Friday, August 12, 2005

Fridae....

Disclaimer: MY entry today lacked organistion. Theres no smooth flow to it. Am just writing what i'm thinking....and i noe that my fingers cant match the rate of flow of my thoughts.

Lets start of with skool first shall we. Today was the short day--just chem and Gp. Haiyah, although i did kindof bragged abt ending skool early, i din really wanted to do so lah. Haha....was kindof needed somewhere to blurt out all the stuffs i never did for a really long time. Maybe that "suanning" day was one of those "really cannot take it anymore" time. Haha....

Hmm...its rather stupid of me to like tell my day on my blog. So i guess it'll be more of thoughts and stuffs like dat. I seem to hv found a keen interest in my chemistry. Yea....not too late yet. I simply gotto start some where...

Its my physics thats kind of worrying me.Although i got a D for it, i seem to be like scared of the subject. Its like i get restless during physics lessons and like cant wait for the lesson to end. There's no more "keen interest" like i used too. I think RAdioactivity and Nuclear thingy is my major weakness in physics and this is scaring me to pieces. And i cant seem to be able to do like anything related to physics with confidence. Perhaps its just a psychological barrier within my complex mind but.... i guess it may also b due to me not really preparing for lessons. haiz.... i guess, i simply have to stop fretting over nothing and start from somewhere...."coz we got to start from somewhere, rite?"

AND I very very very sad today lah. I was really lookin forward to the testimonial match. I wanted to play and run thru defences and score goals-- in other words, have fun. BUt barely a minute after stepping on the field, i went out and sat on the bench. After another couple of minutes, i changed back into skool u.

My groin damn pain. Dunnoe how i pulled the muscle lah! But damn pain. Cant like over stretch it by abit. Meaning i cant really jog nor run nor shoot. Cant even walk w/o caution lah. Damn sad. Was really looking forward to today's game. haiz.....

After tt, wenta BBQ at castle green. For the dunnoe how many times, i went against the norm. Haha.... wanted to reject and skip today's bbq lah but...dunnoe leh... Ali says he wants to be a bit less isolated so yea...

Quite fun...but me being the lousy me, i was the quiet guy. And ppl were like askin me why i very serious.... quiet.. and when Ali talked to ALi, he remembered that he was really the opposite of what he is right now lah. I was the saboking, the joker...lol....the gay,...haha.... haiz....but as i grow up, i simply change i guess. Quiet? Shy? Haha.... well...dunnoe leh..

And my sec 4 classmate all the teeth nice sia. Most wore braces then and now ok liao. Wah...sien....jealous. Well, who doesnt want a nice set of teeth. One can laugh without others laughing at him. One can smile without being the butt of jokes. Haiz..sien.... but me being more pious...haha...ya rite.... i kind of accept it lah. But wen the normal human side of me appears, i kind of envy them lah. But... haha....ex lah.... my dad says if want this kind of "extra" things wait till i go work and make my own money. Haha....wah...liddat by the time my teeth ok, ppl all married already. Hahaha....

the M word again sia. Haha....maybe its normal to think and talk abt the M thing when one's 18.....or approaching 18 tt is.

Was relaxing by the pool wif the rest while waiting for the food to cook. Looked ard....wah....how i wish i could reside in such a place. So relaxing and romantic... haha...like at hotel one.... haha..... I guess this will be a motivator for the time being. I wanna get good grades so tt i could land a good job so tt i can stay in a beautiful place like Castle green. Haha...but really....it is indeed a beautiful place.

waaaah....groin really really hurts lah. And i really really wanted to play. Why cant others see tt i really want to play? Why must others see it as an act-- that i am nervous or other stupid stuffs liddat? Cmon.... haha....maybe coz of e fact tt i always "lie" ....and "give excuses" is the reason why frens think twice b4 believing me.... which i guess, is the reason why i chose to be quiet. Hehe...Dun wanna give any silly remarks or say anything stupid that will haunt me in future... haiz..

...Life... u cant please everyone....what's impt is tt i m happy... haha.....i m feeling sappy now though.....Sad+hAPPY ...

No comments: