams, you can do what u want with ur life. Make sure u dont live to regret not having put in that extra effort. Coz when the results are out........i m sure you'll be happy to have made all the sacrifices during that final lap of yours...."

Life is like a roller coster ride...

do read this entry--(coz i feel that this is the lousiest entry i ve ever written)

Life is like a roller coster ride. My past 2 daes have been preety lousy for me. My Wednesdae was on a high. Really! I thought that if i could keep that spirit all the way, my holiday would be a really meaningful one. But sadly, it ended on Wednesday.

i did something i shouldnt have done. I knew God will frown upon it.I knew things would go wrong. And i felt tt God will make things hard for me.And i thought that well..... if things do go wrong... i would still have total control of my life and nothing will like make my life harder for me...nothing...

well....stupid move i guess....man....its God i m tokin abt here..... i knew i shouldnt have messed ard.... hhaa...coz like i said, the past 2 daes had been lousy for me. Well it seems tt God didnt make my life hard at all. WEll tts coz, i slacked alot on thursdae and fridae. Never do werk and all. And i watched LOTS of tv..... played soccer and badminton with my bros.....laze ard doing nthg. Well yesterdae morning(friday morning).... was doing my physics revision when i fell asleep and woke up like at 12 noon lah. Man.... haha.... so in a way, life wasnt made worse for me. It seemed as though i was like in the "super slacked" mode lah. Kind of enjoyable and all but this being a crucial period....theres no time for me to actually slack? Well.....kind of realised tt this was God's way of making me realise my mistakes on wednesdae and tt no one actually has full control of his or her life. Man.... in a way i saw this coming but me wanting to go against a higher power had cost me big time..... well...i learnt my lesson alright. I ll change from now onwards..... or at least i ll try my best. Must also try cover lost grounds sia.... coz this 2 daes i was supposed to be doing A LOT!! Must really focus too.... haiz....make or break...

well...... no mood to blog actually. Lacked the enthusiasm i alwaes had when writing a blog. Guess wat.....i FORGOT to blog yesterdae lah...... haiz.... its just this 2 days lah. Mann..... i guess the days ahead will be a better one.

And guess wat oso.....i did blog on thurdae nite.........and tt entry got deleted before i could publish it coz the com simply hanged. Man!!! haiz..... well.... i wanted to tell the world i learnt how to cook rice and how the first rice i cooked simply seem soo fragrant and white and white... yah..... but now tt mood simply vanishes ......i cant seem to write anything "HAPPY" tonite........i just cant......

well....... i simply aint feeling happy rite now bcoz of this 2 days......haiz.... i guess i should noe better.

and ppl...... i must admit tt this is the lousiest entry i ve ever written and trust me tt i did NOT write it wif enthusiasm....... which is why it feels different. Man.....AIYAH ! I GUESS wat i ve been wanting to sae is that this 2 daes REALLY SUCK LAH!!!! -sigh-i better end it quick and hope tmr will be a brighter day for me.

=)

Checked the mailbox today......

Yea i got some news i wanna share wif the world but tt has to wait for a while...

Woke up tis morning with a locked left jaw....for the first time since 3 years ago, the left jaw cannot be unlocked with ease. Man....it lasted for like abt 15 minutes lah. My mouth could barely open by a centimetre....but i was like not tt scared lah coz nthg much could happen anyway. If it doesnt open by tmr or so.....then tt calls for panic...but lucky for me, it was just a false alarm.

ANd after i took my morning shower, i started to sneeze and sneeze and sneeze and....i knew i caught a cold. Bummer..... man... my nose was running all over the place....heh! ANd the dustbin in ma room is now loaded with tissues filled with moist disgusting stuff...haha.....yea gross....man..... and to think only children get this sick.... it lasted practically the whole day lah.....

And i finally sold off the whole box of Straits Times i had been keeping or quite some time now. I ve read thru every single one of them.....except for the Classifieds and Life section...... and had cut as many useful articles tt i could find....so yea.... anw....when i heard the karang guni man calling....i looked at him first.....well he seems like a nice fella lah....so i called him ... and when he came....he took everything and weight everything and gave me $2.00!!! Woohooo......hey $2 is quite a lot u noe.... the first time i sold the same amt of ST, i got $2 too.....frm another fella(dunnoe if its the same guy or not)...... but the next time i sold almost the same amt of papers....i got 30 cents....ONLY!!!! Man.....but tt 30cents karang guni man wasnt nice looking lah and he looked like the kind hu would cheat u of ur money....heh......so cant blame him lah.. Man....today's karang guni man was so kind tt he actually passed the $2 note to me using both his hands lah! Wooo.....RESPECT!!

And frm 10am onwards.....did electrochem....man....i read carefully every single line on every single page and jot down impt points frm each pg on a drawing block and scribbled qns tt i had.... finally....i understooded everything by 5o clock.....and was rather happie with it lah. And to think i actually wanted to put aside Electrochem simply because i dun understand wat i had been reading for the first 2-3 pages......heh....but lucky yesterdae Hock showed me the ropes and taught me some points which made electrochem seem a biiiiiiiit clearer....so yea....understooded all 32 pages alright....am waiting for the right time to bug people with questions. Am writing a mindmap for electrochem at the moment....

....and speaking of mindmaps, I LOST MY BLACK PEN!!! WAh....so sien lah. The black fine tip Pilot Super Gel pen is missing lah! Hav been using tt pen to squeeze lots of info onto a sheet of paper sia......tt has been my "mindmap pen" and now its missing.....erm....

...while writing the above para....i was in fact retracing my morning and all and i realised i had a file on the study table.....and guess what....i opened it and the pen's inside!!!.....power lah..... see....blogging can help u find missing items....

hmmm....11 days to the mids.....should have enuff time to cramp everything into my brain.

Yaz just invited me to follow him go orchard with him tmr.....well todae is tmr... Its really really sweet of him to ask me along and all but i really really really can't. I really need the time to like catch up with werk and all......but.....sheeesh....bummer.....i'd love to have gone.....get some fresh air....have a change in surrounding....its sickening looking at the baby blue walls which surround me while i revise....(relearn).....

well it may seem normal for u guys to get invites to go out and all.... but its like hitting a jackpot for me lah...... heh....i think its the first time anyone has ever like..."eh ali, tmr wanna follow me to orchard"...haha...... man..... to think i actually rejected my first date....heh..... well yaz.... thx for the invite....sowie for the decline....

anw, even if i had given u a yes.....u still noe tt my mum has the final say dunch u??...

anw, the school term starting soon and its abt time i get myself a new shoe! Fast! Was thinking of queensway..... maybe next wk?? When most my werk shuld be 80% done?? haha..... am thinking of gettin something cheap....simple..... heh... i think going to Bata and getting a $20 BM2000 would be sthg i should consider.

kk.....i think tts abt all i hv to sae....so now's the news....

opened the mail box today and saw a letter for me among the many letters tt were inside. It was from the RSAF. Power lah....i smiled.... knowing tt 90% will be a rejection of my application to become a pilot and 10% will take me to the next step of becoming a pilot. WEll...... i ran back home and sat down and tore the side of the envelope and pulled out this letter informing me tt i have passed the computerised test and tt i ll hear from them soon. WOOOOOOOOOHOOO!!! power lah! So happy man. ALthough the next rd is an interview.....haha.... at least i m one step closer....haha....though its still a long road ahead.... i had faith in myself after tt test. Though i did badly for the Trax portion of the test........ i still kept a small window of hope open....yea....thank god..

so am looking forward till the next letter......i really wanna fly high. And to do that, i must get good grades for my As. And i need to be fit too....meaning i ll try step up my fitness routine....And lastly, i think i really need to overcome my fear of heights..so maybe i ll spend more time in the audi looking down from the balcony( oh so scary) ..... or climb the stairs to the fourteenth floor of my block and look down.....

yea....tis will be my motivation to succeed.

$5000....?

well recently my jaw problem has sort of not become better....heh....felt worser man. Then i forgot to mention in the earlier entry tt when i got home and all just now, my mama told me tt her fren's son also got a jaw problem similar as mine and he'll be going for an operation next month.....and my mum added that they would have to stand by $5000 for the op.

Firstly.....i was intimidated by the word "operation".

Secondly, the moment i heard "$5000"...... heh....some other time perhaps..... with that $5000, it could pay for almost 4 semesters in Poly lah.....if my sis wants to go poly.....but dennagain.....heard from my mum tt she wants to go ITE.....well ite oso not tt bad lah these days.... and dennagain.....theres also my bros....they wun be staying in primary skool forever man... haha....

so i guess till the day i cant open my mouth(or i cant close my mouth)..... there will be no such thing as operation.....hah...i dun wan it to distract me frm the As....

heh....maybe when i go NS tt time....ARmy pay for me lah....hha....kk..

anw....hock teaching me electrochem...power lah......hopefully can learn sthg frm him....

JC Life=No life??........ well i dun think so =p

Jc life=no life.... hmm....not really lah. Its quite fun actually....well...if u had put in tt constant effort right from day 1. Coz if u ppl like me rilek rilek one.....sure say JC life=no life coz towards the last leg of the race, when everyone is like recapping and all.....u ll be relearning lah! Man....come to think of it, aiyah.....its better to leave the past behind lah...

Anw.....am blogging rather early tonite--9pm-- coz i was on the verge of losing control of myself....i m bored with entertaining myself thru reading the chem tys qns out loud.... asking myself questions out loud.... telling myself i m becoming crazier out loud..... those kind of stuff.....

....and i ran out of songs to sing to myself lah.......only me like my own singing ....heh...

tts why i feel tt i better on the com and try to transfer all the energy i have thru bloggging i guess?....well although bloggin in a way is kind of me talking to my own self, well at least i let ONLY my brain and fingers do the talking....(i gave my mouth a break).... and also...theres an audience when i blog heh.....

went out early today to deliver sambal to my aunts place. Well early oso not early lah...abt 10 liddat. I had only woke up 9 30 liddat....and instead of eating, i went to clear up my ionic equilibria....decided to do lots of tys practice....but i was only at the 2nd qn when my mum told me to deliver the sambal she cooked lah. Well there was a gathering at my aunts place and everyones gonna be there..... so..... abandoned my stuff and went there lah....

haiz....stayed there from 11 till 3 coz i cannot really like sit in peace coz i feel the urge to keep on mugging......revising... i aint gonna use the word mugging too often coz dunnoe why, it suddenly seems so negative and vulgar(??)....haha.... revision is a much nicer word to use i guess....

yah....talked to my cuz there who finished his uni and all and he was giving me advices and stuff liddat.... how i should like have an idea of where i want to be so tt at least i can work towards it.(PS: I still have no clue wat i wanna become)...

yah...and he reiterated the point that u simply have to give ur all these few months coz wat u want is grades...and to get good grades....u simply have to give ur all. ANd he told me not to think too much abt what others say....... like when they laugh at ur goals coz they noe based on ur common tests and all, u cant make it....stuff like dat.... coz ultimately, u ur ownself noe what u can achieve and basically....it is HIGHLY possible to achieve it if u put in tt extra effort into these few months.... heh....made me slightly confident and even more determined lah.....

-->Never let others stop u from achieving ur dream. Let them say what they want to say! If u noe u can do it, tts all that really matter.

so yah......oh....i didnt really talked alot at my aunts place. Was this quiet guy blah blah blah......well.... i guess i m still that small little guy who grew up in isolation almost all his life.... smiled here and there but tts abt it..... cant really help but think about school.... seems like i cant really take my mind off school.....well its good to be like this rite now....this being the last lap and all...

....and i noe tt after i succeed...,i noe i will,....... i m goin to be this changed person and do more talking and have more fun and learn how to relax and all and for once stop worrying abt school anymore.... Well, tts b4 i enter the u at least..... things will change once i step into Army coz the ppl there will be like family and all..... and yea.... ill be a different kind of guy by then....heh....but temporarily...... i ll be tt boring guy whom no one likes ....=P

...yeah...i knew blogging will do the trick for me. Feeling all so released and all... MY mind's cleared and focussed and raring to start something else...a new topic.... hmm....some other chem topics....wooohooo!!!!

Life couldnt get any better.Studies couldnt be any funner....i guess its how u look at it and how u accept failures and how u strive to make it work for u tt matters....

no wonder people in the Army wants to go back to skool. I guess this answers the question NIzar has on his blog....=P

DAY 15:Taking things slowly and steadily...

DAY 15: 15 more days to the Mids....
NO choice already.... rather than complain complain complain..... i rather use tt time to do things slowly(but not too slow).....and steadily....

Anw, the mids is "inconsequential" just shows how much i dunnoe lah.....and how much werk and effort i need to put in over the next few months..... and i noe tt these few months is a make-or-break period for me....heh

WOKE UP at 12pm todae....wah record for the june holidays man!! I din sleep late last nite seh....haiz....but i guess i owe myself tt additional sleep tt has been accumulating since day 1 of the hols....

ATE rice with curry for breakfast.....brunch??? yah....den took 2 hrs to clear up integration... not tt strong at it yet though, but it has became a much less scarier monster.... i guess the key to revision is to redo ur tutorials instead of doing tys.... heh.

Den started on Ionic Equilibria....and ended it by 11 just now...wah power lah. Of all the 4 parts in Ionic equilibria...part 2 makes me can't say i finished understooding it lah!! The whole of Part II notes is SO organised...NOT!!! ....and some parts are empty...(my fault for not paying attn at lecture)....ya....but its good progress....

wah today my mum got angry wif me sia. Yesterdae she ask me to water the plants and i said tmr i'll water. THen todae she said water the plants and i said tmr i'll water. ...haha.... my fault i guess....well its almost 7 lah and i wanted to sae at nite then i ll water the plants....maybe i wanted to push my luck....haha....well, it ceertainly backfired.. she said if i dun wan to water then she go water.....den she straight away take the pail of water and go outside water the plant sia.....man....i knew i shouldnt have pushed my luck wif her....

anw, got kindof mad abt it lah....but dennagain.... its my fault yea? Haha....grr....in life, relationships cant be smooth sailing all the time rite? Theres bound to be ups and downs and wats impt is tt we deal wif the downs wisely in order to save the relationship... no point being angry for nothing.....and no point getting angry for any reason watsoever coz it aint gonna do any good to u or the other person...... heh

so ya....if mum's trying to make me LOVE her less......it didnt werk....

hmms.....dindnt on the com the whole day till like at 11 todae seh.. power! I din even got tempted to on the com lah!(kk....got a bit tempted)....but yah....managed to control myself well todae.....

oh....m gonna extend my day(or night?) till abt 2 or 3 lah frm now till several days b4 skool start. Coz i think ill be doing GP during this time. I noe its impossible to do GP during the day coz its much wiser to be doing chem, maths or physics den coz i'll need a long time doing those topics.....so i'll try GP during the still of the night........heh....

and i ll take naps during the day too lah....dun wan to feel exhausted sia....

sigh..... its just a sacrifce i ll have to make for the next five mths(excl june)...147 days.... may seem like a long time...in fact it is a long time....but it ll be over before u noe its over.....

just have to make full use of every single day i have left......
focus focus focus...
i noe wat i m capable of and
i noe my own ability....
i should solely focus on my own self
and not worry abt others...
coz i noe tt others are too good for me to kp up wif

man....wonder when'll all this will be over?

my sunday....

Was reading nizars blog when i realised he quoted the no. of daes we hv left to the As and he put my name there oso. DEn somehow, naturally, the fear tt i might have made a mistake came over me and i checked the calendar........and guess what.....theres more than 10 days to be added on lah! HAha...well...i guess ppl need to feel pressurised to rite? Anw, my mistake...

....began my dae early todae. Had to meet frens at Clementi at 945....so me not liking ppl who are not punctual *cough cough*..-kiddin- ..... will not be late myself. And me being tired and all....kind of like slept back after the alarm clock rang....woke up again....and slept back.....lucky not late. And guess wat time i reach? 9 45!!! Well the others were already there lah...

it was like a gathering of some sorts. We were going to Nizam, a mentor of ours lah. Well u see, we malays at aj were being attached to mentors as part of the mendaki mentorship programme. Cheem huh...but ya.... meaning me and a few other fellas were attached to tis guy....as well as another girl..... to make it seem less confusing....basically they are ppl who hv done the As already and are there to like sort of guide/help us thru lah....well nizams an economist and the girl, masnidah...a teacher?....i tink she's still studying at the uni lah.... WEll anw....we went there to just meet up and at the same time bake cookies!!

haha..... well.....all i did was stir the butter with the sugar and the egg.....other than tt i was watching tv...and tokin to his kids.

Yea....nizam had 2 kids.an 8 mth old gurl Illiyina.....and a 4 yr old boy Aaqil. HAaha.... while the others were like in the kitchen.....i was like feeding illiyina her breakfast lah.... wah so cute! So fun!! Then watch tv with Aaqil.....wah this 4 yr old kid tok alot lah. Seems damn smart for a for year old. He watches tennis and noes hus Nadal and Federer.....haha..power lah....but hav to also take note tt his parents are graduates....hehe....

And the two end up liking me....whahaHAa.... power lah......i like kids lah. see how i rather hang out with small ppl rather than wif big ppl....hehe.......i think i ll find jobs related to kids lah....haha....or maybe partner Hock in his food chain business....lol...

WE toked abt exams..... how the As is the hardest and tt once u make it to the U, its much easier.... and Nizam told me how inconsequential the Mids are....and tt the prelims are more impt....and i should like not worry too much abt the Mids....coz theres Prelims and the Alevel...

MAn..... had a great time theere... esp with the kids lah!!.... Theres a point in time while Nizam and his wife went to get lunch...and the others were baking, Illiyina was napping so me and Aaqil was watching tennis. But Aaqil wanted to see wats on channel 1....and the remotes wif me...hee....and i wanted to watch tennis....so i told him, u beat me at scissors, paper stone...we play 3 pts....if he win he get the remote....if i win i get the remote.... the score was 2-0....the kid 2...i 0....so i told him play till 5,....ended up 4-0...so ended up play till 10....he was like 8-2.....lol!... and i kind of cheated....but he won. The next thing tt happened really moved me lah. He took the remote....changed it to channel 1....changed it back to tennis.....and gave the remote to me...

and he said.... "i just want to see whats on channel one".... Man....so sweeet lah!! Coz i tot he was like my bros lah. Once they changed channel, tts it lah....haha....

Man....-touched-.......

DEn reached home at 3. So i did integration....till like 6. DEn i cant believe from 7-8 i slept lah!!! Coz after praying at 7(erms....was kind of late lah...but still can)...i lied down on the floor....for a while...and suddenly i heard my mum calling me lah...she said my cuz wating outside....and i went outside... and looked at the clock....8 o clock...haha....power lah...i tot i slept for 5 mins onli lah..... lucky still got time for the fourth prayer of the day sia...if not die....(kk....not die..but..nvm)..

yah....den did integration again till like 10+. DEn i go online ah coz was like feeling bored and all.... sien u noe sit in ur room do work....i needed to tok to ppl lah....tok abt anything lah........coz sitting in my room....theres even a point when i started thinking out loud and talk to myself lah!!

Yah.......so got ppl to tok to lah... so...at least i wun be mad or anything like tt lah.

Oh, yaz just found out i got a blog.....wahlao..how can he not have known lah.....so he may be reading it now lah....haha....this fella....wahlao...ask me dumb qns lah..kk...not dumb....but yaz, its rumour only lah....COINCIDENCe too...hehe....

kk....tts it...nitez

hock is back....mum....dad.....fathers day??

Yea....hock is back online. Haha...dunnoe why but i seem so glad he's back online.(i m not gay)....maybe becoz its good to noe he's well and alive and still veri much his old self i guess...... the bt tournament did us no good coz it made us see and tok to each other less often.....haha!! I think its just me...... oh well.....

I asked him how much werk he's done and all..... well it seems like he did quite alot even though he said 'its not a lot'......hmph!! He want to trick me into taking my time studying sia....sly....-kiddin-

anw...... ppl hv different styles of studying..... even though a person may hv done alot, its more of quality and not quantity [if ure reading tis hock, i'm not being sarcastic..lol!!]
yah....well anw, i got none.....no quality nor quantity....sadly.....(but i guess no one will buy this lie of mine....hahax!!)

yea yea, wateva. I dunnoe y but i just feel the need to be lame tonite....just too bbored i guess.....

and oh ya.....hock coming back online made me see tt my competitor is still alive and fighting...... which means to say, my will to fight has been revitalised!! Its amazing how someone can do so much for u without him actually doing anything.... THANKS HOCK!!

anw, theres really a problem wif my revision schedule!!! I always wake up late....and i tend to sleep in the afternoon!!!....

well, now tt Hock's ard...things'll change....i bet they will! Never have i felt the confidence i m feeling rite now.......(i m tokin abt this june only)....

....so the first part is for hock.....

this morning.......my mama told me and sis tt there's no breakfast and tt if we want breakfast, i should follow her on the way to the market and tt dad'll drop me at some shop some busstops away to get our breakfast.....hmm....imagine waking up tired and all....... SO i told her nvm....no need eat lah....can fast....can tahan until she gets back.Can get my own food from Sun Plaza......buy bread and kaya.......yah.....

and she like told my dad and dad's like scolding....dunnoe for wat.....(i dun want to eat its my problem wat...... wats there tts he's not happie abt?)..... well anw, was making my way to the bathroom when i see my mama frying fried rice.....and she said "see, ur dad angry already...."......and i was like "no need to cook lah. I dun want to eat my problem lah..... angry for wat??" and went to wake my shower........

den when i finished.....the rice aready cooked.....and mum was getting ready to go..... and i straight away went to eat. HAha!! BOy was i damn hungry lah!! Haha!! Mum just shook her head......i guess "mum knows best"......

yah.....and just now, ard 11 plus....went to the bathroom and mum and dad was in the kitchen fixing some broken pipe at the sink...... on my way back to my room, i stopped by my parents room to watch soccer when my mum walked in. She was like saying my dad was angry and wanted me to fix the pipe.......he wanted to call for me but my mum said no need....hhaa....man tt must've gotten him angry. Mum said that Dad said tt everytime he wants me to do something(btw, he wants me to do everthing)....mum will always spring to my side and protect me.....haha !

when mum told me tt, i just smiled lah.....from ear to ear.....

and i was like....mum's doing all this things make it hard for me to do things she wun like.... u noe, do the things i want.....do the things other kids do.... in other words, its impossible for me to quit being the kid i was when i was 4,5,6,......10.....12...years old tt time. Which is why i didnt think ive changed alot over the years..... no matter how much i want to be like other kids.....its almost impossible....coz i'll always have to be mummy's good boy...... haha....

..man...wat am i doing sia tokin abt my mum.......esp when fathers day ard the corner. Hmm......so ill tok abiiiit abt my dad lah. Recently, there seem to be less tension...more humour...... but i guess things wun change much lah. There's no time for it to change. I just find it too late and all i can do is just do as he commands lah......since tts the only thing tt i can do for him.... haiz...... sadly, i can tok non stop abt mum.....or grandma..... but there's hardly anything i can talk abt, when it comes to my dad....

....well fathers dae on june 19, not that ppl in this house celebrate fathers day and all....... i guess an early "happie fathers dae"???.....(note the doubts i had...)...

life.....theres always the upside and the downside.....

and to my sis,.....remember, sshhhh!!

The drama unfolds.....

well.....shall tok abit abt my dae. Hmm....bad....lost focus. Too tired i guess. Only did Grp2/Grp 7...and tts just understanding only. Man....lots of ground to cover....got distracted by the com this evening and TRading spouses and Smallville...i guess all tt equals to a day gone.

did u guys catch smallville?WAt a great....abit scary episode..... well there seem to be an explosion in one of the plants Luthorcorp has....and it releases a toxin into the air. Yea some ppl got infected...well lots of them actually......wat the toxin does is make ppl suddenly have a very scary nightmare and they'll get a heart attack and they die. ...the ending was happy lah.....but not mine....

after the story ended.....the drama unfolds.....rite here in my own home.....it almost seem like the toxin had affected me lah...

....i turned off the tv. WEnt to my room. I pushed the door open and pressed the aircon remote to switch on the aircon. There was a weird sound coming frm the aircon....like got something stuck inside....then all of a sudden...

....a black creature fell down from the aircon and onto the pillow which was lying rite below the aircon. IT stood still. I stood still(oh btw....i was still at the door). I stared at IT...hoping tt some laser would come out of my eyes and fry the blardy creature. BUt no... nthg happened. Suddenly IT ran to the back of my bed.....it was den when with the heart of a lion, i grabbed a newspaper to crush the blardy creature. Picked the pillow up and the cockroach was gone. Looked ard and it simply wasnt there!

My bed is actually 2 matteresses on top of each othe and on the floor. Yea, theres 2 matteresses coz me and my 2 bros share a room. And secondly, theres no bed(the metal or wood thingy) coz it broke into 2. MY BROs LAH!! Play wrestling!!! and the frame was metal lah!

K, anw, dunnoe why but i carried the top materess and to my utmost HORROR and greatest DISGUST...... there lies the cockroach.i immediately slammed the materess and what else?

ran outside and screamed for my mama.....who on purpose took her time to rescue me lah....i had to scream and scream asking her to come quickly lah......den she asked where is it?

i told her between the two matteress. She lifted it up and i shouted to her, "THERE!!!"

She let go of the materess and scolded me for shocking her. ANd i scolded her for almost crushing the cockroach in betwn the materess..... den she saw the badminton racket...or a squash racket on the bed and picked it up.....

[i m not sure if its a squash or a badminton racket coz its an old fashion looking racket lah....got buzzing sound whn i hit it with a shuttlecock so it cant b a BT racket.....well anw.....]

mama lifted the bed and brought the creature out of the bed and trapped it using the racket. Lucky i took my old yonex racket out.....coz if i have left it there ....my mum would have used the yonex one instead and there goes a racket....

so with the cockroach trapped....mum simply walked out and told me to get it out. waHlao!! On purpose!! anw,i had the upperhand! so armed with a Shieldtox.... i approached the creature....trapped....its life was at my mercy...i sprayed at it once...i sprayed at it twice and somehow it squeezed thru the strings and ran behind a box.

i too ran...onto my bed.....screaming for mummy again!! She came and pulled the box....and i saw IT! I sprayed and sprayed and skali, it ran over towards my com table.... haha...lucky got my sis......... with such swiftness, she smacked the coackroach using a broom. With the cockroach trapped b/w the broom.....i seized the chance to spray at the blardy insect.....

almost dead......but still fighting.... yeah......sis got a dustpan......and brought the dying insect to the dustbin??.....man....i hope she threw it outside the house!!

Haiz......first, it was sharon who saved me from a lizard....den it was my grandma who saved me from a lizard......and now its my sis and mum who saved me from a cockroach......ergh! Hate creatures!! Funny huh ...the heroes in my life are actually gurls.......

heh......yea....tts the story......

i tink i better sleep early to make up for lost ground tmr......no time to waste already....

ermmm....actually,to be totally honest.....i m scared to sleep!.....scared of more roaches dropping by to pay me a visit..........if only i lived on some fourteen floor yea?(If u accepted my request, theres a chance u would notice tis..) ....but den again....heights.

Ali....ali....... -weird-

Dear sister....

People.....i kind of did something stupid today......coz i added my sister on friendster.. ..yea........she will find out some day....(but i m afraid, she already knew....haha)....coz my sis's always one step ahead everytime...

.... Anw, when/if she accepts my request...shes bound to look at my profile.....and shes BOUNd to see "My Blog 2".....which means....she'll OBVIOUSLY make her way to "strangers are friends you have yet to meet".............and all this simply means.......catastrophie(did i get the spelling rite?)?

anw, here's an open letter to my sis...

Dear dumb sis of mine,(btw, when i said dumb, its not literal!Just a cliche many bros use)
......welcome to my blog...welcome to my life.....the life u have never seen in ur entire 16(or is it 17?) years of ur life..... i noe by the time u are reading this.......i would most likely be behind you doing my work on the comfy chair while u make do with tt hard teak chair....(too bad....big brothers have more say).... But den again.....u may choose to read my blog behind my back.....hmmm....it can mean literally oso seh due to the orientation of the study table and the com table.....

anw, yea......just want to sae, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE dun mention anything i mentioned on this blog to anyone..... DUN try to sabo me and all yea??...... DUN EVEN THINK of blackmailing me!!! ...DUN Tell the 2 twins about it yea!!( they have big mouths....shh)... Please..... (erm...why do i feel tt something bad will happen to me seh??)

yea.... wah, first time i welcome someone to my blog sia......hah.....OEI!! Must ssh ssh!! Dun be like me and tell MAMA wat i wrote on my blog! I noe i shouldnt have told on u.... but BIG BROS like to sabo their little sister.....

Anw, as u can see, i sound weird online rite? I tok loads of crap.....i tok like uve never seen me talk before rite?..... well, tts the magic of blogging......

STUDY hard! Damn hard for ur O LEVELs.......sacrifice this 4-5 mths for a greater good....haha.... easy for me to say.....not tt i m doing any better for my prep for the As.... ya.....u want to go jc rite?? Haiz..... hard lah...... den after jc must go U....den liddat i enter U wif u??!!......and where will the family get the money??!!

haha..... life.. i think u wait till i graduate(if i can pass my As tt is)....and make big money then u can go to U k??.....unfair huh?.....well BIG BROS have the final say....

kk....joking lah!!Yea...Os first.....seriously, Os are easy.....basically there's several things u can do.....

1. STOP STAYING BACK IN SKOOL....tok tok tok tok tok...wif frens
2. Start doing housework w/o being asked to
3. Clean ur room....its really messy...
4. Stop using tt handphone of urs....(if u still have it....i noe u do....haha...)
5. Stop talking on the phone(the house one) too often......
6. Go straight home after skool....
7. STOP going to band see them prac all those stuff....
8. Start learning how to walk more quietly(u noe wat i mean)
9. STOP using the com everyday...(my suggestion, like thrice a week?...and please dun use it wen DAD's at home....coz tts suicide! From ur frenster profile, u dun like ppl commiting suicide rite?.....so dun yea!)
10. still got somemore but i haben tink of yet!

haha.......doesnt see ANY relations between all this and getting good grades??

well....let me put forth my theory....

u doin all those things i mentioned makes MAMA an angry woman. And when MAMA's angry, DAD (dunnoe y oso) .....gets angry...and when dad's angry...dats suicide rite?
Haha..... and when u dun do all those stuffs i mentioned..... mama will get angry and nag and nag and nag....and it makes U an angry woman.....girl i mean. Ya... and an angry girl cannot study well..... see the connection now? So behave urself like u've never behaved before in ur entire lifetime......for this few months yea..... and god willing.... u ll do well for ur Os....i got an 11..... beat me if u can.....tts my dare to u!! ....

oh....and try to encourage(or force) the twins to study too yea? When i tok.... they wun listen....so when two ppl impress upon them the need to study....they'll study.... and oh, i told them to beat my 249...... i told them to get a 260..... so do wat u can to spur them oso ya?

and btw...... u can ask me if u got problems wif ur skool werk..... i dun tink i can do much, but i should be of some help......anw, i got smart frens whom i can ask u noe.....

yea, (i m reaching my conclusion already).......u may have realised tt from top to bottom, it is actually me, the best big brother u ever had...*cough cough* , talking to u.... and it can be said tt this entry is longer than all the short conversations we ever had in the past put together..... Since genetically, it is impossible to talk to one another in the family verbally......... we can always use the keyboard and let the fingers do the talking yea.....

kk....u dun need to start crying already now yea?...loL!

Urs trulie,
With love(*surprise surprise*....u'll never noe how much of it there is!:P),
from the best big brother *cough cough* u ever had....

my Thursdae's report for the world

like i said yesterdae.....todae's split into 3 parts.....chem,maths and physics. Woke up late ....again....8 o clock........ergh! Switched on my com to see which topics i must do todae. So it seems like NMR for chem, TRIGO for maths and CAPACITANCE for physics. So i wrote the topics on the "calender" i drew on a drawing block...and turned off my com.Read and read and read.....finally managed to come out with a mindmap...and understooded it even better then yesterdae..but i overshot chem till 12+ i tink.....had my breakfast at 12....at a small serving of nasi lemak my mum cooked yesterdae.....hehe....didnt quite enjoy it though. Haha....den quickly went to do maths.......

