this past 2 days...
ive never felt this lonely in my life.
And ive finally been able to see the diff b/w my family now, and the one we used to have. The house seems a lil empty. Quiet.
Hope time heals everything.
Mama's bdae tmr. Hope she'll be more happy than sad.
Life....
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Saturday nite drama?
erms... dunnoe wat to say... I indirectly got mama to confiscate my sis laptop? Coz i wanna use the net at ard 2330 den told my sis to disconnect her modem. Den i waited for my modem to connect but very long still disconnected. Den i asked her again.. mama heard... asked her wat is she still doin wif the com(coz skool already ended, exam over and wat not) Of course my sister, not so intelligently used the loud and rude tone... and there goes her lappie. Got a confession... my modem didnt connect coz the phoneline of the modem wasnt in the socket. My mistake. I took it out and didnt put it back in.
Anyways, mama already told me of her plan to confiscate sis lappie last morning. Coz like ive mention previously, sis been waking up late coz OBVIOUSLY, shes been usin the com till late. Tts wat mama thinks. Tts wat i think. And im sure u all would think the same way too! But but but, i must say that my sis aint so intelligent coz she dun noe how to act or hide wat she did lah. IF and this is a very big IF.... i were to use the com till late, i'd wake up earlier than my mama lah. But my sis... mama woke her up alot of times she still sleepin. SO who's fault is it that her lappie got confiscated? Certainly not mine.... really really hope u guys support me on tis one. haha...
And my sis is like in her room like ALL the time lah... Studyin? yea rite... Like my mama would buy that. ANd she locks her door lah! If i was studyin, ill let the whole world see lah! haha.... Again, not so intelligent of her. Ive told her to at least be outside her room more often lah... watch tv or sit outside do nthg. Better still, help mama wif her work... den at least wun be a target rite? SHe should learn to be like me. Tts the very least she could do wat! Years after years, same old habit. Anws, if dad was still ard, i dare say her lappie would be in pieces by now.
So yea, i bet sis is damn piss wif me rite now. I would be if i had an elder brother like me. haha...
Dramas aside, i think spiderman 2 is a good love story. If only there's someone waiting outside my door... like MJane. I noe tis is totally off the frequency but still...
And i had a great time playing need for speed: Underground 2 on my sis laptop tis afternoon. Thanks ah sis. haha... Till next time.
Anyways, mama already told me of her plan to confiscate sis lappie last morning. Coz like ive mention previously, sis been waking up late coz OBVIOUSLY, shes been usin the com till late. Tts wat mama thinks. Tts wat i think. And im sure u all would think the same way too! But but but, i must say that my sis aint so intelligent coz she dun noe how to act or hide wat she did lah. IF and this is a very big IF.... i were to use the com till late, i'd wake up earlier than my mama lah. But my sis... mama woke her up alot of times she still sleepin. SO who's fault is it that her lappie got confiscated? Certainly not mine.... really really hope u guys support me on tis one. haha...
And my sis is like in her room like ALL the time lah... Studyin? yea rite... Like my mama would buy that. ANd she locks her door lah! If i was studyin, ill let the whole world see lah! haha.... Again, not so intelligent of her. Ive told her to at least be outside her room more often lah... watch tv or sit outside do nthg. Better still, help mama wif her work... den at least wun be a target rite? SHe should learn to be like me. Tts the very least she could do wat! Years after years, same old habit. Anws, if dad was still ard, i dare say her lappie would be in pieces by now.
So yea, i bet sis is damn piss wif me rite now. I would be if i had an elder brother like me. haha...
Dramas aside, i think spiderman 2 is a good love story. If only there's someone waiting outside my door... like MJane. I noe tis is totally off the frequency but still...
And i had a great time playing need for speed: Underground 2 on my sis laptop tis afternoon. Thanks ah sis. haha... Till next time.
the past 3 days
booked in on Thursday. 1400hrs. They did some interview thingy... admin stuffs again... showed us the history of 6 sir... the pledge, mission, vision and what not... So weve got a much clearer idea of the batallion we're in now. Den after tt.... dinner..after dinner go home. hah!
came back in on Friday morning at 0800h. For some pt we were told. All 11 of us cant imagine wat sort of pt we would have to go thru lah... thinkin of worse case scenarios. First we went for a run round the camp to familiarise ourselves wif the place.. den we ran the 2.4 route. 1/3 of the route actually coz one round is 800m. So yea... slow pace... relatively short distance. Tot after that got static exercises lah... "Sadly", it wasnt the case. We had to do more runs.
