11 April-13 April happenings...

My sincerest -sowies- for this another long entery!

Had wanted to blog yesterday instead of todae. But something funny happened last night. It was ONLY nine o’clock. I switched on the com, with one thing in mind, to blog. (I needed to blog down lots of things.) Thinking that it’ll take a few minutes to on, I went to my bed and lie down on it. And when I finally opened my eyes, the whole room was dark. The com was off-ed. I looked at the clock—4.45. SHIT! I slept. Not doing any reading for my Physics Spa. Not doing the corrections for my Maths vectors test. Den the Chelsea- Bayern Munich game came to my mind. I missed it coz the game’s already over. Awww man! I must have felt really tired. I guess u dun need to have a CCA to get tired easily. Doing school work’s enough to make u tired!

Anw, lemme continue from where I left of, which is Mondae. I was feeling stress on Sunday night. Really stress. I cannot think of anything to write sia. The essae topic was “Should all form of gambling be abolished?”. I chose to do this topic coz it seemed very easy, especially wen the casino debate is happening right here in our country.(casino=gambling) My immediate stand was obvious – yes! Think of all the social side-effects of gambling…u noe, the bankrupts, suicides, loansharks… But wen it come to the actual writing of the essae outline….. my brain froze sia. I can only think of one reason why gambling should be ban! It’s the same with the casino debate in Singapore. When Singaporeans were asked whther or not they like the idea of having a casino in Singapore…WE said NO NO NO NO NO! Wen asked why…..all the “erms” and the “oohs” and the “aaahs” and the …. “wait ar, lemme think a while” come out. I couldn’t crack my brain that night…. I got so fed up that I just went to sleep. I was ready for morning…ready for the scoldings I may get on the first day of this week.

Mondae: Lucky for me, I didn’t get any scoldings. Mrs Goh didn’t ask for the maths assignment and Ms Tan didn’t come school. But Ms Tan told us to hand in on that day. I needed to get it done before I went home. Went to the com lab to type out this blardy essae.. I typed and deleted….typed and deleted… after 45 minutes in the com lab… I wrote 1 paragraph while Subu, who was sitting beside me was finishing on his. He was gloating(haha..a new word I just learned) about the fact that HE was actually doing better than me! It was quite surprising also lah. I could have typed nonsense and simply hand it in, but I wanted to submit in a quality essay. I got damn stressed out. I said “AAAAAAAAAAAh! I give up!” I switched off the com, shook my head and went to the area outside the bookshop. I had to go for some workshop at the Dance Studio—some counseling werkshop.

Outside the bookshop, I sat…and thought…. and thought…. still no idea whatsoever regarding the essay. I was thinking of doing another question. Then, Nizar came … to borrow my complex number 2. I decided to see if he had any idea regarding the topic. I showed him my rough plan. He said the question seemed easy. He began to read out all my points in a particular manner. He was putting my points and scribbles into a logical structure and said, “ ok what! Wat so difficult?” And then he left. I sat down thinking abt the things he said. But still, I still couldn’t think of how to begin writing. Den Yuying came by… she wanted to see my complex number 1….. she got stuck at another question. She sat for a short while. We talked… I told her about the essae and how I could not do it. How I was feeling damn stress. How I cannot take it anymore. Den I told her that I felt like committing suicide. And guess what was the next thing I said to her? ….. I told her that ironically, the workshop I have to attend, the counseling workshop…. Is for me to learn how to counsel my friends if they are feeling bad and was thinking of committing suicide. Haha! She said good…. Coz den I’ll be able to counsel myself out of committing suicide. Damn stress…

The Counseling workshop: It was quite an enriching workshop. Lemme just jot down some of the things I remember..

1. U need to have listening ears
2. u need to listen for facts and feelings when ur fren is talking
3. there’s an increase in youth suicide
4. more male than female commit suicide ( GP essay could be the no. 1 cause..haha)
5. Listen emphatatically….and this can be expressed through facial expression… show that u understand and feel how ur friend is feeling
6. Listen more than u talk
7. And if ur fren tells u that he or she wants to commit suicide, u should not keep it a secret, even if ur friend tells u not to tell anyone.

Regarding point 7, the instructor asked us, if while counseling ur friend and u eventually find out that ur friend is thinking of suicide and ur friend tells u “ PLEASE…. Don’t tell anyone about this okay?….” and he or she gives u tt sad look, how many of us would really not tell anyone? Only 3 raised up their hand. Me being one of them. My reason being that he or she is my friend, and I wouldn’t want to betray that trust. Yea… we were told to seek help first though. But I will try my best to talk him or her out of it.

After the workshop, did homework at the usual place. Waited for the soccer guys. Remember that I told u that Yong got called back into the team…. He’s out again! (Hey Yong…see….i mentioned u in my blog!!) We were at the MRT station—me, Zhi Kai, Ronaldo, Yong and Boon…. And suddenly, we were talking about my blog. I was surprised that they knew about my blog. Ronaldo said Mark, his friend, who got kicked out some time ago….clicked from link to link and ended up here in my blog. As far as I noe, only 1 person links my blog to hers…. Anw…. Ronaldo said my blog very funny… my writing style very good (…xie xie ni….xie xie ni..) but he said that after every para…got HTML thingy….i was shocked!

I didn’t noe about the HTML thingy. Coz u see, I am currently using Firefox, so I dun see all the HTML language…but wen I found out from Ronaldo abt it…. I checked….using Internet Explorer. Man was my blog messy! Its ugly….

Now, I would like to apologise to everyone for this inconvenience. Its hard to read what I wrote! I guess Internet explorer sux. That’s why I use Firefox now. Anyway, no one told me this before, so I didn’t know. But now that I noe, I guess I ll be editing all my previous entry to make it nice again. I am a perfectionist. Everything has to be perfect. Well not everything perhaps, but some things just have to be perfect.

Anw, my com hanged on me on Mondae. I had to use a spare old harddisk to type out my essae. Long and boring story so I wun touch too long on that. Here’s a quick flashback of Mondae night.

The com spoil. Had to replace harddisk since I needed to type my gp essay. But the old harddisk got no Word. SO had to use wordpad. Damn ma fan sia use Wordpad. So I decided to write out the essay on paper first. I was writing at my study table first. Wanted to lie down so I took a pillow and lie down on the floor face down. Halfway writing the first paragraph, I dozed off. My bros woke me up. I told them I am thinking of a point. Continued writing for a while, and I fell asleep again. My bros woke me up again and asked me to switch off the com. I told them that I needed to do some research for some examples. They eventually went to sleep…. And so did I!(As usual…)

Woke up at ard 3 plus. Wrote some things and went to sleep again. Woke up a few minutes later. Awww man! I needed to get the essae done. So I sat down properly and scribbled everything down. I think I finished the essae just slightly before 5. Den, I went to the com and typed everything as fast as I could. Luckily, I managed to type everything in 45 minutes. My hands were sore and I was sleepy. Went to iron my clothes and got ready for skool.

TUESDAE! The day which I think I yawned a record number of times. Was yawning throughout the day! Sometimes I even got choked by my own yawn. I felt like yawning but the yawn won’t come out. By morning break, got the essay printed out and handed in. As for the maths correction, Mrs Goh asked for it and she told me to hand it in before 5. Man! I tot I would be easy…. coz it’s just vectors, but man was it hard! After PE, while the rest went to plae badminton I tink, as planned, I went to the usual place to TRY and do maths. Got some blanks so at 4.50, I went to the staff room to tell her that I had to hand it in tmr instead of todae. Request granted and I had to den rush and change for my HEATS – the triplejump.

Me, hock and Eugene signed up… they sae want to jump for fun. In the end, the two of them went to plae soccer. Lucky got qiuteng to jump wif me. I went there not knowing wat to do. I’ve seem ppl at Olympics do tis kind of things before…I see like kind of stylo…tts why I wanted to try. When we were given practices…. My legs cannot get used to the rhythm…missed some steps…foul here soul there…. I could barely reach the pit… After several jumps….i felt rather confident lah…. My aim was the sand. To feel sand in my shoes. My first jump, from the 9 metre mark of course, was a foul. Everything was okay except for the landing part. Mr Koh said one leg landing cannot. Wth! No one told me that lor…..grr….den the second try was a 10.19m. Tis was quite ok coz some J1s weren’t even reaching 10m even though they have done triple jump before! Haha! (hey…I am not gloating..hehe..)

Since there’s only 7 of us I think, we went to the finals…..lol…. and for my third try, my aim was to beat my second jump….and I did…I got 10.26m. Halfway in midair, I forgot abt landing on 2 legs….so I landed with 2 legs and my whole body,just to be safe. Haha….Mr Koh said if I hadn’t landed that way, I could have gotten another 1 m or so. Man! And for my fourth try, I got a 10.46m!
Qiuteng got third. He got 11 plus for his last jump….it was our first time jumping for the 2 of us…so it was ok lah. Jumping had never felt so great! Felt like jumping over and over and over again sia. Hhaha…one of my most memorable time in AJ!

Yuying was so nice todae. She asked me what’s my essay topic coz while reading her Times magazine, she wanted to help me look out for articles I could probably use…. man ! But I told her that it was ok coz I finished the essae oready. But man….tt was so nice and thoughtful of her…. Coz I would definitely not have bothered if I was her …haha….. but den again….i learnt something new that I could use another dae….man!….