TRIGO............ergh!! So many formulas to memorise....i alwats get irritated with TRIGO lah....so after reading the first few pages.....i almost fell asleep on the chair...so i offed my room lights and told my mama to wake me up at 4.15......BUt knowing tt she WUN wake me up at 4.15....i set the alarm clock.....true enuff... the alarm clock woke me up. Feeling dizzy....tired....hehe......so went to take a bath. Yea.....den after tt back to serious werk. Pages flew by ....and finally, managed to get everything onto a single A4 size paper....haha....and can say i understooded TRIGO too....but i never really did practice sums on the TYS...well atleast i noe now what TRIGOs abt and everything i needed to noe abt trigo can be seen within tt single page of A4 paper...yea....

but the sad thing is, i did TRIGO till 11.30 sia! Heh.....tts how sucky my TRIGO is lah! Ahh!! so sad lah....which means my capacitance.....have to be rescheduled to some other free time slots????...... nah...haha....i did a mindmap for capacitance some time back....but when i relooked at it......it didnt seem tt clear lah....but i guess i ll improve on it. Work will be done much faster.....

just wondering. Everytime i do a summary or a mindmap, i find it no so useful the next time i take a look at it. tt summary or mindmap did seemed to me like the best at tt point in time and i always feel like it can last me forever......but it ALWAYS seem sucky the next time i take a look at it....why ar? WHHYYYY!!

But the mindmaps i m doing rite now.....heh.......they ll be used till the alevels man.... they're the completest mindmaps.....the mother of all my old mindmaps.....yea....

damn sad todae lah. Seems like my left jaw stucking oso.....aiya.....sien. It began with my right jaw lah....some 3years ago.... tt time only right side jaw cannot open up to its maximum. The left side working normally. then i guess the difference in distance when the 2 jaws move down....creates an anticlockwise moment...causing the left jaw to not function tt normally anymore. Argh! damn sad lah. not Angry!! just sad lah..... den this evening ate my dinner.......ard 8 slices of bread??? Haha...ate with beef curry....wah. ...the meat not so big size oso i cannot put it in my mouth and eat normally. There'll be like a *click* sound at the left jaw when i chew the meat with my right.....and vice versa. DEn got one part i almost scared lah coz i tink the meat too big(actually its NORMAL Bite size lah!but den again....my bite size smaller....)....and so the jaw like almost went out of place tt kind of feeling.....but never lah....thank god...

and so i was like....haiz.....life will never be the same again...no more enjoying my mcspicy double coz i ll have to eat the burger sllooowly.... damn saddening lah..... i noe i cant blame anyone for this.....3 years ago, when i woke up, the whole mouth can open 1cm max lah. den slowly slowly open ....but right side stuck....argh.... i cant be angry at god ... which i think i did when i talked to my mum just now...

.... she keeps telling me to fix my own jaw problem by moving it ard and all.....and i m like CANNOT LAH!! U TINK VERY EASY AR!!!..... but the volume not loud lah. Just the tone kind of like anger,frustrated,sad-until-cannot-take-it-but-still-can-tahan-abit ....yeah..... and i told her in the above same tone....."FASTING MONTH SOMEMORE U KNOW!!" .....(i repeat....i didnt raise my voice k....just the tone) and yeps....it happened during the fasting mth 3 yrs ago when i woke up to eat before dawn tt time. Everyone was already outside eating...my cuzs happens to be here at tt time so they were all eatin.... but i was still in my room-- moving my jaw ard...but to no avail. 1cm was the max i think. Both jaws were like stuck. I was damn scared den lah...like want to cry....

den my mum like called for me.....den i went outside and mumbled my mouth cannot open properly. SHe said just try to eat....and guess wat......the spoon-filled rice cannot even fit into my mouth lah! felt like breaking down then and there. I took less rice on the spoon....still, some rice dropped back onto the plate....i tink i like hit the spoon hard on the plate and ate with my hands.....after one two three scoops with my hands.....i feel damn helpless already lah....so just drank tea and dat'll last me till the break of fast some 14 hours later...... and i tink i was damn scared tt morning tt i cried myself to sleep....things went better...till recently lah. Haiz....sien....

If only we had an abundance of money ard here. Den tt $100 just for consultation wun be a big deal. Coz they way money goes ard ard here, it's something like "IMportant not urgent"....."urgent not impt"..... "urgent and impt"......and mine happens to be important but not urgent.... but den again.....i was the one hu told my mum nvm lah....no nd see doctor.... coz she said $100 is ex....den the treatments after tt all still money oso mah.... den the exams at the end of this year oso money mah....... yea yea...i sacrificed for the greater good.....hhaa........

just hope tt things will stay like it is and tt when i get my own money.....i ll go seek treatment..... yeah, just hope its not too late too....heh........tis is life.....

.....there are ppl out there who are in more difficult positions.....so y should i be complaining..... i should count myself lucky....... and god willing........ nthg bad will happen to me or my jaws...

THE END.
(haha........dats my thursdae....)

piano...revised timetable..milk....Two Ali.haha!

Starhub Preview channel's showin Animax. Saw a small part of this cartoon-- little Women..... then got one scene got one guy play the piano...until he cried...and the piano piece quite good lah....so am now, for the moment, listening to piano pieces....haha! Got this one piece i seem to be fond of....... but haven't came across it yet when i googled for mp3s. Anw..... japanese cartoons there so weird......

Anw.....revised my study plan for this mth! Lots of sacrifices i have to make lah. Like try to on the com only after 11 or 12midnight....... when i would most probably did the day's werk. Argh.....can die ....but its for a greater good.....

So my day is now divided into 3. 7-11am .....12-6pm .......and 7-11pm........
so first part of day is chem(i need LOTS of time wif my chem)
....den Maths(yea.....kind of like cannot make it one).........
.....lastly physics..(not sae gd..... aiya....just sae the least worst of all 3)

so my plan is to read up one topic within tt 1 time slot.... tys ...and tts it lah. If things go on smoothly, i can use the WHOLE of the last week of June to brush up things or ask ppl doubts lah.

So far within 2 hrs, i managed to understand charged particles.....no interuptions....com off..... air con on..... understooded it better lah! Yeah........looked thru some examples.....and i guess more tys qns tmr?....am quite tired tonite.....gotta wake up early tmr.....

argh.....i sense a mistake in this plan of mine..... am giving myself breaks in b/w and all but i scared my whole body cannot tahan lah.... haha.....anw, gonna play soccer tmr morning....excercise a bit lah....

oh ya.......i nd to get used to drinking milk coz i can feel the lack of calcium in me..... dunnoe why lah but i feel like vomitting when i smell milk....those white milk and those powdered milk...... haha.......i feel like vomitting wen i smeell cheese oso lah.....-weird-

Oh......did some thinking b4 i slept yesterdae......i was like askin myself if it was stupid of me to tell ppl all my fears...haha....and embarassing moments in my life......and the things i dun like....and stuffs like dat......coz ppl will read u noe....and talk....haa... ..they ll see me in a whole new way and all.......u noe...

...and i was like.......hmmm.......haha.....we'll(me and ali) see how it goes....

hhaaaha......i always have the tendency to say things which make me and Ali sound like 2 different person altogether.......but we're one person yeah.... 2 personalities.....
.....the quiet,shy,reserved loner..... and the talkative blogger....

hahah....yea...

oh to add a bit more......my mouth's so dry today.....been drinking LOTS of water......but my lips are still dry sia........sien.....

OH lastly....

...Read some couple of mths ago ST article.....they say NTU grad earn more than NUS grad....din like read it yet lah....coz i just schemed and cut first lah coz i wanna cleear up all the old papers first b4 reading....(less messy)......but man....are they serious?

yea....tts it......nitez!

Finally.....

Finally...... got My Blog 2 onto "Strangers are friends you have yet to meet".

ANd it didnt really looked decent at first....but after much editing....it looked perfect... met my standards.....yea...ima perfectionist of some sorts....

oh btw, it looked perfect on Mozilla FireFox. Not sure abt IE though. Better check it out. I'll do minor adjustments if theres anything wrong......

I need some sleep.....
And btw, managed to settle the issues between me and god. Can feel the change almost immediately. Better not sidetrack onto the wrong road again.

So i guess.....am more focussed....again....should be even more focussed come tmr.

...... haha.....

MY BLOG 2

Presenting my second blog.....

My Blog 2.....ahhaaha...

NOTICE!!

Please take note that i've moved to isolation87.blogspot.com
I think friendster's blog service not tt good lah. Anw, nice try friendster!

June 07, 2005

frenster's not made for blogging i guess

seriously, who pays to have a blog. I think its dumb lah. Why pay when u can blog for free at places like blogger.com?dunnoe if theres a big diff or not lah coz i can only see the tips of the iceberg onli. BUt i still think its dumb to pay for a blog.

