Been sleeping during almost all my lectures lately. Cant help it man..... i need to take short naps in order to survive the whole day. Anw, its not as if i can understand wat they're saying...
Read yesterday's paper this morning--about teachers reading their students blog. Haha...come to think of it, i never really tot about it. Man.... typing words like "Mdm Khoo" or "ali" in the BloggerBar , one is sure to find my blog. Wonder if any of my teachers read my blog? Haha... well.... i dun tink so. Its funny-- u publish ur post for ALL to see but u dun wan ur teacher to read ur entries. The weird world we live in.
Feeling sleepy now--and the night's still young lah. Tmr got Maths test. I still haben eat since 2 just. Hungry-- but not in the mood to eat. I guess i better go eat sthg before i collapse.
And a gentle reminder, this "someone" is nothing but a figment of my imagination. Haha..... ppl like me, where got ppl want one? Yea... she's not real. Period.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
determined
Finally faced Mdm Khoo(chem teacher) today. GOt 25/100 overall. Was kindof ashamed to face her lah. But after hearing what she told me, i feel very very determined to carry on and make up for lost time. Words.... they are one thing i love. Coz they are meant for u and only u. Hearing words from others... from a short hello or a hey....to words of encouragments... to motivational chat... Every single word said to me is like a gift from u....coz they were meant for me and me only (Unless its meant as a cruel joke or what lah..haha...)
WEnta my new den after skool-- the place outside the reading room. Natural light, natural wind.... silence... haha...i slept for an hour there lah...alone.... till Kim and Adib woke me up to say goodbye. DAmn nice the feeling. However, managed to do 1 or 2 mths qn before tt. I was tired. I aint gonna say i wasted time or anything like i used to. I knoe i cant really push myself too much coz there's afterall, 41 days left. I aint gonna exhaust myself too much. I kind of like the short nap i had.
Having read a couple of books abt studying and writing and all in the past, i decided to opt for a "change in environment".... the canteen. When one can't do much in Place A, one should go to other Places like Place B instead. Haha.... different air, different atmosphere... different study moods... Only 2 person in the canteen-- me and some other girl sitting some ten tables away. Did around seven maths question till 615 before i finally went home. Happy wif myself for having accomplished sthg on my own. The learning and discovery of ways to understand some maths concept was really useful to me, and i did it all on my own. There's more stuffs for me to cover....i'll speed things up as the hours go by. SElf-directed learning -- never hv it been so effective. Wished i had done this earlier but-- i hv to admit tt weak humans like me only count on the pressure put on us by time before we really do sthg bout it. WEll wat more can i say.... i'm just lousy.
Straight Fs....finally toked abt my grades on my blog. And it couldnt hv come at a better time huh?
"Along with every hardship is relief" (Quran 94:5). I'm going to go get the grades i want. 41days of hardship? Of which 30 of tis days are days of the fasting month. I simply cant believe my luck-- having to do revision amidst fasting and night prayers and having to wake up early in the morning to eat our meal and reading the quran. Cool... I'm not complaining though. I am in fact really really glad about this! With God close to me, God willing, i'll be able to do good.
One thing i realised is tt my appetite has decreased by alot this past few days. SInce monday, ive been eating very very little! Must be the effect of my results.... the "sparkle" in my eyes have sort of vanished. I hv to say tt it aint nice telling ppl u got straight Fs. I still feel rather disappointed.Though i will not make it make me feel depressed, my feeling's still gloomy nonetheless.
ANd tt "someone" i kept tokin abt... i shall stop tokin abt her frm now on. If u guys hv been guessing who she is, i hope u'll stop wondering.... like really... The more i kp mentioning this someone, or the more u ask me who she is, the less special she'll become. She's special because only i knew about her. But now, as days past and as i keep "sharing" this someone with u guys, the less special this someone has become. Thus, i shall cease to discuss on the topic of "someone" so tt she'll be like the special person she was the day she came into my life.