More runs. More feet movements. Head movement. Mouth movement. and ball control. (ie. streetsoccer at their very own streetsoccer court) Was thinkin of our fellow mates at bedok camp( elite guardsmen-to-be). Heard they second day of tis week only got fastmarch. My fieldpack still haven even pack.
Anws, i AM still afraid of the ball. haha... always lookin away from the ball when the opponent shoots towards goal. But i guess 1yr 3 mths should be enuff time for my men to train me in tis area. lol. Oh ya, first day during interview, the officer told me that this batallion likes to play soccer.
And after soccer, had brunch..(tis was only 0900h). wenta the interact room. interact room is a room for relax purpose one. got aircon, sofa, pillow, blanket, tv, dvd player... some board games. u get the picture. And tis is alpha coy's interact room. Bravo has an x-box inside ithink. If not x-box then a ps2. Coz we saw them play winning 11 e other day. Heard im goin bravo. yea! As i was saying, we had a break till 1230h. So after eating, we watched Alexander and fell asleep. Boring show but good nap. All 11 of us slept. Now i noe why they have blanket. =)
Had lessons after tt. lessons till 1500h after which we were told we could go home. Life at 6 sir has been great so far. While im spending my time at 6 sir, im always thinkin abt life as a guardsman. Coz tts where i dreamt i would go. Fortunately or unfortunately for me, i wasnt "fit" to be a guardsman lah. Unfortunate coz i think im getting fatter. 6+ 2 packs disappearing seh. haha.... Wonder how theyre doin... esp matin..
anws, 6 sir has its down side too. Last i heard we'll be guardin jurong island during hari raya. Coming back home either at night of the first day of hari raya or the next day. And also christmas would be burnt too. But yea... u guys need ppl like us to deter potential threats so tt u all can celebrate happily. So who says it makes more sense to be a policeman than a soldier? haha... I say, "There's a part for everyone...in this land where belong... "
wells... have army half marathon tmr... 12k .... mama's bdae on monday... almost forgot. But like dad, we never really do much on each others bdae except a kiss and a hug. priceless.
till next time....
came back in on Friday morning at 0800h. For some pt we were told. All 11 of us cant imagine wat sort of pt we would have to go thru lah... thinkin of worse case scenarios. First we went for a run round the camp to familiarise ourselves wif the place.. den we ran the 2.4 route. 1/3 of the route actually coz one round is 800m. So yea... slow pace... relatively short distance. Tot after that got static exercises lah... "Sadly", it wasnt the case. We had to do more runs.
More runs. More feet movements. Head movement. Mouth movement. and ball control. (ie. streetsoccer at their very own streetsoccer court) Was thinkin of our fellow mates at bedok camp( elite guardsmen-to-be). Heard they second day of tis week only got fastmarch. My fieldpack still haven even pack.
Anws, i AM still afraid of the ball. haha... always lookin away from the ball when the opponent shoots towards goal. But i guess 1yr 3 mths should be enuff time for my men to train me in tis area. lol. Oh ya, first day during interview, the officer told me that this batallion likes to play soccer.
And after soccer, had brunch..(tis was only 0900h). wenta the interact room. interact room is a room for relax purpose one. got aircon, sofa, pillow, blanket, tv, dvd player... some board games. u get the picture. And tis is alpha coy's interact room. Bravo has an x-box inside ithink. If not x-box then a ps2. Coz we saw them play winning 11 e other day. Heard im goin bravo. yea! As i was saying, we had a break till 1230h. So after eating, we watched Alexander and fell asleep. Boring show but good nap. All 11 of us slept. Now i noe why they have blanket. =)
Had lessons after tt. lessons till 1500h after which we were told we could go home. Life at 6 sir has been great so far. While im spending my time at 6 sir, im always thinkin abt life as a guardsman. Coz tts where i dreamt i would go. Fortunately or unfortunately for me, i wasnt "fit" to be a guardsman lah. Unfortunate coz i think im getting fatter. 6+ 2 packs disappearing seh. haha.... Wonder how theyre doin... esp matin..
anws, 6 sir has its down side too. Last i heard we'll be guardin jurong island during hari raya. Coming back home either at night of the first day of hari raya or the next day. And also christmas would be burnt too. But yea... u guys need ppl like us to deter potential threats so tt u all can celebrate happily. So who says it makes more sense to be a policeman than a soldier? haha... I say, "There's a part for everyone...in this land where belong... "
wells... have army half marathon tmr... 12k .... mama's bdae on monday... almost forgot. But like dad, we never really do much on each others bdae except a kiss and a hug. priceless.
till next time....
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
..random thoughts speeding at 210mph...
3 days slip by with the blink of an eye... more like 826398472 blinks of both eyes. And i have had PLENTY of sleep! Of coz each and every single morning, mama will be like making noises trying to get me and my bros and my sis up for morning prayers. My sis the hardest to wake up.... must be her being online way into the wee hours of the morning... without her even thinkin abt her brother waiting in the next room to use the com. Apparently, whenever she turns her modem on, the modem in my room gets disconnected.
Anws, must be quite tiring for my mama to do that every single day. So i could imagine her doing that every single morning... and missing me when im in camp... and missing dad... lucky she got friends to talk to when my sis and bros go to school. Loneliness to the max. The feeling of losing someone u love after so so so many years is a feeling i wanna feel, without having to lose someone in the first place. Must be a terrible feeling..
I had a dream last night. Army had 60% share of last nights dream... forget about tt. I also dreamt that i was writing a book about me. My life story. And thinking about it, what would my life story be made up of if ive got no life to begin wif? heh... Its been a long long while since i wrote a narrative. I might want to re-explore this long lost world of storytelling...
Heard from friends that those who graduate from civil engineering tend to end up as physics teachers. And i dun wanna be a physics teacher!! Having to go to school and stuffs like tt... dealing with kids who think they are no longer kids.. that theyre young adults... its a tough job esp in todays society.
Of course there are some friends who just adviced me to do my best and eventually be spotted by some talent scout from some big big companies. yea... the ideal picture. But sometimes i just cant help but feel negative...
Heard tt some ppl are having the feeling that they might be in the wrong course. Is civil engineering really what i want..? I mean after knowing tt most would probably end up as physics teachers? ....
...anws, it's probably just a myth...
Anws, must be quite tiring for my mama to do that every single day. So i could imagine her doing that every single morning... and missing me when im in camp... and missing dad... lucky she got friends to talk to when my sis and bros go to school. Loneliness to the max. The feeling of losing someone u love after so so so many years is a feeling i wanna feel, without having to lose someone in the first place. Must be a terrible feeling..
I had a dream last night. Army had 60% share of last nights dream... forget about tt. I also dreamt that i was writing a book about me. My life story. And thinking about it, what would my life story be made up of if ive got no life to begin wif? heh... Its been a long long while since i wrote a narrative. I might want to re-explore this long lost world of storytelling...
Heard from friends that those who graduate from civil engineering tend to end up as physics teachers. And i dun wanna be a physics teacher!! Having to go to school and stuffs like tt... dealing with kids who think they are no longer kids.. that theyre young adults... its a tough job esp in todays society.
Of course there are some friends who just adviced me to do my best and eventually be spotted by some talent scout from some big big companies. yea... the ideal picture. But sometimes i just cant help but feel negative...
Heard tt some ppl are having the feeling that they might be in the wrong course. Is civil engineering really what i want..? I mean after knowing tt most would probably end up as physics teachers? ....
...anws, it's probably just a myth...
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Friday, August 18, 2006
a new kindof life
.... life as a sergeant. I wonder what kind of life would that be. Lucky me im not in a tough unit. Just got posted to a unit dealing with installation protection duties. Changi airport, Jurong island... But none of whom im close to got posted to 6 SIR. Guess ive gotta make new friends..
Last day today. Last night yesterday. It was quite emotional. Haha... havin to leave everyone and all, esp more so for the special selected few tt got posted to 3 & 6 SIR and 1 guards. Wish them all e best in whichever unit they got posted to. Dun think too much abt the posting. Come monday, just give ur all.
The parade went well i guess. Was glad its over considering tt we rehearsed every single day since last book in. Took some pics too. Shall post it up once i get them from my sister and cousin.
Tis entry seems to be only a mere recall of whats happened. Lacked the depth. Coz im not in e mood .... been feelin a lil weird lately... Im missing a piece of a jigsaw puzzle...
Last day today. Last night yesterday. It was quite emotional. Haha... havin to leave everyone and all, esp more so for the special selected few tt got posted to 3 & 6 SIR and 1 guards. Wish them all e best in whichever unit they got posted to. Dun think too much abt the posting. Come monday, just give ur all.
The parade went well i guess. Was glad its over considering tt we rehearsed every single day since last book in. Took some pics too. Shall post it up once i get them from my sister and cousin.
Tis entry seems to be only a mere recall of whats happened. Lacked the depth. Coz im not in e mood .... been feelin a lil weird lately... Im missing a piece of a jigsaw puzzle...