Anw, watched CSI: NY on AXN just now. Gosh! I certainly wish i could subscribe to that Preview channel!! which one OBVIOUSLY cannot....... scv so ex! (they no longer call it scv, do they?)CSI:NY so shiok lah....like crime solving....mystery mystery liddat..... but wen the part got ppl kill each other den got lots of blood i dun see lah.....

tokin abt mystery.....got tis gurl called mystique suddenly msg me(via frenster) saying she's been looking for me.....she knew me..... she found me different from other malay guys back in p school.... but the funny thing is, she din leave her name behind. SO heres a gurl by the name of mystique......and i was like wondering..... who sia?

went to her account and her profile was limited to close frens.She said she knew me since P1 or P3.....and i was like.....hmm.... ok.... i dun recall anyone who followed me frm class to class. For all i noe, only me and some other fellas went from 1G to 2G to 3A7.....and from 3A7 to 4AA.....only one fella went wif me.......and i knew it cant be tt fella since she went to 5AA not 5AB.......

so tt leaves me wif a big question mark lah.

So i looked at how i may be linked to her.......and i saw quite a long list lah......and i gather tt she may have went to st nix.....and den to YJ....

but hey, on the day we got our results......everyone was like everywhere .......i never really had close frens so i din really went ard askin which skool they went to. Its more like i asked the 2 closest buddy of mine, Thaqif and Kin Weng which skool they went to......ahmad ibrahim...... and i was like the only one(amg the 3 of us tt is ) tt went to anderson lah!

And i think i told my mum on the spot to appeal me out from anderson sec and put me into ahmad ibrahim lah. And i was like crying and crying and crying everytime my mum talked abt me going to anderson coz i really didnt want to go to anderson. Coz den i'd be alone......!

(hmm.....maybe tts y i turned out to be a loner huh? Maybe one night, i told myself tt since all my frens went to Ahmad ibrahim.....and if i really really had to go to Anderson.......den ima going to anderson and survive on my own.) Probably..... coz if i can recall correctly.....much time in anderson sec was kind of like primary school....

so how i ended up in anderson? SImple.....my mama called her fren to ask her son to tok to me....haha...coz my mama's fren son was in anderson....so he kind of put in some nice words and dun worrie and all tt lah...... so i ended up not appealing.

anw, i've been digressing.....ALOT....haha.... maybe i shlud rite a biography abt myself someday. Hmmm.... maybe after i retire from my MM role lah.....haha....minister mentor seh.......

so yea. SO this gurl told me hu she was coz i replied askin her hu she was........cindy....hah..... indeed she knew me wen since p1......the split at p3 thingy.....yea....we split at p3......

but i think we were much closer in p1 p2 than in p4 p5 p6........haha.......

so mystery solved.....

and one more thing,

i had a scary dream yesterdae night. A nightmare......

i was taking the lift alone. Man...for ur info....its like a phobia sia...me being alone in a lift. Dunnoe why. I can be alone all my life-- but never put me alone in a lift. Back to the story...

so i was like pressed a button to go up. then the lift went up....and i was feeling the scaredness i normally have wen taking the lift alone. Den suddenly!

The lift slowed down....and started going down.....(kind of like the motion when u spit towards the sky, and ur saliva go uuupp.....and ddowwwn......)....and went below the ground floor to some sort of a basement lah.....(PS: I WAS DAAAAAMN SCARED LAH!!!)

den the lift kind of shook. Then the lift door opened....

and i was like "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGH!!!!NOOOOO!!!"

Guess what i saw?.... i saw nothing lah....... but in my mind........i pictured an old woman there at the door.....she wasnt exactly there lah.....but its just my imagination.(PS: the ali in the dream also had weird imaginations as the ali in real life ok?)

then i woke up. some reason or another, the room was hot lah. the air was still. Yea the aircon went off as i set the timer to turn off at 3am(to save electricity)....but normally it'll stay cold like till morning lah.......

anw, i laid on the bed........eyes closed tightly...... not moving a muscle.....for a couple of minutes. Wahlao.....i was afraid i wun be able to slp back lah.....coz the dream was like so freaked me out. (Coz ive heard from some wise ppl tt when i have dreams abt gh*** .....yea...u noe wat i mean, its either purely a dream..... or a g**** is actually nearby...... could have just passed by or sthg lah........and so iwas like scared stiff....... feeling stuffy, but i dun dare move lah. Wanted to go on the fan which is like 2-3 metres away.....but too scared lah...... but thank god i managed to slp.

hah! Scary........

den this dream reminded me when i was young. I lived on the fifth floor....corner of the block. SO to go downstairs.....i'd take the stairs.....but to gp up.......the lift will be a better choice.....but.... i'd rather not gamble my life away, so i took the stairs. and for dunnoe wat reason..... when i took the lift....alone.....i ll try to walk slow the first few steps the minute the lift open...... then as i walked and walked.......the speed gradually increases and i'd eventually RUN down the corridor along the sixth story and reach home panting......

so i guess tts one of the many sides of me the world have come to noe abt.......

btw, i kind of feel that all the entries in this frenster blog should be in blogger.com ......my first blog....coz i guess the readers there may start to feel a little bored.....so i guess this will be my last entry..(frenster should focus on networking more than creating blogs which ppl must pay for.....so iguess i ll be putting all this entries on blogger.....)

btw, if there are actually people hu do read my blogs...... the original one is at isolation87.blogspot.com ....dun ask why it's purple too!

June 07, 2005 in Crappy short comments/Thoughts

Maker of Super size Me tackles religious bias

Some show in america called 30 Days by the maker of Super size mE..... put people in weird situations.In ST May 19, they said got one episode show a fundamentalist christian leaving his wife and kids for 30 days to live like a muslim and see wats like to be a muslim in america.
I sSO sO want to watch it!!

June 07, 2005 in Television

OK to kill Muslims...

been readin the papers again. 12 to 1 oclock is dedicated to reading.....
ST May 19 2005
"Zarqawi: OK to kill Muslims"....

He said it was legitimate under Islam for the sake of jihad. Blah..bla...blah....He seems to be shouting, "CMON LAH PEOPLE!! MORE CAR BOMBS!!!"

Haha! Dunnoe if abt the legitimacy all tt stuff....i m no cleric u noe.... to lazy to google. But i do have something to say lah....

Heres an open letter to Zarqawi,

Dear Mr Abdul Musab Al-Zarqawi,
U are one famous man. Ur face and name keep appearing on the news. I sure wish i'm like u, only in a slightly different way. I aint wanna be on some CIA Most wanted list u noe. I wanna be on Forbes top 100 richest person. But den again....i dun evn have no money to make the trip up there where all the brave people hang out.

Anw, i just want to sae that car bomb seems like a good way to do the job. And i read abt u defending the killing of innocent muslims and all..... But i dun like it when more muslims than infidels die. I really dun. Neither does any muslims in any part of the world. C mon.... if only 1 out of the 100 people killed during the car bombs is a muslim.....then i wun be so much of a problem. It'l just be between u and him and God..... u can defend all u want then..... but please please please dun kill muslims yea? Try not to shed any muslim blood yea......

Btw, i cant blog in Arab so get one of ur guys to translate this for u ya? All the best in wateva u do in ur life. HEy, the "good guys" are after u.... so take care ya? dun hide in some stupid single-exit bunker burried underground like saddam did ok? Dats really dumb.....

Peace be upon u!

June 07, 2005 in Current Affairs

Some essay ive been werkin on...

here's the highest level of english that i can possibly attain....sucks i noe.... but yea....

Human beings have more to fear from themselves than from the natural world. Do you agree?
By Ali Marzuki (14) 27/04

Human beings have more to fear from themselves more than the natural world. Despite harsh forces of nature like natural disasters, attacks by wild animals and outbreaks of infectious diseases, the dangers posed by Man himself should be feared more. Terrorism, violence and abuse of technology among others give human beings more reasons to fear from themselves than from the natural world.

Within a society, the chances of crimes and violent activities occurring is definitely many times more than the possibility of a natural disaster happening. With the help of science and technology, Man can be warned of possible earthquakes, drought, monsoons and even tsunamis that might occur some time in the near future. Thus, Man can prepare himself for what is predicted to come so as to suffer as little damage as possible. However, the same cannot be said when dealing with crimes or violence. For example, no one could ever predict the series of shootings that happened in the United States. In 1998, a rash of school shootings around the United States has left at least 13 people dead and more than 40 wounded. In addition, in early October 2002, 13 people were shot dead in a series of sniper shootings in Washington, New York. The fact that such unimaginable events do in fact take place somewhere in other parts of the world would make most human beings feel more threatened from their own kind more than from the natural world. Human beings cannot help but fear the possibility of such events happening in their own backyard.