Well....all in all, nothing much happned in recently. Just the same boring me and the mundane stuffs i engage in. *smiles*
WEnta my new den after skool-- the place outside the reading room. Natural light, natural wind.... silence... haha...i slept for an hour there lah...alone.... till Kim and Adib woke me up to say goodbye. DAmn nice the feeling. However, managed to do 1 or 2 mths qn before tt. I was tired. I aint gonna say i wasted time or anything like i used to. I knoe i cant really push myself too much coz there's afterall, 41 days left. I aint gonna exhaust myself too much. I kind of like the short nap i had.
Having read a couple of books abt studying and writing and all in the past, i decided to opt for a "change in environment".... the canteen. When one can't do much in Place A, one should go to other Places like Place B instead. Haha.... different air, different atmosphere... different study moods... Only 2 person in the canteen-- me and some other girl sitting some ten tables away. Did around seven maths question till 615 before i finally went home. Happy wif myself for having accomplished sthg on my own. The learning and discovery of ways to understand some maths concept was really useful to me, and i did it all on my own. There's more stuffs for me to cover....i'll speed things up as the hours go by. SElf-directed learning -- never hv it been so effective. Wished i had done this earlier but-- i hv to admit tt weak humans like me only count on the pressure put on us by time before we really do sthg bout it. WEll wat more can i say.... i'm just lousy.
Straight Fs....finally toked abt my grades on my blog. And it couldnt hv come at a better time huh?
"Along with every hardship is relief" (Quran 94:5). I'm going to go get the grades i want. 41days of hardship? Of which 30 of tis days are days of the fasting month. I simply cant believe my luck-- having to do revision amidst fasting and night prayers and having to wake up early in the morning to eat our meal and reading the quran. Cool... I'm not complaining though. I am in fact really really glad about this! With God close to me, God willing, i'll be able to do good.
One thing i realised is tt my appetite has decreased by alot this past few days. SInce monday, ive been eating very very little! Must be the effect of my results.... the "sparkle" in my eyes have sort of vanished. I hv to say tt it aint nice telling ppl u got straight Fs. I still feel rather disappointed.Though i will not make it make me feel depressed, my feeling's still gloomy nonetheless.
ANd tt "someone" i kept tokin abt... i shall stop tokin abt her frm now on. If u guys hv been guessing who she is, i hope u'll stop wondering.... like really... The more i kp mentioning this someone, or the more u ask me who she is, the less special she'll become. She's special because only i knew about her. But now, as days past and as i keep "sharing" this someone with u guys, the less special this someone has become. Thus, i shall cease to discuss on the topic of "someone" so tt she'll be like the special person she was the day she came into my life.
Well....all in all, nothing much happned in recently. Just the same boring me and the mundane stuffs i engage in. *smiles*
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
trust
I was thinking abt the concept of "trust" on my way home. Hock....australian... joke... me....someone....girl or guy.... It may seem harmless to the joker, but really, all this makes the joker a slightly less reliable person.(Not u Hock, i'm tokin abt tis in general). When one says "i dun trust u anymore".... it's really quite bad coz it'll last a long time. I make lousy remarks and lame jokes at times(rarely nowadays but still..) and when i'm being serious, ppl think twice before believing me. THere's of course the other side of me but knowing tt there's the "joker" inside me, i may be trusted more by some and less by most. Trust....
Wateva u do...never break a mama's trust. I broke it once a couple of years back doing sthg mama didnt expect me to do. Though mama seem to have put her trust in me once more, it'll never be the same anymore.
Lousy grades, though expected, still have it's toll on me. Stayed back in skool till 7 trying to undestand organic--manage to do alkane,alkene and arenes. Not much but i'm progressing. It's great to have Hock ard to answer my doubts. But it's even better to know that Hock knows when i nd him and when i need some breathing space. In that span of 4 hours in solitude, i learnt alot. Read this book after skool in the libry abt speedreading and mindmapping. One of the things i learnt is to sit up straight when ure studying. It's also best to study under natural light aka the sun. And natural wind is nice too! And i've learnt to give myself a 10 minutes break after 35-40mins of study. Haha....though i'm alone, i'm glad there's "someone" to keep me company....(yea, tt imaginary special someone)
Quite shagged after today. Gonna see how much i can do till i sleep. Maths test this friday. Gonna prepare for it. Tomorrow--gonna finally see Mdm khoo during my first chem tutorial this week. Haiz.... dunnoe how to explain my results to her. She still wants to see my timetable....and ...haiz....scary. I'm not scared of being scolded and all but it's just that Mdm Khoo is a really nice teacher and seems to me that she knows i can do it if i put in the effort. But with 42 days left, i think i may have sort of disappoint her... but mostly, i may hv sort of disappoint myself. Gonna put it double the effort for chem.
physics paper 2 was badly done. Saded but, i really didnt noe my stuff so wat more can i say? Gonna spot my weakness and seal the leak.
Learnt abit on plumbing today...repairing leaky pipes and leaky toiletbowls. Observed someone do it just now, haha....so roughly noe wat to do. Impt life skills...
On the whole, i was pleased with myself today. Though i kind of wished i hadnt spent my day on an almost empty stomach. Lacked energy to joke or what lah. Can only smile when ppl say things....smile when ppl joke.... hhaha.... simple life. But once at home, my attn span decreased by a lot! haiz... still nursing an empty stomach now. Seem to me tt mama didnt cook anything nice today. Saded... Pray tt i wun get gastric pains...
And it's nice to see the ever so "dunnoe how to describe" Nizar giving me words of encourgagements. It's words like this tt come out from special ppl tt really makes me wanna work hard and give my best. =)
Trust.... if u cant trust me in person, haha.... i guarantee u u can trust everything i say on my blog. Trust me. =)
Wateva u do...never break a mama's trust. I broke it once a couple of years back doing sthg mama didnt expect me to do. Though mama seem to have put her trust in me once more, it'll never be the same anymore.
Lousy grades, though expected, still have it's toll on me. Stayed back in skool till 7 trying to undestand organic--manage to do alkane,alkene and arenes. Not much but i'm progressing. It's great to have Hock ard to answer my doubts. But it's even better to know that Hock knows when i nd him and when i need some breathing space. In that span of 4 hours in solitude, i learnt alot. Read this book after skool in the libry abt speedreading and mindmapping. One of the things i learnt is to sit up straight when ure studying. It's also best to study under natural light aka the sun. And natural wind is nice too! And i've learnt to give myself a 10 minutes break after 35-40mins of study. Haha....though i'm alone, i'm glad there's "someone" to keep me company....(yea, tt imaginary special someone)
Quite shagged after today. Gonna see how much i can do till i sleep. Maths test this friday. Gonna prepare for it. Tomorrow--gonna finally see Mdm khoo during my first chem tutorial this week. Haiz.... dunnoe how to explain my results to her. She still wants to see my timetable....and ...haiz....scary. I'm not scared of being scolded and all but it's just that Mdm Khoo is a really nice teacher and seems to me that she knows i can do it if i put in the effort. But with 42 days left, i think i may have sort of disappoint her... but mostly, i may hv sort of disappoint myself. Gonna put it double the effort for chem.
physics paper 2 was badly done. Saded but, i really didnt noe my stuff so wat more can i say? Gonna spot my weakness and seal the leak.
Learnt abit on plumbing today...repairing leaky pipes and leaky toiletbowls. Observed someone do it just now, haha....so roughly noe wat to do. Impt life skills...
On the whole, i was pleased with myself today. Though i kind of wished i hadnt spent my day on an almost empty stomach. Lacked energy to joke or what lah. Can only smile when ppl say things....smile when ppl joke.... hhaha.... simple life. But once at home, my attn span decreased by a lot! haiz... still nursing an empty stomach now. Seem to me tt mama didnt cook anything nice today. Saded... Pray tt i wun get gastric pains...