Wednesdae! Hmm…nothing much todae. Oh ya…..becoz of yesterdae’s jumps … I woke up with my feet and right knee feeling aching. I didn’t think tht jumping was a big deal…no offence to triplejumpers out there ….so I didn’t do warm ups….lucky I didn’t end up as “Limping Boy”….lol…no offence….anw..Physics Spa was great. Den after skool, watched tennis. Boring game sia. Den went to do homework at the usual place. Finished my complex no. 2 and marked my GP essae. The gambling essae. I felt that it was a preety good easse…. So I gave it a 29! Den the dark clouds marched towards our skool….i din want to get stuck in skool….so I rushed home….btw, I think I need to bring a pillow to rest my back….coz sitting on the chair…. For 5 hours straight…man! Back and backside all pain sia… :D

Almost 11.40 now…better do my home work….

Nights!

Brain freeze..

I never felt anything like it b4.... for the first time, i totally lost control of myself. Feeling damn stressed right now..feel like tearing up all the essay outlines i have in front of me..

ARGH!.... i cant tink of how to write this essae of mind. Really,seriously, i brain seems to have frozen. Hock told me to get some composure. But i tink i left in in my locker. Argh! I really want to wave the white fla above my head-- surrender. I cant handle this stress! Just for tonite onli......i hope

I feel like criyin rite now....waaaaaaaaaah!.......i cannot stand this feeling of pain?Anger?Frustration? I need a shoulder to lean on....a shoulder to cry on.....

I really need to take a break... i dun care wat the teacher will sae tmr..........my brain is dead...i give up!

I want my granny!!!!!!.... tokin to her....will cfm make me feel much better. but since she's asleep, maybe thinkin happie tots will help me rileks....

grrr....

Strangers ARE INDEED friends you have yet to meet...

Strangers ARE INDEED friends you have yet to meet……

People who were once strangers, people whom I see everydae but never had the chance to sae hello to, have now become my friends…(i've became their frens)....which ever wae u see it, it doesn't matter-- its the same thing!

However, this does not mean that all strangers are your friend! People whom u meet at bus stops…and they happen to talk to you and ask for your number…may seem like a friend….. and you may want to give him or her ur number…but think thrice (twice is not enuff) … before making a decision….

Den, I want to sae my most sincerest –sowies- to everyone whose feelings I may have hurt by the things that I say. I have to admit that I have poor control of the things that keep pouring out of my mouth. What I think is funny, others sees it as rude. What I feel is the right thing to sae, may end up being hurtful… I did some reflections and will mend my ways starting from now…

A couple of things happened this week.

Lets start wif Mondae…. A very forgettable dae…I had to think really hard to remember Mondae….. all I can remember is that I met up wif Yong to discuss the plans for Thursday recre… and we went home shortly after tt….

Tuesday……. Heard the story that I didn’t believe actually happened…..Anyway, having a relatively complex imagination…… many possible scenarios actually appeared in my head. That night, while walking home, I happen to notice every single Bangladeshi that passed by me….they may seem nice…but you’ll never noe… And I have to admit that watching all those episodes of Crime Watch and Missing made me kind of worried for my friend… Hope nothing will actually happen to you! (PS: I still can’t help but worry..)

Wednesdae…mugged from 3- 7….quite shiok lah… Anw, this dae will live in infamy…haha…

I was walking into the physics classroom. Then my group mate, Lay Hoon, asked me, ‘Ali, are you afraid of lizards?”. In my mind, I was wondering how the heck did she noe this secret of mine? I replied in a manly way, “ Of course not!”. Then, it happened. She said that Yinlu, my classmate saw a lizard around the area my group was sitting in!

I froze and my eyes were on high alert—for any small moving objects. I felt the “yucks+eeew+gross” feeling that ppl wun understand… I put my bag down and looked for that blardy creature. I was looking for that creature wen Lay Hoon exclaimed, “Ali! Got lizard!”….pointing towards my shoes. Having got this gift of agility and good reflexes…I jumped…haha…and ran outside the classroom… I knew Lay Hoon tricked me but I wasn’t taking any risk…(Btw, I jumped coz I didn’t want to hurt the lizard ya..)

Den I began to isolate the 4 tables my groups were using from the other tables in the row… just in case the lizard crawled from one end to my group’s end of the table(PS: I didn’t want the lizard to make the girls in my group distracted from our discussion) …yea… And that’s when I saw the creature…which i think measured up to around SIXTY millimetres long… Haha…. And guess what…. I shouted( to warn others abt the lizard so that they wouldn’t harm it)…haha….and ran outside…to ensure that I wun be of any threat to the creature…the poor creature was scared…haha…anw….. a brave person in my class came to my…ermm….the lizard’s rescue…..carried the lizard and took it outside…she was about to put the lizard on the floor when I shouted at her to throw the creature downstairs (for fear that others wun accidentally step it)…haha….. the brave person was a SHE…Sharon…haha….Sharon was my hero that fateful dae….and for the rest of the tutorial….my legs were off the floor…for fear that the mama lizard is out there some where looking for her son(or daughter)… Being the gentleman(or gentle man) that I am, I didn’t want to hurt the mama too!….

Anw, I guess I am wasting my time writing this story coz thanks to some people who saw the fateful scene…. it seems as though everyone knows about it already! And recently, someone reminded me of a similar incident which happened last year—this time, it involves a slightly bigger creature—a cat! If u’ve never heard this story before, relax… it’ll reach u one of this day….haha

Thusday came…. Had recre soccer… wasn’t exactly great coz it’s hard giving instruction to people. The session got interrupted by lightning and thunder….and by the time we were allowed to use the field…. It was almost late and I had to do the bad thing by telling them to go home and come next week. But I have to sae that my leadership skills needs improvement… one guy told me that I better change my style…haha…. Coz I wasn’t actually a model leader on the field. But it’ll definitely be a good experience for me! This is the beginning of life after “being dropped” from the team.

Btw, not many people are aware that I have been dropped from the team. NO one knew, unless they asked. I know when people seriously do not noe….so if u happen to not noe tis...and u asked a question still thinkin that i'm in the team...dun u worry…. i'm fine wif it...

Friday…is becoming my slack day. Yesterday, I wandered around skool doing nothing. Watched the guys training…see a friend of mine ran and ran and ran the 200m again and again and again…wow…I was amazed that she could do that… I could see that she’s tired…but she still carried on running….haha….that uncle didn’t give her any chance…haha. Saw the wushu people plae wushu…damn stylo sport…and saw people train basketball….and saw people plae squash….saw people plae badminton too…and I saw people singing in the audi…. And den, I went home. I wanted to do my homework todae, but I guess after for daes in a row doin work after skool…I needed an entire afternoon to rest…haha…

Saturday…am taking my time to do homework…still not fully focused…did a quarter of Complex no. 2. ….and decided to spend some time updating myself as well as u guys… the highlights of this week… its 8 rite now and i just found out that Yong has been called back into the team...due to the injuries being inflicted on our team. And 2 J1s just got dropped todae! Am really happie for yong though... Although this makes me only J2 not to get a recall, haha... i hav to sae that i'm ok wif it coz i am not ready for this kind of thing...really... i've learned a lot...but it wasn't everything.... still have a long way to go....AJ SOC....see u at the finals!

And I have to sae again that (some) strangers are INDEED friends you have yet to meet..

the last dae of the worst week of my life...

Todae's sundae. Things are gettin better for me. I found a place where i can still play football. Regarding the training todae, there wasn't coz the Community Centre had an open house. The team had to volunteer involuntarily at the CC. So maybe i ll see how next wk.

Did mostly mths todae. Complex numbers really complex sia. But i did all tt i could. Tried every single qn. So gonna ask questions tmr so tt i could put this tutorial aside and start on the second one.

Oh ya....found out from zhi kai tt he got called up for training(he's the keeper who got dropped)
Was happie for him coz the other 2 keeper aren't tt good either.....so i was telling him to plae his best and fight for his place.. Wish i could sae the same for myself

Was planning for this thursdae recre soccer. i like doing all this kind of admin werk--planning things. Hope things will werk out as planned. As for now...the plan isn't fixed yet. We ll have to meet up with mr Trevor to inform him of our plans....

Watched "turn left,turn right". Movie was damn nice. I wanted to watch it coz this movie came out in the cinema wen i was in sec school. People said the show was nice....the newpaper said it was nice.....the marketting was done brilliantly....

Being a guy who never goes to the cinemas, i only wait for movies to come on tv. Watched the whole show. Felt damn touched by it. If only such things really happen in reality. HOw sweet it would be.

Btw....i was scolded for watchin this chinese movie sia.My mum says that i m becoming too much. Too much in what sense i dunnoe. Maybe she saw a change in me. Well, i m changing....pple can see tt i m changing. Talked to a fren of mine. He said that i "am becoming more cina(Malay for chinese)". Coz i m picking up chinese phrases...watchin chinese movie....listen to chinese songs(TIS IS HOCK"S FAULT!)...
ya....another fren also asked....if i am looking for a chinese girlfriend. Haha...all tis just becoz i watched "turn left, turn right"...

no.....i m not looking for any chinese girlfriend....nor am i interested in chinese guys(SORRIE HOCK!)... haha... i m just adapting to my new environment...an environment surrounded by Chinese....i m just blending in...