Terrorism is another reason why human beings have more to fear from themselves than from the natural world. The extent of damage and destruction by natural disasters largely depends on one’s geographical location. For example, a country situated near plate boundaries will almost definitely experience a greater risk of earthquake as compared to a country that lies nowhere close to plate boundaries. However, the same cannot be said with regards to terrorism. Terrorism knows no boundaries and terrorist-related activities can happen anywhere at any instant. For example, no one could foresee September 11 2001 happening. Neither could anyone predict the bombings in Bali on 12 October 2002. Such terrorist-linked events took an unknown number of lives. However, one should always keep in mind of the many other acts of terrorism as seen on news broadcast. These events are proof to show that how dangerous the world has become as a result of terrorism. Hence, the unpredictable nature and large-scale destruction of terrorism make it right for human beings to fear from themselves more than the natural world.

Technology in itself can be of serious threat to the safety of human beings. Existence of nuclear plants does have its benefit but one can never guess when or where accidents can happen. For example, on 26 April 1986, a tremendous explosion occurred in a huge nuclear power plant in Chernobyl, Ukraine. A figure of 125,000 deaths was issued by the Ukrainian Ministry of Health, which included all subsequent deaths, natural or otherwise, of those living in the contaminated zone of Ukraine. Such devastating disaster serves as a reminder the level of danger Man poses to his own self. What is even more shocking is that in the world today, there are countries producing nuclear weapons and are prepared to use them when provoked. Such is the level of danger of Man himself. Unlike prevention measures that one can take to protect one’s self from the natural world, no man can escape the wrath of a possible nuclear warfare. Hence, Man has more to fear from himself than from the natural world.

Although the natural world does pose a huge threat to human beings, human beings still have more to fear from themselves. The December 26 2004 tsunami that hit the town of Aceh as well as in places as far as Sri Lanka had claimed many lives. However, this is just one of the few unfortunate phenomenon that Man simply cannot hide from. Nevertheless, although the tsunami had ended, there was an even greater fear that Man had, that of himself. People living in temporary shelters had to suffer abuse. Children were kidnapped and sold to couples that wanted children. There were also those who were kidnapped and sold in the child sex trade. Incidents such as these are being feared more than the natural disaster itself.

In conclusion, although the natural world can have a devastating impact on humans, much of it can be prevented or minimized when necessary measures and safety precautions have been taken. The aid of science and technology as well as geographical locations further reduces the risk and the effect of natural phenomenon. However, nothing can protect the human race from crimes and violence caused by a small group of individuals. Nothing can be done to save us from the threat of nuclear weapons. Neither can anything be done to block out terrorism from our home soil. Indeed, I agree that human beings have more to fear from themselves than from the natural world.

June 06, 2005 in skool

On and off days....

i guess there are on and off days between people.....
......no matter how close u are....there's bound to be an off day.....
.....what really matters is how long that off day of yours is.....
....if its just a one off incident....theres nthg to worrie abt....
....but if it drags on for a wee bit too long a time.....
....u dun need a rocket scientist to tell you somethings wrong....
....and u sure dun nd a plumber to tell u tt tis is something he cannot repair for u.....

(am not sure if the plumber part is amusing....but yea.....just something i m thinking abt...so why not share it wif u guys)

June 06, 2005 in Crappy short comments/Thoughts

AQ

finally done wif the AQ. Dun think its good though.How seh one write a good AQ. All the samples my teacher give not tt clear leh..... aiya..better start marking tt AQ and start wif the essay which is due tmr!!

June 06, 2005 in education

AQ

How the hell does one write a good AQ~!!! so sick of it lah...... brain juices almost used up till the veri last drop.... but i will still persevere......cant gv up now....wasted to much time oready.... life....

June 06, 2005 in education

Sick show

Sick show man. Wateva the title is.... Mars attack? Martian invasion...... aiya...the one got disgusting aliens the one head explode then got come out disgusting looking goo. Eeeyer.... den got one part the alien shake hand wif e president then the alien hand came out and went behind the president and got tis metal thing poke thru the president stomach! WAhlao!! Shuldnt tis kind of scenes be censored??!! Damn sick lah.... show it during 7-9 period some more...Man....i wouldnt want my kids to be exposed to such grusome violence lah.....

haha....maybe its just me i guess....one of the many shows tt i dun quite like....

June 05, 2005 in Film

Just thinking out loud...

....i am one picky fella. my mind werks in a very perculiar wae. Sometimes i accept an idea.... sometimes i reject the same idea totally. Coz sometimes it may seem like a good thing to do.....but sometimes it may not seem like an appropriate thing for me to do. i dunnoe. Sometimes things just doesnt feel rite.

....for now, frenster's for me to link buddies past and present.....so i aint opening up to ppl who wants to noe me..... not just yet i guess..... not any sooner i predict..... some time in the distant future i presume.....

.....am just thinking out loud....

June 05, 2005 in Crappy short comments/Thoughts

one step closer to animal organs in humans

am reading May 24.2005 ST ..... haha...got lots of readings to do coz 2-3 mths nvr read papers.... so must read past 2-3 months papers within tis june.

anw....saw tis article....which is captured in the above title. They(korean scientist) are finding ways to stop monkeys from rejecting pig's organ(livers...kidneys...so on).... Is this sick or is tis sick??One may argue tt tis save lives.....but..... the monkeys must have rejected the pig's organs for a reason.......i just find tis sick.... man....i'll rather die than live in a world where ppl are doing this kind of sick things lah..... lucky the situation now not that bad.....

Got tis April 28 2005 ST article....."Pentagon to offer bunker-busting bombs to Israel".... as some sort of a warning to Iran to halt its nuclear programme.... i'm like what the hell!

So now u see why ppl,like me, dun really like the US and ISrael.... tts why bombs are going off all over the place..... its becoz of silly things like this lah. Wah...israel,US have all tis technology can lah! But when IRan, iraq.... have all tis thingys....they would come knocking on ur door and sae u have WMD lah.....all those crap....

cmon lah! Tts so unfair! U wanna end terrorism..... but tis kind of actions fuel the need for terrorism..... hmph! World peace? DReam on....

June 05, 2005 in Science

Can add more ppl

finally i can add more ppl on frenster. Wat took u guys so long to accept my requests?? hhHaa!!

June 05, 2005 in Crappy short comments/Thoughts

damn bored lah

damn sien(bored) lah! First time write on tis new blog. Dunnoe how things werk and guess wat.... deleted the entry i just wrote lah! Bummer! So here's writing wat i wrote jus now....only shorter...coz i got werk to do.....

i mentioned tt tis is my blog 2....coz there's a blog 1 somewhere on blogspot....haha...and i wun sae the site's add here coz if u try hard and link here link there....god willing u'll meet my blog 1... haha.... decided to hv a "miniblog" @frenster coz i jus so bored now lah...so maybe anyone who visits my profile may hv sthg extra to do like BE A BUSYBODY and take a look at wat i have to sae for the dae.. -joking-

so blog 2 will be for me to write bout sthg really short and crappy or sthg short but not crappy.... either way i ll try write sthg every now and then....yupups!(someone's funny way of saying yups!)... tts it for tonite..haha... i notice the option of category in this window... maybe i try tok abt evrything listed on the category list lah...

yea....peace...
(PS: Happy hunting to those who wants to hunt for my blog. Deer hunting's no longer the IN thing now. The Hunt for My first Blog has begun!...)

..-_-"'.....(i noe...haha)

June 04, 2005 in Crappy short comments/Thoughts

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Hello again blogger.......

Hello again old blog! I dun think ive paid as much attention to u as My Blog 2 now that ive started using friendster......after writing abt 10+ entries there....i dun think frenster's blogging service is any where close to blogger's.

And ppl who do read my blog at isolation87.blogspot.com (which is this blog) may find tt theres nothing much to read here anw. So i guess i ll abandon my blog 2 and dedicate my heart and soul to this dear blog of mine.

BUT......this means that friends, cousins, family...... MY SISTER..... may DEFINITELY chance upon this blog of mine! Which may be catastophic....... but i'm prepared for wat is to come....

ANw, i'lll be copy& pasting all my entries at My Blog 2 to here, isolation87.blogspot.com

so tt there's sthg for ppl to read i guess.

YEah...... c & p in progress......

Something's not right......

Just feel as though everything just doesnt seem right for me lah....EVERYTHING doesnt seem to go right for me lately.

....got tis guilt feeling....not between me and frens or me and my parents or me and anyone lah....... but me and GOd.... coz i ve done things i NOE i SHOULDNT be doing..... and i have NOT done some things i NOE i SHOULD be doing.....man....

my mind is definitely not in peace man..... cant really concentrate.....cant really focus

wen i pray.....my mind goes everywhere lah........ haiz.......when i say my prayers...my mouth goes one way and my mind goes another way..... seems to be unable to get my mind and mouth and heart work in unison like it always could....

....thoughts....thoughts.......and more thoughts..........

.....am like a zombie.......

.....no one can understand wats like within me......

...the feeling is just too surreal.....

...i guess i ve not been the me some 6-7 weeks ago. MAn.....i really ought to wake myself up..... stop doing things i shouldnt be doing....and start bringing myself closer to god.......

Its the foundation problem again......wen the foundation's not right..... everything else will NEVER be right......

and this morning......my dad SUDDENLY complains why shuld he be the one throwing the rubbish outside...when he has been doing that for like 1/2 a year already! When i used to tumpang his van to sec school.....i was the one the bring the garbage outside.... when my bros was in the afternoon session....they would be the one to bring it outside....and now that everyone in the family "works" in the morning shifts..... only ma dad walks in the direction where the rubbush bin is...... coz us 4 kids walks the other direction.... wat abt my mama u ask? she s out of the eqn lah....wahlao....cant expect her to walk quite a distance to throw the rubbish...and cant expect her do everything rite??........ but the thing is....why suddenly complain.... wahlao....early morning make my dear mama not happy.... little things oso he cannot do..... cmon lah... other ppl's dad oso work too wat. They get tired too wat.........

...but den again......maybe its just stress lah. Coz ma dad's getting not too healthy.... going for check-ups..... eating lots of medicine...... maybe he needs to vent his frustration on someone i guess.... this kind of stress father experience hard to say lah..... den my mum oso not say very healthy too lah...... her legs' weakening too like in the past...but not so terok yet lah like the past.....last time i need to hold her tight while walking with her lah.... coz dunnoe y.... she just felt weak lah.... then now cough cough only........

signs of ageing i guess...... man..... i cant help but think of the future lah....God willing, they might see me thru my education years... but my sisters and brothers education? Tough times here..... just a short test i hope...... tts why we at home cannot really take things for granted.......all the good food...sometimes not good food(i m a picky eater)...all the lights we have......the water.....the internet......the phone.... all comes at a price.....

tts y my mama not sae dun like.....but dun quite like the idea of a handphone.....tts y my sis seldom use handphone now...and when she does use it......eh wait....her phone's in my mums hands...... ya.... tts y only my dad has one...... tts y i dun feel like having one..... dun sae dun feel like it ....but...... aiya, u get the picture........

Everything wun seem rite when the foundation is wrong. My foundation is shaky rite now. I need to correct this fault of mine in order to see things with a clearer mind.....

and boy do i need to start a.s.a.p ......... i nd the concentration....confidence.....rite now......

a couple of wks back...when i feel like im the most focussed and determined guy on campus..... everything seems to fall right where it should be.....i thot tt tt was the most ideal scenario tt ever happened to me.....

....but i took things forgranted......i thot things will stay tt way..... my mind began to go astray....and day after day.....i lost touch to everything lah.....

am disappointed. yea. but tis is life.

(well i noe the things i wrote above may not make perfect sense. i m just writing down the things i feel and the things i m thinkin of rite now....just one of those entries where i just need to write and write to loosen myself up...... i wun be surprised if even i wun noe what the heck i m writing abt if i read tis entry tmr.....but i sure noe wat i m writing the very instant the words appear on this screen of mine...... life.... why must it always have to be this way?)

jus feel wrte bloggin....(wats wrte?haha...*like*)

though theres nthg to blog down really, just felt like writing sthg. So here goes....

i din follow my time table todae. Was trying hard understanding a small section of charge particles tis noon wen i started to sway. Haha...gettin tired....my neck was aching coz the wae i wanted to take a nap on the chair was so uncomfie lah. so wanted to take a break. Ended up sleeping till 6.30....power.... den after tt watch tv.... "Andre"..abt a seal... den read here digress there...so now i want to go slp oready... power...

nvm....let ali waste his time just like dat.... he ll start panicking again soon....but i ll make sure he wun wake up at the veri last minute....(again,....i am looking on the bright side of life instead of stressing myself up)

nitez....seems like some ppl went for holidaes already....

Thursdae...fridae(pilot test)

Thursdae was D-day! Hahah...but ended up i woke up late. so couldnt really follow my plan.HAHA.... den end up tt dae do just approx of roots and discrete random V. yups...haha.. nvm lah...dun wan to go too hard on myself like alwaes.... so i m gonna sae... its a start...haha.....(remember, think positive!)...

Fridae....the dae i took the pilot test.... had to do 2 computer tests and a written personality test(187MCQs)..... wah can die seh! Everything went ok till i was supposed to fly the plane tt was on e screen thru squares on the screen. The squares were somewhat skin to a tunnel the plane was suppose to fly thru lah.... frm 1-9.... my grade was 1 lah.... one being the lowest! hhaha.......and for e next 2 tries........i got a 1 too lah. My plane flew everywhere except thru the blardy squares lah! haha....it was den tt i knew i better not fly a plane! lol! A great experience though. Saw qiuteng there..........then got his v ball guy join us. HHahh...Fu kai's the name i tink. Hah....in aj one. He look like Beng sia........ but damn frenly guy lah. NEvr judge a book by its cover!! So happie the test over lah...... den the sovenir they give is a cute little clock fixed onto a metal plane. HAh....damn cute lah....

Wen i wanted to leave the house tt time.....my neighbour passed by lah.... She was going to her skool at SP.... so got fren lah thruout the trip to Redhill MRt.... Hhah...tok abt skool....tok abt sisters taking the Os...tok abt my brothers takin PSLE...tok abt our Primary skool....our teachers...haha.... tt neighbour of mine was my p4 classmate....

Haiz...... have to b really desciplined in following my plan sia. but i can do it one lah.... i'll try my best...

anw,Mum's sick.... coughing badly. She lazy go doctor...... haha...nvm....at home got cough med. So hopefully she feel better tmr. Coz if not, wait like todae...no nice food to eat....haha.....so which means tt we must do most of the housework for the time being lah....haha..... but not a prob.... normal lah......

Am enjoying life at home.....haa....not yet bored.......not now i guess..maybe later....
....Ppl....frens.....loved ones.....study hard k??? Aim to succeed..

~Marzuki

Last dae for me to slack...

WEll.... haben really start to do werk yet...haha....*surprise surprise* .....all tok no action man! So i guess.... todae's my last day to slack. COz from 1100- 1 00, i have created for myself a timetable for my every day of June!! I guess i've limited my self to 2hours of com every night. Haha.... i'll start following my jam-packed routine tmr!!

Todae i tidied up my room......again.....but todae damn clean sia. Haha...in preparation for June's mugging marathon .... Den ALL my worksheets i ARranged them neatly in a file sia. KK.....not a file.....but in a grand total of ELEVEN ring files. Haha..... wah...damn happie tt all my notes are arranged in a damn organised manner lah. :)

Cant wait to follow my plan sia. I need a whole mountain of Descipline to closely follow it lah. So now i need both vitamin C and D. Really big Cs and Ds. Haha....yea... I wanna sae tt i dun tink i can follow my plan lah coz its veri hard lah. BUT but but but but..... tts stupid man!! C mon think positive!

When asked "What's your biggest challenge In life?", Ms Canada aka Ms Universe 2005 said, "The biggest challenge in my life is always trying to think positive. I consider myself the kind of person who sees the world as a glass half-full, instead of half-empty. And even though sometimes it's hard to look at life this way, I always try to maintain the positive side in life."

So the Ali who always has no confidence in himself.....will now try to maintain the positive side in life.

So i guess the time for me to slack is almost over. Tomorrows a new beginning....