And it's nice to see the ever so "dunnoe how to describe" Nizar giving me words of encourgagements. It's words like this tt come out from special ppl tt really makes me wanna work hard and give my best. =)
Trust.... if u cant trust me in person, haha.... i guarantee u u can trust everything i say on my blog. Trust me. =)
Monday, September 26, 2005
while stocks last
totalitarian...authoritarian...whicheva it is... i hate this kind of rule man. Mama told us that dad asked one of his fren if he could install a password in this com and that if any one of us wants to use this com, we have to ask for his permission first. If there's such a thing, we're dead. If there isnt, we're dead too coz dad would surely hv a Plan B.
And imagine wat hearing "the computer is meant only for ur studies" over and over again does to me? -- it makes me feel guilty. Yea...online and blog... wah...why cant my family be like other families? No restrictions with how one uses the com-- computer games is definitely a no no in this family... now ALL things besides school also cannot...
damn unhappy bout this man. My blogging days are numbered, really. I guess dad's gonna pull the plug one of these days. Enjoy my entries while they last.
As for me, i shall enjoy the company of my frens online while they last. So sad lah, to think tt the internet is my main medium for communication ..... and it is the thing tt will be taken away from me. It would be one thing to have a handphone but the thing about having a phone is the money needed to sustain it lah.... cant even afford 2 nuggets on my Mee Rebus still can dream of having the elusive phone.haiz.... How i wish i have a laptop or sthg. But dennagain, i have a feeling that internet connection will be cut too since the $47.90 we're paying now will go back to its usual price of $50++ come december and that it is apparent to our parents tt we're using the com more for play than work. Well....$50 a month for "play" is a lot.But how often do we get to use it to do purely school work? Anw,my dad's not getting any younger and me and my siblings still hav a long way to go in terms of schooling. Thus making it quite reasonable to have such "unreasonable" rule in my family.
But amidst all these negativities, i can still be happy thx to one thing -- my special someone. Hope i dun sound crazy or anything ya? *smiles*
And imagine wat hearing "the computer is meant only for ur studies" over and over again does to me? -- it makes me feel guilty. Yea...online and blog... wah...why cant my family be like other families? No restrictions with how one uses the com-- computer games is definitely a no no in this family... now ALL things besides school also cannot...
damn unhappy bout this man. My blogging days are numbered, really. I guess dad's gonna pull the plug one of these days. Enjoy my entries while they last.
As for me, i shall enjoy the company of my frens online while they last. So sad lah, to think tt the internet is my main medium for communication ..... and it is the thing tt will be taken away from me. It would be one thing to have a handphone but the thing about having a phone is the money needed to sustain it lah.... cant even afford 2 nuggets on my Mee Rebus still can dream of having the elusive phone.haiz.... How i wish i have a laptop or sthg. But dennagain, i have a feeling that internet connection will be cut too since the $47.90 we're paying now will go back to its usual price of $50++ come december and that it is apparent to our parents tt we're using the com more for play than work. Well....$50 a month for "play" is a lot.But how often do we get to use it to do purely school work? Anw,my dad's not getting any younger and me and my siblings still hav a long way to go in terms of schooling. Thus making it quite reasonable to have such "unreasonable" rule in my family.
But amidst all these negativities, i can still be happy thx to one thing -- my special someone. Hope i dun sound crazy or anything ya? *smiles*
speechless...
(after 15minutes of typing and backspacing,i finally knew wats wrong wif me)....
....i'm not in the mood to talk to others for the time being. Dunoe for how long but......shall sit in this dark haven of mine pondering and thinking abt everything before i start work.
(after more typing and deleting)
hmm...finally found my blogging touch. SO shall finally talk. So much for a break frm blogging huh? Mere 24hours. Well what to do? Blogging is the ONLY way i can talk about anything to anyone. well, i guess not the ONLY way... there's ONe other avenue tt i can turn to to talk abt anything as well...anything except abt the "someone"..