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Looking Back, looking forward .....
3 weeks in taiwan yet the pen and paper never left my hands. i wrote down what i would call "a time journal" where i would write sthg in this format:
***********
300706
1433h : Just woke up. My resting time. My turn to be on one third alert from 1500-1600h.
1636h : Haha...just woke up again. Dreamt that i was awake... Heard the news from Betrand who heard from Calvin who heard from Sgt Alvin tt an unnamed, as of now, typhoonis forming somewhere over the pacific and is heading for taiwan. Said itll be comin in 3 days time. Hope theyre right. Oh im beginning to miss home. Like really miss home. Cant get home off my mind =)
050806
1024h: Lying down under my tree- in silence. Well at least im the only only silent.Ppl adjacent to me just cant keep their mouth shut. talkin like nobody's business.We're in a harbour position for goodness sake. But i realise tt theyre always in a group of 4 or 3 or 2 but im always in a grp of 1. Typical me. And whenever i see myself in this situation, i always see myself as a loner or an anti social guy. Am i thinkin too negatively? Think i should try to learn how to see things positively like say im alone rite now coz i wanna slack under my tree and not do more. Or maybe coz now's not the best time to talk and ill mix ard some other day.Yea i guess tt's more like it.
One more issue. I seem to be in the sarcastic mode yet again. Always disturbing B and K.Just these 2 fellas. Feelin bad abt it though. I didnt like being made fun of or bein made a fool off in the past. Thinkin....thinkin...thinkin.... I think i shall stop. ....
100806
0701h: 1stly, a very long distance Happie bdae wish to my fren=) Slept without bathing ytd. Was watching tv when i fell asleep. Shagged. Wenta Ximenting ytd nite and it was damn cool. lotsa shops and e place is like Orchard rd. Maybe i found the place v cool coz i seldom (maybe never) been to orchard rd at night. ....
110806
1810h: On e bus. Heading for airport. Other sections took photos except for my section. Haha... disunity. Well i havta admit it's never been this apparent. Well itll be over soon.. the course. If its not meant to be, then why even bother? .... Just looking forward, thinkin abt the future, id really would love to travel the world. Haha... think ive found my ultimate fantasy.
********
Well, writing's my way of bringing myself into a world of my own away from the pressure and stress of the real world. During e 8 days ex warrior, there was this time when i wondered what i was doing suffering in the mountains under heavy rain. If only i was in scdf or better still, the police. Mental torture. But of coz i look at the bright side of things like looking forward to r&r. And goin home. And that this torture will end one day... tt ive only gotta be patient........ And look where i am now? at home... safe and sound. No abrasion no heat rash no cramps no blisters. Just gotta be mentally strong. There has to be an end to every thing.
Shopping was the most fun! (oops... de javu) Shopped like ive never shopped b4. Bought shoes and pants and shirts and t shirts and more shirts and a watch and wallets... but most are mine. Did buy home little things here and there but i simply felt tt i needed to be rewarded. haha... get more colors into my cupboard.
We were only allowed free time after organised tours in the day. Most of the tours that were conducted in e day are trips to amusement parks. WEnta 3 or 4 theme parks in all... and yea, no scary rides for me. There was tis 2 parks where i only took 2 rides! haaha.. im a sucker when it comes to rides.
So 3 weeks taiwan has come to an end. Bookin in tonight at 2200. Yea, life has to go on. Graduatin tis coming friday. 3 stripes. 0900h-1100h. But ITS ON A WEEKDAY! so tt means my bros and sis are out leavin my mama who's gotta find someone to send her there or if not shell havta take the cab which i doubt she would. Maybe she would. But she did tell me lets just hope the lawyer doesnt make an appointment with her on friday. Ttll mean i might have to paste my own stripes.
OH one more thing. Sthg funny happened. My house utilities bill. Used to be 300+. then last month, when dad was in hospital and all tt, 240++. And now, its $43!! haha... Electricity consumption for the month was minus sthg sthg kWh. Haha... the meter man said he would bring tis up to see if our meter is faulty. Coz if it's not faulty, i think my late dad is doin wat he can to ease mama's burden. We'll see when the report comes.
Can anyone see what's missing in this entry? I guess not coz there's nthg to see. Pictures. Wasted. if only i had a camera. But i do have some pics here and there on other ppl's cam. But nthg beats havin ur own cam. Could hav taken zillions of pics while i was walking .....walking..... walking.... ard taipei on my own during my last day there. siens.
Lookin forward, i see myself doing a massive cleanin of my room, preparin tonight's booking in stuffs and finding a way to fill tis newfound small empty space in this place called life.