Regarding the girl.... hmm.... she ll pass by me....one day...
Coz u see,
"Life is full of surprises; even two parallel lines may one day meet."

My boring saturdae.....

Because of yesterdae's late night blogging.... i woke up at noon todae.
Haha.....bathed and ate lunch... washed all my dirty clothes....clean up my very messy room...did some mths and chem...and watched hindi movie.....on V Central......Bathed at 7....completed my chem...ate dinner...saw the crowning of Ms Singapore...(she not that bad lah)....and then more mths....BORING!

Anw, i am feelin MUCH better now. Coz i m getting bored of crying over spilt milk. What's done is done. I m leaving it in the past where it belongs....instead of carrying it along wif me into the future.

I am going back to my debut club tomorrow......my CC team...to train further.....coz i miss the feel of the ball...hopefully, i'd be part of the tournament team....haha... So Canberra United(lame name...i noe..).....here i come!

Oh ya....the AJ team lost to RJ at RJ 2-0....

hey.....the way i write this entry is boring....coz my saturdae...today.....was a Boring one....

Nitez!

Lately,I wasn't myself...I can't wait for this week to end

-Sigh- How I really wish a tomorrow will be a new week. I can’t wait for this miserable week to end. And I’ll try make this entry a short one…haha

I was sitting by myself yesterdae, watching my ex-teammates do their self-training. I really missed those daes. Anyway, being me, I began to talk to myself…do some reflections… think about the things that has happened in the past few days.

I asked myself…. “Hmm…what interesting thing happened on Monday?”…. I thought hard-trying to remember something that has happened on Mondae. Nothing came to my mind. Impossible! I told myself. There has to be at least something. I closed my eyes and focused. I began from the time I woke up and breezed through the hours, somehow akin to reading a book. The book was ending soon…yet still no significant event. But before I finished reading the book….something suddenly came to my mind.

Oh ya… how can I forget? Avid readers of my blog(if there's any tt is...haha), remember how I always say that I felt the axe coming…how my performance in soccer sux….how I always say that I will be dropped… and how I always say that even if I am dropped, I’ll still be happy as I had really learned a lot from this experience in my CCA….

So here is what happened on the evening of Monday, 28 March 2005. I was dropped. Handled the whole thing well that day… the coach asked me and the other 2 J2s whether we noe why we were being dropped. Of course I knew! It was my technical skills. As for the other 2, it’s having a bad temperament and some physical limitation. The 3 of us knew where we were heading next- Recreational soccer. We want to contribute something to the J1s…. or one can also say that that’s where rejects go to.

Since that evening, whenever I am not preoccupied with my work, my mind will dwell on the Monday incident. Various questions came to my mind like… “What do I want to do with the time that I have” … “How I wish I was still in the team”… “Am I happy or sad to be out of the team” etc. These questions, and more, were like the pop-ups in my computer—I simply dunnoe how to make them stop and when they pop-up, usually a few of them simultaneously, its hard to close them one by one. To close these pop-ups, my mind will have to venture deep into my mind…give myself the answers to the questions…and only then will the pop-ups be closed. Such is how my mind work.

On Tuesday, I wasn’t myself. I couldn’t concentrate during class and lectures. I needed a pop-up blocker coz the pop-ups are popping up like popcorns in a popcorn-popping machine. After school, did some work till about 7 with Hock and Yuy-g and frens … while my mind was elsewhere.

Wednesday came. I was like a zombie… lifeless. And during physics practical… I felt like giving up everything. We had to do some simple calculations to fill up a table. I need to find the period of the oscillation—a very simple thing to do—just take the total time divided by the number of oscillation. Somehow, I calculated the period using the frequency formula, without realizing it. And I was damn certain that I was right—so certain was I that I wanted to see if Hock and gang remembered to use the right formula.

The right formula, at that time seems right to me, but obviously, it wasn’t right. I saw the difference in our answers and told him, in a very confident manner, that he was wrong as he used the wrong formula. They burst into laughter, and tears and stomachaches, for I have done a very funny thing-- using the wrong formula and telling them that they have used the wrong formula. Yeah… I became the butt of the joke. It was funny…haha..damn funny…if the Ali then was me. But the Ali in the physics lab wasn’t me. He was doing many things at that time… deleting the pop-ups and doing practical. He couldn’t even think straight. He laughed at himself too…but for a while… for he knew that the Monday incident was affecting him. He covered his face…not in shame but in frustration… for he had allowed a small thing to affect him so much. More pop-ups…there was one too many…. he needed a break, so he went to the toilet.

Once in the toilet, it felt like I was in another world—a world where I can take my mind off school. I calmed myself down. Took a couple of deep breath. Washed my face and proceeded with practical.

There was CCA carnival after school. I was at the booth, along with Kai and Yong…. trying to get people to join the Recre team. The whole team was there at first, kicking around before their training. I simply watched from behind the booth—feeling rather disappointed. Again, more pop-ups and of course, no one could see my disappointment …except one…

Btw, we managed to get 47 girls and 23 guys… not a bad figure…

Realizing that there was so many homework for Thursday, I decided not to go for the religious lesson and the history lesson later that night (8-10pm). I really wanted to go coz we’re now at Prophet Yaa’kub (Jacob) and Yusuf (Joseph). Saw cartoons of their life on Kids Central….and I wanted to noe more…but it’s ok…it’ll only be a small portion missed..

Had a warm and nice chat with a good friend later that night. It’s wonderful to have friends that u can talk to. Friends who truly understands and are willing to listen. Hey, ya noe who you are… … really appreciated it and thanks. Regarding your question whether I am okay or not…hmm…. I’m still unsure. But it’s tilting more towards the okay side though.

Thursday came and it went on a low note again. I was a zombie almost throughout the entire day. I didn’t talk as much… or bugged Hock for his mp3… or reminding him to put Jay’s songs in it. But something happened towards the end of the day.

Me and my frens were sitting outside the bookshop doing our own work. Then got this teacher who wanted us to help her. Like I said earlier, I too wasn’t myself that day.

Teacher: Hello, are u guys going to Bridge later?

(Before my frens could answer, I opened my big mouth)

Me: NO.
(It wasn’t in a rude tone. More like in a “joking can’t be bothered tone”)--> Wrong move!

Teacher: Would u guys help me staple worksheets for the lectures later….blah blah…Are u guys busy doing anything?

ME (and my big mouth): Erm…yah….we’re busy talking.

She gave me a ‘can’t be bothered look’ and went away. My friends were like, “Ali…. Die She walked away…. Better say sorry.” I realized that the teacher wasn’t in a joking mood. DUH…. She was rushing against time! And those who know me obviously know how slow and dumb I can be.

So I approached her to apologize, told her I was joking, that I shouldn’t have acted that way and that I was really really sorry. She said it’s okay and that she called some of her students to help—in that “pretend to be angry (or was she really angry?) + can’t be bothered look” and went up to the staff room. I sat back and my friends were like, “Ali….she’s angry with you…She’ll tell Ms Tan (my form teacher) about it…Die..”

Man! She was making me feel damn guilty—a feeling not worth experiencing. She came back again, this time with some students. And my friends asked me to apologize again. And she gave me the same look and said, “It’s okay. I don’t need you help. I called some gentlemen (friends of mine) to come and help.” I couldn’t tell if she was joking or not. I didn’t want to take any more chances, so I simply apologized again and sat back again. My friends were laughing at me. Like I said earlier, I felt damn guilty. When I’m quiet, I’m too quiet. Once I start talking, I’d tend to say stupid things.

AAAAAAARGH!!!!!!

Anw, I consoled myself by telling myself that I wasn’t a saint and that everyone makes mistakes.

After finishing the physics thing that I was doing, I didn’t noe where to go next. I was almost going home when I decide to make a u-turn and do something in school. I walked aimlessly trying to find anyone I know. Life would have been much easier if I had a handphone, which I do not due to some personal and valid reason.

Boon saw me…thankfully… so I watched he and the others play. Was invited to plae badminton, but at that time…. I was feeling damn guilty and disappointed… that I didn’t want to play. Sorry…maybe next time…if there is a next time (relax! This doesn’t imply that I’d be commiting suicide or anything okay)….Then that was when “I was sitting by myself, watching my ex-teammates do their self-training. I really missed those daes. Anyway, being me, I began to talk to myself…do some reflections… think about the things that has happened in the past few days……(Para. 1)”

This Thursday was by far the most restless Thursday I can remember!

Friday morning… i think i became the first person in the world to fall for an April fool's joke.Was chattin and didn't realise that it was April 1. And i fell for a trick I didn't see coming. Lame people like me shuld have seen it coming. In fact, i wanted to play a trick on those in MSN..and be the first person to make others the April's fool....SAdly, i forgot about the time. And hey...i was worried coz u said u had a bad cough... maybe, i m simply naive...haha..congrats for outsmarting me....it's this kind of thing that will help me forget MOndae...

BUT during lunch,I got bastard by a friend who said Xinmin was better than Anderson Sec coz no Xinmin player got dropped from soccer but Anderson Sec got ppl that kena dropped. Although he forgot that I was there, and I am an Andersonian, and that he said he had another Andersonian in mind…. my mood went back to a low. It’s a fact and I have to learn how to cope with this sort of pressure. Nevertheless…the pop-ups that were slowly decreasing in volume came back in numbers. I was beginning to get over the Monday incident as I was told by a good friend not to think too much about it… and that I will feel sad if I think about it coz soccer is my passion. I have to say that this good friend of mine has found for me the answer to why I feel sad even though I keep telling myself that there’s nothing to be sad about. Again….thx…

I’ll have to try harder to forget this. Btw, I had training today…haha….they got not enough people and I was glad to be part of today’s training… got time to improve on my fancy skills…lol…still got a long way to go…

Got home. Slept for 2 hrs. With my contacts on (lucky nothing happened). Too tired. Bathed. Eat. Watched a bit of Twilight Zone. And wrote this blog. Spent 3 hrs on this blog-- the longest amt of time I spent writing an entry.I couldnt do anything else. I had to venture deep in thoughts to recall as much as I can…..i like DOing this kind of soul-related healing procedure....hahaha

As much as I want to forget this week……I too, in future, want to look back and say, that this was the worst week I can ever remember.

Nightz!

CHEATERS and the rest of the wks happenings

Lemme start wif todae's happenings. Had soccer traning this morning. Starts at 9 but i woke up at 8. Bathed and gathered all the stuff as quickly as possible.Grabbed a cab and rushed for skool.TOdae's session was to be our selection...J2 trialists... lots of J1s came...but 3 got the sack almost immediately. Was feeling okay lah. Not nervous at all. An improvement coz i was alwaes worried sick wen it comes to such pressures.

I dun tink i did great(still cant find an alternative for this word). I failed to clear the ball properly...not once but a couple of times. Which goes to show that i still have a long way to go. Learnt a couple of new things from Captain Zhong-- with regards to positioning, clearing of ball and stuff like that. Captain Zhong is great(damn!i really need to find a substitute for this word) coz he was really patient and took time to expl things clearly to me. Some good points i can take from him when i replace Aide Iskandar in the near future...Captain Zhong said "A good coach once told me that a good defender is one who intercepts and clears and tackles well...He need not need to slide for the ball". Coz i alwaes think that sliding in for the ball is the "coolest" way to win the ball.WHich, again, goes to show that i still have a long way to go.So Singapore... Captain Ali is in the manufacturing process, and will be taking Singapore to the World Cup Finals...

BTW, b4 i proceed further... i hv to sae that i am now more wary of how to write my blogs. i noe u all may hv read abt this gal in the papers who had gotten dunnOe wat award for her blog.Yeah...i ended up in her blog via Grace's links and.....there was no big deal bout it except for her big pic there....ok ok lah...anw....read a couple of her entries and one of the thing that caught my eye was something she said something abt paragraphing and how one paragraph should not hv more than 7 sentences....so i m keeping my paragraph short.

Does seven sentences also mean not damn long sentences? Anw, she also said abt how the fonts should not be small. But i pretended not to see that one coz i like small fonts. My tutorials are all in small fonts.

I'd better stop digressing and go back to where I left off.

WE went to McD's for lunch. Some went to play pool after lunch but wo hui jia coz wo de Ah Ma at home alone. Saw a movie at home -- on TV of course-- entitled CHEATERS-->it's one of those low-budget movies.
These cheaters are'nt the villains but neither are they the heroes....the story simply revolves round these charachters like how the planets revolve round the Sun(neither the planets nor the Sun are heroes or villains right??) Lame analogy but anw...a summary of the story.

This begins when i first switched on the story. Saw Guy A talked to guy B.A asked B if B would pay him $20 if A showed him something. B said yes.aND A, whose father worked as a cleaner in some educational institute, got hold of a copy of some test paper for B. Sounds confusing right?

The whole story is about a group of kids from Steinmetz High School and they are in the school's decathlon team--> similar to our olympiad...its a competition involvng maths,speech,interviews,General Knowledge--- academics stuff.This team was fifth in the Regionals. They weren't exactly a good team. But through Guy A, they got a copy of the Qns before hand...meaning they'll win the States competition allowing them to go through to the nationals.

Yes,the team won. But there's this bastard in the team...he was not first team...he was asked to act as a judge(a college volunteer) using a pass obtained from a friend of his(the real student who was supposed to judge). And this bastard was told not to go near the team for a week or two...just in case some other students from other schools recognise him with the team....be it in photos or in interviews on tv...which will then lead to suspicion. So this bastard can't take it anymore--not getting any credits and all-- and wrote about the whole cheating thing in an essay of his during English lesson.Damn basket sia this guy!

He was called into the principals office and asked whether it was true or not. In front of the principal as well as his team teacher IC...he said he made the whole story up. But somehow at home, he can't take it any longer and decided to call the papers. The story of his came out in the morning papers and .....to make the story short, let me FAST FORWARD>>>I abit.

Teacher got sudpended for a while, studenty brought into questioning by some lawyers from the education board(something like our MOE). After pressuring the students for ome time...one of them, a catholic who didnt like cheating, succumb to the immense pressure and exploded. He admitted cheating....i dun blame him. When a volcano has to erupt....hu can stop it??(another lame analogy) But Mr Plecki(the teacher) said to the team after they won that "Benjamin Franklin once said that in order for 3 people to keep a secret, 2 of them must die". He wanted the team to prove Mr Benjie wrong...but they failed.

"The late Benjamin Franklin" 1 - 0 "Cheaters" ...........haha

That Irwin Flickas(the sabo king a.k.a the bastard) should be shot dead!.....hmm....where did i put that shotgun of mine?

Why cant the cheaters win? Anw...medals were returned, school stripped of the championship....teacher went to some other place. Students managed to go to college...(The director's way of a happy ending?) But producers can't make a show to encourage viewers to cheat, can they??

Nice show.3 Stars.

Now let's see what happened on last Sunday.
Sundae:
Rushing for homework. Did Mondaes homework.

Mondae:
Found out abt Napha.test. Copied chem. No trouble wif teachers.ANd that afternoon...i had gotten Gold for Napha!

Tuesdae:
Nthg much. After skool hanged out wif Hock,yuy-g and a couple of their frens...passed them the stuffs i bought specially for them. Glad they liked it.It's nothing compared to the friendship I share wif them.

Wednesdae:
Nothing much. NOrmal skool dae plus normal trng.

THursdae: Hmm....last dae of the wk. Firdae Good Friday. Wanted to do my homework but ended up playing soccer. Yuy-g told me she cant do the next qn of vectors 2.I taught her qn 1 on tuesdae. Nothing to do wif my cleverness...just tt Mrs Goh a.k.a nths teacher had gone thru wif my klass the answer. Anw, her telling me she cant do....i got this feeling that she'd want me to teach her. But i didnt saw her after skool. Wanted to tell her I'd be at the field...and i wun be studyin...but i didnt!....Was a abt to go home afer self trng...and HAaha...saw her....she acted sad lah.....haha...I was damn sorry lah...but she spent her time playing bball and bdminton wif her frens.... but still...tt's not the point...i shuld hv left her an sms or sthg...haha..
hao xiao sia...coz i dun hv a hp.

GOod fridae: Slack day. Wrote the previous entry....finished some physics tutorials-- did some touch up b4 handing it in on MOndae...

And tt's this week's hapenings in a single entry.ANd... I'd better focus on my studies...coz the A-levels is approaching---FAST!

All about the AJ SOC Malacca Trip in March hols

AJ Soccer Malacca Trip 17-19 March ‘05

DISCLAIMER: This entry is almost 3,000 words long. My longest entry thus far. So I suggest u make a cup of coffee and some sandwiches before u begin reading.

Wed, 16 Mar: It’s a bit late.... and I am still packing my stuffs. 1 bag or 2 bags? Backpack or those sling bags? To bring or not to bring my homework? How many shirts and undies 2 bring?? So many decisions I have to make in such a short time! Btw... I brought 2 bags, one sling and one backpack, decided to bring GP, juz in case I get bored on the way there...lol...

Can’t wait for the "highly awaited trip". Seems like shiok like that. JUst frens.... no one to set rules.. ..no rules to follow.... and no HW!!.... Yeah!.... just soccer!

Thurs, 17 Mar: It’s a beautiful day. Still walking ard looking for things tt I might need in Malacca. I scared tt I may forget some impt things....HAd to wake up early... will tompang Boon and his mum...lucky no nd to carry such big bags on the train.

Reached school. Jeans and white sports tee hugging the frame of my body. Everyone must tuck-ing (Kim's style of pronunciation). Zhong...Zhong... By 8 am, everyone came. THen, we left-- for Malacca.