First, the "someone" tt kept appearing on my msn nick and my previous entry had caught a fair bit of attn. But just hold on for a sec and wonder.... "could this depressed blogger be telling the untruth? COuld he hav simply made this "someone" up to attract attn?" haha.....well i guess u guys no better. No point for me to confuse u guys. But only i will noe who this "someone" is. Not even u will noe who tis someone is. Haha... maybe i'll tok abt it when i finally feel like opening up? haha... but till den, dun bother asking me who it is. Anw, with so many things to ponder about these days like my miserable grades.... with me feeling down and alone all the time, it would be stupid of me to try not to think about this person. Coz thinking about it simply breaks the monotony of my life. *smiles*
Shall end wif a smile. how's my school day today? Shall keep that feeling hidden from the world. I noe tt if i type about it, the more i'll feel depressed about it. Some feelings should simply be kept inside me instead of making it public.I simply hope tt it'll fade away with time.
*smiles*...till the day i find tt very(X dunnoe how many) special someone, this "someone" shall be my imaginary special someone, cheering me up when i'm feeling down, being there beside me when i'm feeling lonely... and stuffs like dat.......=)
....i'm not in the mood to talk to others for the time being. Dunoe for how long but......shall sit in this dark haven of mine pondering and thinking abt everything before i start work.
(after more typing and deleting)
hmm...finally found my blogging touch. SO shall finally talk. So much for a break frm blogging huh? Mere 24hours. Well what to do? Blogging is the ONLY way i can talk about anything to anyone. well, i guess not the ONLY way... there's ONe other avenue tt i can turn to to talk abt anything as well...anything except abt the "someone"..
First, the "someone" tt kept appearing on my msn nick and my previous entry had caught a fair bit of attn. But just hold on for a sec and wonder.... "could this depressed blogger be telling the untruth? COuld he hav simply made this "someone" up to attract attn?" haha.....well i guess u guys no better. No point for me to confuse u guys. But only i will noe who this "someone" is. Not even u will noe who tis someone is. Haha... maybe i'll tok abt it when i finally feel like opening up? haha... but till den, dun bother asking me who it is. Anw, with so many things to ponder about these days like my miserable grades.... with me feeling down and alone all the time, it would be stupid of me to try not to think about this person. Coz thinking about it simply breaks the monotony of my life. *smiles*
Shall end wif a smile. how's my school day today? Shall keep that feeling hidden from the world. I noe tt if i type about it, the more i'll feel depressed about it. Some feelings should simply be kept inside me instead of making it public.I simply hope tt it'll fade away with time.
*smiles*...till the day i find tt very(X dunnoe how many) special someone, this "someone" shall be my imaginary special someone, cheering me up when i'm feeling down, being there beside me when i'm feeling lonely... and stuffs like dat.......=)
Saturday, September 24, 2005
....finally..... (with added stuffs)
On Hiatus
..................Dun miss me =)
-marzuki-
I need help. There's this person that have been taking too much of my fairly limited memory space. And it has been for quite some time now. Is there anything i can do to take this person off my mind during these 45 days? haha....... i just need to think about something else besides this person--like skool for instance. I really really do.....This person can come back into my dreams after the As...haha... Help me ya?... Tag wat u tink i can do. Or wheter u tink there's nothing i can do. =)
hahahahaaha....
wanted to copy and paste the lyrics only skali got song oso sia... hahaa...
Had this dream yesterday night. I mustve kept thinking about it over and over again lah. haha.... haiz....can see inside my dreams oso can lah...haha..
kk.... after a while, u all sure get sick of the song one. haha.... so till i post enough posts, u have to either endure or switch off ur speakers for a while ;)
Haha....the hiatus i was talking about a few days ago.... i think i'll start today.
Had this dream yesterday night. I mustve kept thinking about it over and over again lah. haha.... haiz....can see inside my dreams oso can lah...haha..
kk.... after a while, u all sure get sick of the song one. haha.... so till i post enough posts, u have to either endure or switch off ur speakers for a while ;)
Haha....the hiatus i was talking about a few days ago.... i think i'll start today.
Dreams
All I Have To Do Is Dream
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream
When I want you in my arms
When I want you and all your charms
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream
When I feel blue in the night
And I need you to hold me tight
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam
I can make you mine, taste your lips of wine
Anytime night or day
Only trouble is, gee whiz
I’m dreamin’ my life away
I need you so that I could die
I love you so and that is why
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam
I can make you mine, taste your lips of wine
Anytime night or day
Only trouble is, gee whiz
I’m dreamin’ my life away
I need you so that I could die
I love you so and that is why
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream
Haha....so sweet....
Friday, September 23, 2005
The shower
When ure feeling really angry, u shuldnt get too carried away with it. I suggest taking a cold shower. Lemme sort some things out here. Haha.... (a 10 minutes shower makes a whole world of diff)
Yes i was super angry at my sis, but that was half an hour ago. No longer am now. Cmon, i m her BIG BROTHER man..... how could i throw my sister out onto the streets. How could i not cry if she doesnt come home? How could i not shed a tear if the police come knocking on my door telling us she's dead? She is,afterall, my one and only sister.
Well, during arguments and fights, or when one is simply angry, most tend to say things that they dun really want to. People tend to say whatever they feel like saying but they dun really mean what they say. Like when i said that if she doesnt care about the people at home, why must we Fcare(btw, the F was a typo) about her? Cmon.... u and i noe that i dun mean it. How could family not care about one another? How could family be mad with one another? This sort of things only happen among ur friends.... never in ur family.
WEll i do care about who she goes out with.... and it better not be a guy. I do care if she come home late. What in the world could she be doing in school? Study? With her FRIENDS? Haiz.... its so hard managing my sister man..... mama's so tired of controlling her.... she told my sis that she'll have a one to one chat with my dad later and that if she wants freedom, then she could tell him that later.
Hopefully my child wun be like her, if i do meet the very(X12 or isit 13) special someone that is. It'll be hard taking care of someone like her. But with the experience i have..... haha.... i think i can even take care of Dennis the Menace. And guys, i was super dooper angry half an hour ago.... but not now =)
And the "or else..." part, haha.... i was being melodramatic......
THE MORAL OF THE STORY: When someone's angry, dun take the things tt he or she says to heart. 99% he or she doesnt mean it. The other 1%.....haha...... what ever he or she says is the truth. Heh.... but he or she didnt mean to say it in front of u. And when URE angry at someone, scold and scream and shout all u want(Writing ur feelings down would be nice). Then take a 10 minutes cold shower and everything will be fine. Trust me.
Yes i was super angry at my sis, but that was half an hour ago. No longer am now. Cmon, i m her BIG BROTHER man..... how could i throw my sister out onto the streets. How could i not cry if she doesnt come home? How could i not shed a tear if the police come knocking on my door telling us she's dead? She is,afterall, my one and only sister.
Well, during arguments and fights, or when one is simply angry, most tend to say things that they dun really want to. People tend to say whatever they feel like saying but they dun really mean what they say. Like when i said that if she doesnt care about the people at home, why must we Fcare(btw, the F was a typo) about her? Cmon.... u and i noe that i dun mean it. How could family not care about one another? How could family be mad with one another? This sort of things only happen among ur friends.... never in ur family.
WEll i do care about who she goes out with.... and it better not be a guy. I do care if she come home late. What in the world could she be doing in school? Study? With her FRIENDS? Haiz.... its so hard managing my sister man..... mama's so tired of controlling her.... she told my sis that she'll have a one to one chat with my dad later and that if she wants freedom, then she could tell him that later.
Hopefully my child wun be like her, if i do meet the very(X12 or isit 13) special someone that is. It'll be hard taking care of someone like her. But with the experience i have..... haha.... i think i can even take care of Dennis the Menace. And guys, i was super dooper angry half an hour ago.... but not now =)
And the "or else..." part, haha.... i was being melodramatic......
THE MORAL OF THE STORY: When someone's angry, dun take the things tt he or she says to heart. 99% he or she doesnt mean it. The other 1%.....haha...... what ever he or she says is the truth. Heh.... but he or she didnt mean to say it in front of u. And when URE angry at someone, scold and scream and shout all u want(Writing ur feelings down would be nice). Then take a 10 minutes cold shower and everything will be fine. Trust me.