Till next time.
***********
300706
1433h : Just woke up. My resting time. My turn to be on one third alert from 1500-1600h.
1636h : Haha...just woke up again. Dreamt that i was awake... Heard the news from Betrand who heard from Calvin who heard from Sgt Alvin tt an unnamed, as of now, typhoonis forming somewhere over the pacific and is heading for taiwan. Said itll be comin in 3 days time. Hope theyre right. Oh im beginning to miss home. Like really miss home. Cant get home off my mind =)
050806
1024h: Lying down under my tree- in silence. Well at least im the only only silent.Ppl adjacent to me just cant keep their mouth shut. talkin like nobody's business.We're in a harbour position for goodness sake. But i realise tt theyre always in a group of 4 or 3 or 2 but im always in a grp of 1. Typical me. And whenever i see myself in this situation, i always see myself as a loner or an anti social guy. Am i thinkin too negatively? Think i should try to learn how to see things positively like say im alone rite now coz i wanna slack under my tree and not do more. Or maybe coz now's not the best time to talk and ill mix ard some other day.Yea i guess tt's more like it.
One more issue. I seem to be in the sarcastic mode yet again. Always disturbing B and K.Just these 2 fellas. Feelin bad abt it though. I didnt like being made fun of or bein made a fool off in the past. Thinkin....thinkin...thinkin.... I think i shall stop. ....
100806
0701h: 1stly, a very long distance Happie bdae wish to my fren=) Slept without bathing ytd. Was watching tv when i fell asleep. Shagged. Wenta Ximenting ytd nite and it was damn cool. lotsa shops and e place is like Orchard rd. Maybe i found the place v cool coz i seldom (maybe never) been to orchard rd at night. ....
110806
1810h: On e bus. Heading for airport. Other sections took photos except for my section. Haha... disunity. Well i havta admit it's never been this apparent. Well itll be over soon.. the course. If its not meant to be, then why even bother? .... Just looking forward, thinkin abt the future, id really would love to travel the world. Haha... think ive found my ultimate fantasy.
********
Well, writing's my way of bringing myself into a world of my own away from the pressure and stress of the real world. During e 8 days ex warrior, there was this time when i wondered what i was doing suffering in the mountains under heavy rain. If only i was in scdf or better still, the police. Mental torture. But of coz i look at the bright side of things like looking forward to r&r. And goin home. And that this torture will end one day... tt ive only gotta be patient........ And look where i am now? at home... safe and sound. No abrasion no heat rash no cramps no blisters. Just gotta be mentally strong. There has to be an end to every thing.
Shopping was the most fun! (oops... de javu) Shopped like ive never shopped b4. Bought shoes and pants and shirts and t shirts and more shirts and a watch and wallets... but most are mine. Did buy home little things here and there but i simply felt tt i needed to be rewarded. haha... get more colors into my cupboard.
We were only allowed free time after organised tours in the day. Most of the tours that were conducted in e day are trips to amusement parks. WEnta 3 or 4 theme parks in all... and yea, no scary rides for me. There was tis 2 parks where i only took 2 rides! haaha.. im a sucker when it comes to rides.
So 3 weeks taiwan has come to an end. Bookin in tonight at 2200. Yea, life has to go on. Graduatin tis coming friday. 3 stripes. 0900h-1100h. But ITS ON A WEEKDAY! so tt means my bros and sis are out leavin my mama who's gotta find someone to send her there or if not shell havta take the cab which i doubt she would. Maybe she would. But she did tell me lets just hope the lawyer doesnt make an appointment with her on friday. Ttll mean i might have to paste my own stripes.
OH one more thing. Sthg funny happened. My house utilities bill. Used to be 300+. then last month, when dad was in hospital and all tt, 240++. And now, its $43!! haha... Electricity consumption for the month was minus sthg sthg kWh. Haha... the meter man said he would bring tis up to see if our meter is faulty. Coz if it's not faulty, i think my late dad is doin wat he can to ease mama's burden. We'll see when the report comes.
Can anyone see what's missing in this entry? I guess not coz there's nthg to see. Pictures. Wasted. if only i had a camera. But i do have some pics here and there on other ppl's cam. But nthg beats havin ur own cam. Could hav taken zillions of pics while i was walking .....walking..... walking.... ard taipei on my own during my last day there. siens.
Lookin forward, i see myself doing a massive cleanin of my room, preparin tonight's booking in stuffs and finding a way to fill tis newfound small empty space in this place called life.
Till next time.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
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