Tuesday, September 27, 2005

trust

I was thinking abt the concept of "trust" on my way home. Hock....australian... joke... me....someone....girl or guy.... It may seem harmless to the joker, but really, all this makes the joker a slightly less reliable person.(Not u Hock, i'm tokin abt tis in general). When one says "i dun trust u anymore".... it's really quite bad coz it'll last a long time. I make lousy remarks and lame jokes at times(rarely nowadays but still..) and when i'm being serious, ppl think twice before believing me. THere's of course the other side of me but knowing tt there's the "joker" inside me, i may be trusted more by some and less by most. Trust....

Wateva u do...never break a mama's trust. I broke it once a couple of years back doing sthg mama didnt expect me to do. Though mama seem to have put her trust in me once more, it'll never be the same anymore.

Lousy grades, though expected, still have it's toll on me. Stayed back in skool till 7 trying to undestand organic--manage to do alkane,alkene and arenes. Not much but i'm progressing. It's great to have Hock ard to answer my doubts. But it's even better to know that Hock knows when i nd him and when i need some breathing space. In that span of 4 hours in solitude, i learnt alot. Read this book after skool in the libry abt speedreading and mindmapping. One of the things i learnt is to sit up straight when ure studying. It's also best to study under natural light aka the sun. And natural wind is nice too! And i've learnt to give myself a 10 minutes break after 35-40mins of study. Haha....though i'm alone, i'm glad there's "someone" to keep me company....(yea, tt imaginary special someone)

Quite shagged after today. Gonna see how much i can do till i sleep. Maths test this friday. Gonna prepare for it. Tomorrow--gonna finally see Mdm khoo during my first chem tutorial this week. Haiz.... dunnoe how to explain my results to her. She still wants to see my timetable....and ...haiz....scary. I'm not scared of being scolded and all but it's just that Mdm Khoo is a really nice teacher and seems to me that she knows i can do it if i put in the effort. But with 42 days left, i think i may have sort of disappoint her... but mostly, i may hv sort of disappoint myself. Gonna put it double the effort for chem.

physics paper 2 was badly done. Saded but, i really didnt noe my stuff so wat more can i say? Gonna spot my weakness and seal the leak.

Learnt abit on plumbing today...repairing leaky pipes and leaky toiletbowls. Observed someone do it just now, haha....so roughly noe wat to do. Impt life skills...

On the whole, i was pleased with myself today. Though i kind of wished i hadnt spent my day on an almost empty stomach. Lacked energy to joke or what lah. Can only smile when ppl say things....smile when ppl joke.... hhaha.... simple life. But once at home, my attn span decreased by a lot! haiz... still nursing an empty stomach now. Seem to me tt mama didnt cook anything nice today. Saded... Pray tt i wun get gastric pains...

And it's nice to see the ever so "dunnoe how to describe" Nizar giving me words of encourgagements. It's words like this tt come out from special ppl tt really makes me wanna work hard and give my best. =)

Trust.... if u cant trust me in person, haha.... i guarantee u u can trust everything i say on my blog. Trust me. =)

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