Me and my big mouth
My sis wanted to go out with her friends and TOLD my mum she wanted to go out. Mama went blah blah blah and in my heart, i knew she'll surely let my sis go. Tts when i opened my big mouth and said that its my mama's fault that my sis keeps wanting to go out with her friends. Coz everytime my sis TELLS my mum she wants to go out, mama will like tok and tok and tok but eventually let my sis go.
So mama told my sis..."Heard wat ur brother said?".... "Do u understand wat ur brother is trying to say?"
And she said no... and acting dumb...., she finally ASKed mama if she could go.... Mama asked her again, do u understand what ur brother is saying? Den my sister said, "can or cannot?" ANd mama went "NO." And my sis stormed back into my room..... hmph! Everytime if my mama let her go out, she'll be like so happy and ACT nice but when mum doesnt allow her to, she shows her freakin attitude to the whole world. And i wanted to use my room to study and she rather rudely ignore my telling her to get out-- pretending not to hear me coz she was wearing the headphone. One hell of a kid man..... freakin tired of it. Must be the LOUSY friends she hav in skool! What kind of influence are they having on my sister? Recently sis been rude to mama and grandma and now me..... cant take it no more! She's gonna get it from me if she pushes me over the edge man. WHo cares if she's a girl? She's MY sister.... and FREAKIN ATTITUDE and RUDENESS shall cease to exist in MY family. I'm the BIG BROTHER in this family... if mum and dad are not doing something about her attitude..... i will.
ANd from now on, I am not going to care anymore. What she's doing in school till late at night everyday i aint going to care... who she hangs out with? TO hell with it! SHe can go out wherever she wants whenever she wants with whoever she wants for all i care! I'm not even going to cry if she doesnt come home! I'm not even going to shed a single tear if the police comes knocking at my door in the middle of the night telling us that they found my sister dead some where in her school or dead in a motorcycle accident or watever! WHO CARES!!!!
If she doesnt care about the people at home, why should we Fcare about her!?? Let her FRIENDS send her off. Let her FRIENDS arrange her funeral.... i aint gonna give a damn about it man...... SHe's gone too far..... BACK to SQUARE 1...... WHO CARES?! For once, i'm stepping of the square and am not going to bother bout it..... She wants to show that she's boss... let her be... and if mum and dad fail to get her under control before they leave this world, i'm gonna throw her out into the streets and shall live life as though i NEVER had a sister!
Never have i seen such attitude in any of the people i noe. Maybe the sample of people i noe is too small.... i guess that's the beauty of not knowing much. See the difference....?
FRIENDS vs FAMILY !!!!
Super dooper pissed off..... i may have broken ur record but hey, what's the point right? I tot the problem lies with me.... I WAS WRONG! Its not! The problem lies with her and HER circle of FRIENDS! She better not get in my way anymore man..... or else, she'll die i tell u..... she'll die....
-**the statement that shuld have never been here**-
So mama told my sis..."Heard wat ur brother said?".... "Do u understand wat ur brother is trying to say?"
And she said no... and acting dumb...., she finally ASKed mama if she could go.... Mama asked her again, do u understand what ur brother is saying? Den my sister said, "can or cannot?" ANd mama went "NO." And my sis stormed back into my room..... hmph! Everytime if my mama let her go out, she'll be like so happy and ACT nice but when mum doesnt allow her to, she shows her freakin attitude to the whole world. And i wanted to use my room to study and she rather rudely ignore my telling her to get out-- pretending not to hear me coz she was wearing the headphone. One hell of a kid man..... freakin tired of it. Must be the LOUSY friends she hav in skool! What kind of influence are they having on my sister? Recently sis been rude to mama and grandma and now me..... cant take it no more! She's gonna get it from me if she pushes me over the edge man. WHo cares if she's a girl? She's MY sister.... and FREAKIN ATTITUDE and RUDENESS shall cease to exist in MY family. I'm the BIG BROTHER in this family... if mum and dad are not doing something about her attitude..... i will.