Heard tt the ride will be a very long one. So I took out my GP...and began reading...all the way till TUas checkpoint. Kena bastard along the way --- but like my sec 4 form teacher mentioned in my Testimonial (nthg related to frenster)-- I could accept criticism well. Being bastard-ed by ppl seems to be "All's in a day's work for me". PLs lah....evn kena bastard by COach for doin HW!...haha

We changed bus when we reached the Malaysian side of the SEcond LInk. The bus was full of mosquitoes... not the blood-sucking ones though....but many irritating mosquitoe-look-alikes flying ard. I had no complains ...coz I FOUND RM$50... so lucky of me.... wanted to kp it for myself. IT'S MIND.....ALL MIND!!... but Nizar saw....damn....asked everyone to "SShhh!"....and said "Drinks on me at our next pit stop!"... ACtually, it was quite shiok buying those guys drinks. ANW....frm tt pit stop onwards....it was GP....and wen we were abt to reach( by this time almost everyone began to wake up)...i wanted SLEEP!

There was a short period of intense trauma during the bus ride.... we were already in Malacca....on our way to our hotel. WEnt round and round....saw numerous hotels....some looked DAMN sucky tt we were saying under our breaths--praying--that our hotel would be a decent one.

We went to, what it seems to be a deserted area....small small buildings...hopefully our hotel wouldn’t be in one of these buildings...even CAptain Zhong was feeling anxious...haha... The tour guide(who gets paid for doing nothing) broke the suspense by saying we finally reached the place where we would hv our lunch....Heng ah! Pretty decent food we had there.....and a preety decent dirty joke from Shak too.

AFter lunch, we reached our hotel-- Emperor Hotel. Quite nice lah. The whole 21st floor was ours for almost the whole day...b4 ppl start strolling in...But still...we acted as if they weren't there...and the 21st floor--for the next 3 daes--belonged to AJ SOCCER. WE shot a couple of shots--kelme advertisement-- where Guoxing can be seen skipping past "defenders" like a rock skipping of the surface of water(poor analogy, but nvm!)

Had a game at 5pm tt dae. Against a team we were not told abt. IN the end, the bus we boarded entered a well-guarded skool--not becoz it was a Chinese skool or a rich ppl's skool--but becoz it was a prison skool-- Henry Gurney sthg sthg.WE saw ppl running,marching...big gates, guards on patrol(i m beginnin to exagerate,forgive me). The "kids" there were tall...fit, strong, tatooed...SCARY.... Everyone were panicking... I tink I was feeling ok..... why shuld i panic wen i noe i wun start. Evn if i did start... wats there to b afraid off?ANw, despite the fears and all...we won them 6-0. I played near the end. Played quite a decent game. Morale and spirits were high. One bad thing happened though. Shak got injured. He got struck by one of the “gangsters” on his right knee. Will he be the next Adib?…. and that Adib was scaring Shak like f*** sia ….though he might be true…

WEnt back to hotel by 7. Changed and went down at the lobby...having dinner. The bus took us to some dark place...went into a Chinese restaurant. ADib was asking whether it was Halal or not. REstraunt rception says it's halal. Halfway thru....ZHi kai our Keeper said tt the vege got alcohol...fish got cooking wine. WINE...ALCOHOL....where can be halal one??....BASket.Stopped eating. While we were leaving, i asked the auntie at the counter for a halal cert. She wanted to lie by wanting to show me her bisnes permit...for goodness sake...i read malay!... den, she decides to sae that it is halal bcoz behind the shop...the "Government is oso eating the food"....Basket!...who's the "gvt"?.... So I left in quite a pissed off mood lah...

Tts it for the day. Its nighttime. Boon and KIM were in our room....WE talked for a while...i talked a lot. Most of it was rubbish. Must have gotten drunk after eating the alcohol-laced dinner. Later, I GAve a couple....ok i m lying...LOTS of prank calls to ppl....some were even sleeping wen I called..... Oops!...TAlked to W Jia over the phone for quite some time...haha...talked to SHAK for quite a while too....1 hours ++... Den, a question popped up in my complex mind--"will i be charged for giving all the calls?"If yes, den all the money i hv will hv to be used to pay for all those calls i made!"

...The first day came to an end, making way for the second dae of what seems to be the most exciting Holiday i ever had.

Fri,18 March: Got woken up by my alarm clock. Yes, I brought my own alarm clock. Morning prayers. Den came the Hotel’s wake up call. And it followed by me giving other rooms more wake up calls. I called Wei Jia’s room twice if I can remember correctly. Asked him later how many wake up calls he got. He said 5. Haha…. Shak woke up having difficulty straightening his right leg. He had difficulty walking too! Had breakfast at the hotel’s restaurant. Had to be wary of what to eat and what not to eat coz we’ll be having a training session with Mr Raju, an ex-Malaysian national player. This training session will be at nine.

After almost an hour of bus ride, we reached our “training ground”—a school field. Had a great 2 hours training session. Learnt how to warm up effectively. Overlapping techniques. Shooting techniques. Chesting of the ball. Juggling. How to play the 4-4-2. Tips and some valuable advise. Learnt a lot from him. Shak could only watch from far. Damn wasted. Den it was back to the hotel.

Took a long shower and by 12, we met back at the lobby. WE were HEADING to Makhkota Parade (a shopping center) to do some shopping. WE had all the way till 4 before we were to meet back at the meeting point. Took a couple of team pics. Once in the shopping center, we headed for the food court to eat lunch—lots of great food! But again, had to watch what we eat coz there’s a match tonight! Walked ard the mall. Nothing much to buy lah. Some bought caps and jerseys. Went to Giant to buy stuffs to eat later at the hotel. Went to Nike shop in front of Giant and 6 of us, I think—me, Gene, Zhong, Jia, Kai, Ronaldo –bought the same kind of jersey but different colour. 3 orange, 2 blacks, 1 blue…I like blue. WE went to Starbucks and Coffee Bean…. I saw a chocolate fudge cake that I simply cannot resist. Bought it. Soon, it was 3 ++ and all headed back to the bus. Tasted the cake. Not that good lah. The cake was not soft and fluffy like I expected. Not that chocolaty too!

Once we reached the hotel, we had a break till 7. Some of us played card games. I played this snap-like game… and guess what….became the first person to lose in such a short time. Not once but twice. Playing that game was damn stressful. More filming of Kelme freestyle.

It was almost 7. WE headed for the “stadium with carpet grass” only to find out that we have been conned! It was a very sandy pitch. Carpet grass my foot ah! But the weather at night was great man! Cool breeze.

When the game started, the crowd was getting bigger and bigger. They were loud! Damn shiok sia! WE drew 1-1 in the first half. But by the end of the second half, we were down 5-1. Some of them in the stands were telling us to go home. While some told us to keep on playing since we are still ‘small kids’. Got some nasty comments from our coach. Den, we headed back to our hotel. ON our way back….the mood was low.

DISCLAIMER: The following few paragraphs are not for the faint-hearted.

We alighted the bus. All of us went to the convenient store across the road to buy food. All except me, Shak and Boon. The 3 of us went up ourselves and to our own rooms. Shak went to the toilet while I went to make some tea to drink. Suddenly, I heard a voice from outside. Boon’s voice to be exact. He called for me and Shak.

Voice (Belive me, it’s Boon’s voice): “Shak! Ali!”

Knowing that he would not mind waiting a while longer, I continued to make my tea.

Voice (Belive me, it’s Boon’s voice): “Shak! Ali!”

Wahlao!! This Boon cannot wait meh? I walked briskly to the door. Opened only to see—the door opposite my room. “What the….” I dun noe how I did it, but I looked left and right and left and right.

I screamed for Boon. Heard the voice….Boons voice. He opened his door.

Me: U got call for me and Shak?

Boon…(I noe he’s the voice): Siao!

Me: Really??!!#%%

Boon: Crazy!

Ok. So if the voice wasn’t boon’s, that whose voice was it?

I looked left and right and left again. And slammed shut the door. Freaky!!

Was taking a long shower. Shak wanted 2 glasses….which were in the toilet. WaS abt to pass it to him when one of the glasses slipped off the plastic bag it was in and came crashing on the floor. Damn unlucky sia! So, while pple were sitting along the corridor eating instant noodles… I was busy clearing up the mess I made.

Everyone left for their rooms. Some played cards. Some just talked and talked.

Was watching TV when the phone rang. “Hello?” I asked. There was silence. “Hello?” I asked again. There was silence again. Then ….the guy on the other end of the phone said “I WANT UR COCK!!”…. crazy fella. But I became crazier. Wearing nothing but my pants and shorts beneath, I went outside and screamed “ WHO THE HELL WANT MY COCK...

Then, things went fast forward. Nizar grabbed me and asked if I was ok. (Of course I was ok! Why wouldn’t I be?) He let go of me. And I shouted again. I knew the caller was Joel. So I went into his room. I shouted the phrase again. Then Nizar from behind grabbed me and called for a “stripping session” . I went to the corner of the room. Saw a knife and wanted to protect myself. Haha. Anw… I was pinned down. Long pants removed. Left my shorts alone. I didn’t want to kena “rape”…so with all my might, I pushed them aside…and rushed to my room. I was saved.

Felt hungry after all the things that happened. Made myself dinner- cup noodles….and went to slp.

Sat, 19 March: Time flies so fast. Last day of the trip. Had breakfast—this time can eat more coz we’re goin home tt day. This was a wrong decision which I had made. Coz at 12 pm… we went to another hotel for another buffet… and I cannot stuff all those delicious foods into my stomach. WE went for a short tour of Malacca. Went to the Red Building…managed to buy things for a couple of frens back home and also for my 3 siblings. After tt , we headed back to the hotel coz who wants to see Malacca??? We want to go home! Back at the hotel…. We went to the reception to get our room keys. Jonas got into trouble with the male/female receptionist. He looked like a she who looks like a he. So thinking that she/he wouldn’t noe Chinese…. Jonas whispered to Boon… askin him whether the receptionist was a male or female. Dumb thing to do coz the receptionist told Jonas in Chinese something that made him dumbfounded. Something abt not being brought up well. Everyone had a good laugh in the lift.

Like I said, we went for a lunch buffet. Good food!! And was heading home. I was feeling a little bit worried for not telling the hotel staff that I broke one of their glasses. But decided that it was a small matter.

Everyone was having a good sleep. I was half asleep, half doing GP hw! Den the bus came to a halt. We were at some bee museum. Basket! Everyone thought we were going home straight! After much persuasion and knowing that we need to give face to the teachers, who seems to be the only ones keen, we went to take a look. There was a guide there who showed us ard. It would he been a damn embarrassing experience if all of us chose to stay on the bus. Anw, everyone seems keen in the end. WE managed to drink some honey. And Nizar wanted to buy some bee venom honey to cure his back problem—but it costs a bomb. After at least 30 minutes in the “cheapskate museum”, we were on hour way home.

The tour guide, which was with us throughout the trip kept reminding us not to bring in chewing gum. He managed to make me worried. Luckily, I managed to pass through Customs with ease.

Back in Singapore at last. Lionel got a fright with regards to his passport. He thought he lost it. Searched through his bags for it I saw a red thing in his back pocket and told him to check it. He told me he checked already. When he was sitting…Adib, who was sitting at the chair beside Lionel’s told him that the passport was indeed in his back pocket. Dumb fella I must sae…

Reached AJ at 5pm. Was heading home on the train. The things that were on our minds were homework. So much homework so little time.

But since this blog entry is “All about the Malacca trip”…. I’ll talk abt what happened the following week in another entry.

(PS: This entry was written a week after the actual trip due to fatigue and lack of time. Meaning i had the luxury of being "back in malacca". Whatever I said is 98% true, coz some parts of it were exaggerated to some extent. Hhaa.)

The final week of term one.....

Here's a brief description of what i've been doin tis wk.

Sunday: Been doing mths since morning....my mind has been working overtime. Vectors make me see and think 3-D....scary....haha.....its 2 plus am now.......doing Linear Interpolation.....lucky got hock online now to push me....haha.....he oso doin tis hw...hah.......sien..we wanted to see who could do more...

....and the next day,Monday,.....he won..i got too tired.

THe March holidays!! One week left. Got back my results for the common tests...i am happie to say tt i only failed my chem. Passed the other subjects like Gp, Physics and Maths. In fact, these are the only subjects I take.

Holidays in my country, Singapore, (…like writing AQ,lol) is equivalent to more homework. So here’s a list of what I’m supposed to do:

Gp
Sort and put GP materials into the right files. Update table of contents.

Reading articles sort according to topics

Do section F of GP times pg 238

Extra: Appy info to AQ questions….if u want ur A

At least 4 articles + mindmap + vocab + Apply to at least 1 essay qn

Essay qns:

The best test of a civilized society is the way it treats its weakest members.Discuss.(1996)

To live is to change. Is change always beneficial? (1994)

The strong do what they will; the weak do what they must. Discuss. (1994)

Is it ever right for one county to become involved in the internal affairs of another? (1997)

Good government requires the courage to take unpopular decisions. Discuss this statement with examples to support your answer. (1996)

Is equality for all a realistic and desirable aim within a society? (1994)

Maths

Vectors 2

Mindmaps

Revision

Chem
Revise electrochem
Carboxylic acid tutorial and what not…
Mindmaps
The ester practical thing

Physics
E field tutorial
Capacitance tutorial
Magnetic thingy….better read up on this coz nothing went into my head

I’m such an organized person. Lol!! I like to plan my schedule. I spend my time looking thru my “diary” + planner to arrange the stuffs that I am supposed to do. Some close friends of mine have noticed this and have told me what they think about this “bad habit” of mine. Yes. “ Bad habit” ….in inverted commas. This signifies the irony that exists (another aspect of GP….lol) . What I’m trying to say is, planning is good (take my word for it). But don’t overdo it. These close friends of mine told me that by planning and not do anything concrete, I’m in fact wasting my time. Come to think of it, they’re right. I realized it quite some time ago…. But it’s these kind of things that people say to you that really makes the difference. So now, every time I opened my planner… I could like see them sitting beside me … telling me what they’ve told me before. Anw, in case u readers haven noticed….i m digressing.

On wif the other highlights of the week. Class party. Celebrating 1 year of togetherness *cough cough* and all those who had their b’daes in this first term. Ate pizzas (yucks)…they eat pizzas I mean. Pizzas stink!!! Literally. Not tt fun…but it’s something.

Soccer match against SGS. We won. Everyone got a chance. I thought I did ok. But sadly, I conceded 2 goals. Argh! Trying not to think too much about it. Coz I really did ok.

It was raining that Friday. And sadly, I got a fever. A 38.1 degrees. The highest I’ve obtained ever since the day I can count. Anw….been feeling down the whole of Saturday.

Sunday: Today, I felt a lot better. Tidied my room a bit. Planned all my March holiday homework. Looking forward to the Malacca trip this Thursday. Am all geared up for it. But for now, homework is on the menu. Better start doing.

Peace.

Welcome to my life.....

The day is Saturdae, March 6, 2005. I was feeling really bored the entire day. After days of doing work till late, I felt that I needed rest—plenty of it. I was walking ard aimlessly the whole day, doing nothing. Neither my school work nor house work were done. I stared at my monitor most of the afternoon… even though the com is off. I was bored…damn bored.

I woke up late today—9.30 am to be exact. Me and a couple of guys frm AJ soccer were to meet at Lavender MRT station so that we could extend our expired passport together. The meeting time was 10.00 am. Even if Singapore had Shinkansens (Japanese bullet trains) or the Maglevs trains, I wouldn’t make it in time. I had to inform them I couldn’t make it. Theres one problem—I don’t have any of their no. Ppl my age would hv all his or her pals no. stored in his or her handphone. Sadly, I dun have one. So I was like signing in and out of Messenger to see if any soccer guys were online so that I could ask for my fren’s no. It was almost 10.00….before [bOoN] Is FaRt uP.. s0 iS [hAn]-----AnD tInK [tAn] 0sO------s0 wHeRe'S B0oN hAn???[7]” came online. Got wei jia’s no. Called him and they were informed of my absence.

I had to go there sooner or later. So I bathed quikly and hurried to the building at Lavender. Went up the escalator to the second floor. OMG!! The queues were super long. Had to see which queue I had to stand in…coz there were queue for collections of passport, taking passport size photographs…and one for extension of passport – my line. After 15 minutes of queuing to get my number(8031), I realized that there’s 90+ ppl before my no. WTH!! Went out to get something to eat….came back in 15 minutes. Still had to wait for 10 minutes before counter 31 called for my number.

“Auntie” at the counter: “Yes how can I help you?”

Me: I’d like to extend my passport.

Auntie” at the counter: “Passport please.”

*I obliged*

“Auntie” at the counter: “IC please.”

*Shit*

“Auntie” at the counter: Sorry, you need an IC. Come another day.

*ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

Me: erm…. Ok ….thanks

Had the afternoon I mentioned earlier. Never have I been this bored before. How I felt I was like the others—going out with frens, watch movies and stuff like that. BUt the problem is…. My mama don’t like me doing all this stuff. Waste money, waste time. She’s right to a small extent. Having shared such a close bond with my Mama, I always listen to what she say—even though I may not like what she says sometimes. She’s my Mama afterall. People don’t really understand this. They say I am a lazy bugger who always gives excuses for refusing to go out with them. Which is why they aren’t even bothered to ask me out now. But sadly, I am sort of being “controlled” by my mum. It’s for my own good, she says.

Spent the night doing work and talking to some people online. I got his to say. One shuld not bother too much abt wat others hv to sae. Different people have different styles. One may try to be nice while others simply do not care about the feelings of others. Though it may be hard to ignore, I simply have to “Let it be.” It is a good advice. After all, u can’t just dispose a friend. He may be lacking in one area, but he does have his own good side. No one’s perfect. I simply have to acknowledge that. Having a conversation that both sides will enjoy is hard. It may be easy to talk to some people, but it’s not when it come to some others. The pen is said to be mightier than a sword….but words are way mightier than a pen. It hurts. This is life. Welcome to my life…..

A loooong week...

I shall talk abt todae first. ALi saw hock todae since he first got his accident, which was onli 2 daes ago. haha. Man! Hock dislocated somthing in his arm...ok....ermm....maybe it IS his arm. Anw, he came just so he could do spa. THings really is different wif him ard.During gp....we watched a documentary frm NAt geographic....HOnour of Men: Killing of women in pakistan. My only comment: Read the Quran properly before making baseless claims! Did my GP hw after skool end. Trying to write the perfect AQ and summary. Its hard.....and i dun noe the proper way to write one. Came back after prayers...to see my seniors get their A-levels results. DAmn! It was an eye opener for me lah. Make me motivated to work harder...its so very differnet from the Os. PPl are getting Cs and Dss instead of the As i tot many would get. WAAKE UP LAH ALI! how could u be so....hmmm....DUMB? Die....U must work doubly hard now.

Had training at 5....heard ppl, J2s to be exact, will be dropped. Scared man! There were new comers....not that bad lah..HAd a short 7 aside game.....the new comers vs the lousier seven frm aj....we lost 2-0..man! Both were sue to my mistakes. Let the ball fly above me. My positioning was wrong....as always.Would sure kena dropped soon.... was feeling really down. But the seven newcomers were reduced to 3......hhaa.... Had another game soon after......played Defensive mid....ok la...lucky played better.... den while playing halfway ...saw the badminton ppl walking on the track. They were moving towards the region behind the goal post. Hock not there...haha......DUH!!...

then, out of no where....came this clearence. Ball fell onto my feet. Looked down. Aimed. Shot. Too much strength. Ball flew inches above bar. SAw the XInmin gurl. NO...NO....NOooooooooo!!!...Yes....it hit her straight on her head....oops......Then she looked giddy. She fell to the ground and was holding her head. Panic ran through me. Looked at coach. Was allowed to go take a look. Asked her if she's ok. (yeah...i noe its a dumb qn....but wat else could i sae?) Sorry.....sorry......sorry.....was all i could sae.She got back on her feet....said she was ok....still giddy perhaps......OOps....really sorry ya dear badminton girl.....almost another badminton player down....OoPs!

going to malacca in the hols....soccer-related. Going to play 2 teams there.....looking forward to it.

HIghlights of this wk
-aj out of the aj tournament...drew wif NY....had lots of chances
-hock's injury....wahlao...swing too much....see, nver warm up
-stayed back late doing hw with 2 frens....shared abt my life....started wen yuying tok abt qiuteng mother....scold QT for coming home late due to badminton.....den to my sis.....den....my bros....blah blah
-FOR the first time.....i went through so many blogs....blog hopping....and found my primary skewl fren's blog

It has been work work work for me this wk. in fact, i ve been coming home after eight everyday this wk....my first in my entire 17 years....lucky i hav an understanding mom!

Sorrie for the long absence....

It has been ages since i wrote my last blog. Could not find the time to write something. Either that or i could not think of anything to write about. Anyway, AJ drew with YJ yesterdae...0-0... it was a great game...the best we've had so far....if only we could plae like that on a regular basis.

had a game against Greenview Sec a couple of weeks back....got trashed 6-0..but am still happy after the game. They were superb man! Excelllent in the air...with their accurate passing and crosses. Realised how different they are from AJ. Anyway, we didn't plae our full team.

will be having a game at 5 later today against Mr Koh's team. A team filled with teachers. Hopefully we can have fun there. Again, not evryone will be turning up. But i'll be goin to gain match fitness.

Will miss tonights mentor meeting. WE were invited for dinner and chit chat session at Nizam's place....but the team is more impt. so...sorry guys, i can't make it.

Have been playing this five letter game with Hock recently...whether its during lecture or outside lecture...haha.... he cant seem to beat me in our last few "encounters".....but maybe i m damn lucky lah..haha...Our last game: I had to make a final decision regarding the word... i already found out the last 4 letters of the word by my fourth try--> _ atch. The word can either be "batch", "patch", "match", "Catch","watch"...
Worried that he could try to change his word selection...i told him to write on a piece of paper the word he chose... looking at him....i chose the word "patch".......and guess what....i'm right.....haha....and he told me that he'lll spend 2 hrs looking up the dictionary for words that he could use to "make me lose"....haha
It was a great game...

And yuying and hock made me realise that i spend more time looking at my planner instead of doing the things i was supposed to do. I guess they were right. I closed my planner and manage to do a mindmap for approximation of roots. Thanks guys!!

lowest point of this year......

The fifth wk is almost coming to an end. Finished cny deco todae. Finished chemistry spa skillA todae. Also had a friendly against NYJC todae, which I’ll talk abt in a while.

Chinese new year deco……haiz….not a class effort lah. Only some did. Its not that ppl are not participative but I think its more the class leaders fault lah, not preparing the stuffs early and getting ppl together. Ppl are willing to help. Ppl made fishes last fridae but I wonder how many of those fishes actually made in on the class display. I feel sad for them lah…

Family day nxt and still, we haven discuss wats our nxt step. Not wif the class at least. Just some ideas and no concrete conclusion. Segragations? Conflicts? Really….. Is it serious?…I dunnoe…. I dun tink so… our class is doing fairly ok lah….or maybe I’m still lagging way behind others…

Soccer…yes….soccer. Against NYJC. Beat them 2-1. Tackles flying in. More like watching wrestlemania. Unfriendly friendly. Our team played ok lah. Won through two free kicks. But at the end of the day, was feeling quite sad lah. Even though I didn’t miss headers, concede any throw ins, give away free kicks nor lose any possession … I was still sad lah. Played less than a minute I think. Getting so hyped up over nothing. Recovered from my fever for nothing. Not that I was damn good that I deserve that place… but its just a feeling nonetheless…. Worse than that of my first week in skool. Just goes to show that I really need to fight for that spot and show them what I m capable of. But overall…. this match will not be a forgettable one. But having been reminded to do reflections, here’s what I think: Never be too excited for any game(WHAT FOR?!)…and todae woke me up…I must start being aggressive…and more focused… more confident of my abilities….ITS JUST A FRIENDLY…why risk getting injured??..

….depressed…

FInding Forrester

aNother great movie i just watched. Very inspiring. wished that I too could write like Jamal Wallace.... i missed the first one hr of the show....wasted...watched the other 2.5 hrs....its a long movie... and a great one!

the family day planning is a very exhaustive one. NOw i noe wat it feels like doing a business.... hope something more productive can be done by the end of next wk....

the fourth wk?...

Finally had some time to spare.....been busy catching up wif hw...tired after soccer trainings...
Life has been great. Had greater control of my time in skool...was doin werk most of the time after skool..

BEen havin problemz wif my electrochem and differential eqn....waaah....hav been copyin hw blindly for the past few daes.....and i m not proud to say tt i copied. Didnt want to impede the progress of my grp members... fizix is the IN subject now.Happie to say tt i can do current of electricity and dc circuit by myself....not forgetting the help i got frm my classmate in helping me master some key concepts......

sooccer trainings.....one word......"GREAT".......mmmm

two cool words tis wk......"class politics"

being a class leader was fun.... exhaustive,yes.......tiring,yes.....but its all in the package. Its hard standing in front givin instructions.....afraid tt they might sound like orders... always trying to get ppl to werk WITH u and not FOR u...... getting ppls support and cooperation. Lucky for me, my class is great.....supportive... but wen the teacher gets involved.........it spoils everything...2 ...hav stepped down...givin others a chance to lead.... one is going soon....leaving me and the 2 new guys...whos the new addition?I dunnoe.... wen will i be next? I dunnoe. I nvr got a chance to lead wen i m in secondary sch...or pri sch...am taking tis chance now... and will i ever give it away? guys....if u want my role...u have to stage a revolution and challenge me.... i aint going down tt easily...not till i ve done wat nds to be done....

LOL ...just kiddin.....

anw, better do some werk now....haha....till nxt time....

3rd week of skewl already??!!

ITs already the third week of school...can u believe it?.....I certainly can't...

I m still in the team.Lucky me. Must put in my BEST in the next few trainings!Practising heading balls after balls quite painful oso...hopefully nvr get brain damage...touch wood..

Regarding the pre-u seminar, dun tink i want to go. COz then i'll have additional thngs on my timetable... and the teacher didnt ask for a response so....ya...maybe nxt time...haha...

Did lots of work this past few days. Holiday homework have all been done! But i have yet to revise this year's work like electrohem...redox...DC circuit... must quicken my pace a bit...and start relearning last year's work too!

Today, Hock told me tt he do currents worksheet till qn 8 oready. SO fast!! SO i stayed back in skool and do tt tutorial...till qn 9..haha....Its good to hv ppl like him....can sort of have a benchmark....

Some people make me sweat during civics today...becoz of some things i wrote in my reflections for SL...its unclear...the way i wrote it made it seems like...nvr mind...haha....and the teacher said i didn t blush, my face just turned red....-_-"... anw..hmm...yah...

Time is going by very qwuickly now....i can feel it....can you?

The second week has passed...

Time does fly. First, it was Happie New year and now, it has since been two weeks. The second week was a much pleasant week. Been doin work consistently. But I have also been sleepin early. On Thursday, did homework in skool wif Hock ...and Yuying(...hock gf...haha...no lah), frm 3-7... got home ate..and slept at nine!..in my school uniform!...while watching a lil bit of TV! ... didn't had time to redo an essay nor revise for chem spa assessment. Woke up at 5 on fridae morning and had to rush--iron my clothes(not the one i wore to sleep), pack my bag and read the chem notes...

Manage to do the chem spa assessment..though with loads of mistakes... anw.. had soccer training tt fridae afternoon.The COach made it clear tt he'll be droppin some players to reduce the squad to 24 men...meaning 5 had to go. WE had a game against each other...coach busy writing stuffs(maybe who's in and who's out)... played ok today... but me and shak kind of surprised we didnt get to play the second half...is he tryin to see more of the others by not playin us....or did he had enuff of us...?...HAHA...anw, shook hands wif shak while on the stands..calling him the captain of recre soccer, me the vice-cap... gave posts to the other 4 ppl who weren't playing. It was a way to loosen up things... to look forward into the near future. If i m not selected, i wun be tt upset... the coach and the team have really changed me as a footballer...But i noe i ll still be in the team for the nxt few trainings.....pray hard!...and play hard!...shak too!

Had fitness training at the end of the session...ran a couple of sprints...was ok...feelin a lil bit tired and had wobbly legs...didn't feel like dyin though coz my fitness had doubled or tripled over the past one year...haha... was encouraging the other J1s and all not to give in to their tiredness.... haha...was in their shoes early last year... anw, the results for who's in and who's not will be out next monday. Hopefully my name will be on that list.

Was asked by the form teacher after skool on Fridae afternoon,me and the other 2 class leaders...regarding some pre-u seminar...a wk stay at NUS... 30+ students frm each JC...during the june hols...... sounds like fun but have to go thru some interviews...which is what most ppl are afraid of... anw, my knowledge on things is not tt good also...meaning i wun be tt good a candidate for the seminar... but it took me less than a minute after she told us tt i should try and go for it. Take wateva opportunity tt comes in my way. I got nothing to lose anyway right? It'll be a great learning experience for me if i do make it thru...so...hmm....do i hv wat it takes?... Should i go for it?...I wouldnt noe if i dun try...well....i guess i'll go for fun....face the panel of interviewers....and see wat happens!...i told myself..u have to go thru these kind of interviews at some point in life...be it at work or when i apply for a place in cambridge...lol...so..i guess i ll try..yeah!
Like i said...i got nothing to lose but all to gain...

Till nxt time..!

A week has passed....

Passed thru the weeks wif my Gp hw undone.... escaped the wrath of my teacher. HAd to finish it during the wkend.... nd to study for chem test too!

Had college CIP on Fridae..given a chance to lead. Boy! Did i had a great time. Inyan was a very cooperative group. Did loads of planning prior to Friday with the rest of the class leaders...it kind of made us closer to each other. We should hv more college CIPs like this....maybe J1 lead....

Today is TUesdae...frm today's standpoint, the first week of school was really horrible. Felt alone maybe becoz there's so much to do... needed time to think and talk to myself...after the weekends...more stuff were done and when the second week began, i felt kind of relieved. Became more focussed and have more time to be lame. Haha.

It was a wake up call the past week...a warning of how there's simply no time to spare in J2...everything was rush rush rush...like what other teachers have said last year. No more bargaining for more time to do hw... it's me who'll be sitting for the exams...it's me who decide whether i want to do my work or not... So....i'll be looking forward to brighter weeks ahead!

Urs trulie..

A bad start to the new skool year

Firstly, the day started in pe lesson. Took height and weight. I weigh 66 kg, 177 cm high. I was the only guy in klass to lose weight. Haha.... Anw, the rest of the day went downhill. It started with Maths. We were supposed to hand in our holiday assignment today, but i was not ready to hand in...so did the others. She got rather mad and began lecturing us... fair enuff... i too would be disappointed if i was her but its the first day of skool for goodness sake, although I dun wan to give excuses for not handing in my work on time. Finally managed to complete tonight. Will hand in tmr first thing in the morning.

Next was GP...didnt bring the newspapers...didnt bring summary...the 2 last minute essays were horrible... haven complete articles.....must hurry redo them tonite.... i didnt want to show that i have attitude problem... Was generally disappointed wif myself.

This was not helped by my sudden feeling of loneliness which MAY be due to the loss of ADib...(yes he is still alive)...Loss in a different sense. Spent my day in isolation most of the time...the person I talked to the most was myself.... and the only thing that followed me everywhere I went was my bag. Anw, i needed time out from the rest of the world...Just so others noe tt I am not avoiding them nor do i hate being in their company. I need LOTS of time to reflect, do stuffs....

In general, had a really bad day today..... must prepare for tmr's assault. Tryin to do as much stuff tonite. Better get goin now....

Second day of "Happie New Year!!"

Began my day at 7am, just like yesterday. Began with physics, just like yesterday. Finally finished my physics,unlike yesterday.

Anw,was heading towards the bathroom when I saw this little girl. She was looking at me...then she looked elsewhere. No no no....its not anything supernatural lah...It's just that there was a show on tv."Amy" was the title. That girl, maybe ard 6-7 years old, looked so preety... so I stopped and lied down in front of the Tv. So, the girl's name was Amy, Amy Enkar. The setting was Britain...seems like it to me.

Amy was deaf...as I soon found out that it was due to shock. She could not hear when ppl talked to her, but could hear when they sing to her. The story unfolds in such a way that in the end...she could talk. It was a very very beautiful show-- the best of its kind. It formed tears in my eyes at the end of the show. Never has a show been so touching. Wonderful! Amy Enkar was played by Alana de Roma..is she french?Haha....wonder how preety she looks right now...:)

A good start to a new day of the new year! Have to rush through my General Paper now...Later..!

Its almost seven now...and still doing the essays...workin on the outline for my second essay. Tv's showing Ocean's eleven tonight. MAN! Its a must-see-movie and if i choose to watch this once-in-my-lifetime movie, I must BURN my midnight oil...See how later...I tink i can finish the 2 essays tonight...I shall also try to do as much gp articles as possible. DO the MOST IMPORTANT ONES first. It's always like this at the end of the holidays. Normally, I would cry on the night before the start of school..hehe.....because I have lots of stuffs still haven do...I normally regret not fully utilising the hols. BUt not this time...I tink I can handle all the scoldings and stuff like that...and is more capable of using all the time available to sort things out.Yeah!

Just came back from the barber. MAde one BIG error...tagged along wif my mum. She too wanted to go out. My hair was ALMOST perfect....when she suddenly appear out of nowhere and told the barber to cut it even shorter....ARGGHHH....the barber asked me, "u sec wat?"...Please...I am seventeen....He said he have a sec 2 son...and he allows him to do wateva he likes wif his hair....My mum still thinks I am in Primary school. At least she wants me to be the 9 year old who would walk close beside her,hold her hand....But she has to accept that I am 17!Anw, at least she still cares about me...but...grr.... Have to iron the clothes for tmr...will do tt while watchin Ocean's 11...will it be a cool show?...Better than national treasure??Lets wait and see..

Thats it from me today... come what may when school opens tmr....i m prepared to face it with everything that i've got!...BRING IT ON, 2005!

My first day of "Happie New Year"

I had a "great" time today...yea rite... Started my day at 7 am today. Did physics homework till abt 9am.Had breakfast. Continued with physics again till 3pm.Its now 3.27pm and still doin physics...almost done...argh...My backside gettin numb already.Hmm....lemme predict what'll happen later...I ll do physics till about 6. Bathe. And do GP at night. Lucky tonite's movie is MIghty Joe Young...watched already!!Quite boring lah, unlike National Treasure!Whahahahax;)

Just remembered I need to repair my bag...theres a huge tear on the top part. Wanted to buy a new bag but, must spend the funds we have WISELY. Its maybe a norm to get everything new just because its a New Year but I prefer to use my stuffs till it cant be used anymore. Looks like i have to give my bag a scrub too since it has been almost a year since i washed it. Wait...my cousin gave me tt bag...SO..it may be years since the bag is washed. All this must be done by tmr or the bag will be wet come Monday. Hopefully it doesn't rain tomorrow... like it did for the past hmmm....4 days? But if it does rain tmr, I dun need to go for the Mc Ritchie morning jog tmr...made compulsory for all soccer ppl.

Its 8.28pm now and still doin my physics....grrr....chat wif grace for a couple of minutes, the funniest thing i ever seen or heard today...maybe it shall be "The first joke of the New Year"....In her nick....she put there "i ate my dog and hw". Hahaa.. it may not sound tt funny wen i mention it like tis but, it was HILARIOUS when i first saw it. Lifei put "My dog ate my hw",but i found it common. But Grace's one,found it farnie. Maybe it's also another common one...but I never heard of it in my entire life. Ok then...must rush my physics now....hehehe

Its almost 10 now...almost done wif my physics...just a few qns left.I shall leave that to tmr coz rite now, it's, in the words of Hock, "articles chiongin time". But before i do that, i shall end off today's entry and start posting it already!

Today, was a boring day. Was filled with homewerks. Who else to blame other than...the TEACHERS!!!??? --No lah...me! I brought this unto myself. GOt 8 weeks of holidays to clear up my hw and of all the days there is, I chose to do it on New Years Day. Maybe, this is a sign of what MY 2005 would be like...full of last minute work, boredom and lots of time on my bum doin work. Haha...maybe not..

Anyway, heres wishing me, myself and I .....and of course to all my friends out there....including Strangers... who may or may not one day be my friends...

............."Happy New Year!!!" and may u all have a pleasant year ahead... :)