ANd from now on, I am not going to care anymore. What she's doing in school till late at night everyday i aint going to care... who she hangs out with? TO hell with it! SHe can go out wherever she wants whenever she wants with whoever she wants for all i care! I'm not even going to cry if she doesnt come home! I'm not even going to shed a single tear if the police comes knocking at my door in the middle of the night telling us that they found my sister dead some where in her school or dead in a motorcycle accident or watever! WHO CARES!!!!
If she doesnt care about the people at home, why should we Fcare about her!?? Let her FRIENDS send her off. Let her FRIENDS arrange her funeral.... i aint gonna give a damn about it man...... SHe's gone too far..... BACK to SQUARE 1...... WHO CARES?! For once, i'm stepping of the square and am not going to bother bout it..... She wants to show that she's boss... let her be... and if mum and dad fail to get her under control before they leave this world, i'm gonna throw her out into the streets and shall live life as though i NEVER had a sister!
Never have i seen such attitude in any of the people i noe. Maybe the sample of people i noe is too small.... i guess that's the beauty of not knowing much. See the difference....?
FRIENDS vs FAMILY !!!!
Super dooper pissed off..... i may have broken ur record but hey, what's the point right? I tot the problem lies with me.... I WAS WRONG! Its not! The problem lies with her and HER circle of FRIENDS! She better not get in my way anymore man..... or else, she'll die i tell u..... she'll die....
-**the statement that shuld have never been here**-
An introduction to the science of hadith
...and with that, i shall also start introducing myself to the science of Man -- Physics and Chemistry.
I'm particularly amazed at how a hadith is rated. How a hadith is either accepted or rejected. The long and tedious and careful and strict process of it all.... And my keen interest in finding out, trying to seek answers on my own amazes even my own self...
...shall apply my new found ability to the Sciences of Man... find out why e=mc^2 or why i cant seem to grasp concepts pertaining to magnets and radioactivity. Or why i have to use this reagents under that conditions in order to undergo this reaction....
I think i am more or less prepared to start linking and visualising concepts in my mind. My mind has truly widened during the past 48hrs in solitude within the confines of the four corners of my room. And i shall fill up the empty spaces in my brain with knowledge that i need for the As.
.."the People of Knowledge"..... i want to be like one...
I'm particularly amazed at how a hadith is rated. How a hadith is either accepted or rejected. The long and tedious and careful and strict process of it all.... And my keen interest in finding out, trying to seek answers on my own amazes even my own self...
...shall apply my new found ability to the Sciences of Man... find out why e=mc^2 or why i cant seem to grasp concepts pertaining to magnets and radioactivity. Or why i have to use this reagents under that conditions in order to undergo this reaction....
I think i am more or less prepared to start linking and visualising concepts in my mind. My mind has truly widened during the past 48hrs in solitude within the confines of the four corners of my room. And i shall fill up the empty spaces in my brain with knowledge that i need for the As.
.."the People of Knowledge"..... i want to be like one...
a new day...
24hours of religious studies should be more than enough for now. Just have to add that the process of finding out and seeking answers is so damn shiok!!
Heard about Hurricane Rita..... muahaha.....The people of Noah werent spared. So were the people of Hud and Lot. And now, the people of the world's most powerful nation...shant say more for fear of creating tensions..
Shall go read the "Handbook for bloggers and cyber-dissidents". Heh.... finally a book on ethics which bloggers ought to possess. zzz.... been a good day today. Life within the four walls of ur home is certainly the best.
Haha..... peace..
Heard about Hurricane Rita..... muahaha.....The people of Noah werent spared. So were the people of Hud and Lot. And now, the people of the world's most powerful nation...shant say more for fear of creating tensions..
Shall go read the "Handbook for bloggers and cyber-dissidents". Heh.... finally a book on ethics which bloggers ought to possess. zzz.... been a good day today. Life within the four walls of ur home is certainly the best.
Haha..... peace..
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Apologies....
My profound apologies to people who dun have a clue as to what today's entries mean. Not that all this doesnt concerns you. Not just yet.
This concerns everyone. THe "Sign of the day of judgement" concerns everyone.
This is what Ali does when he locks himself up in his room all day like today. Woke up at 6.00 today. Bathed and prayed and read the Book. Went online to seek food for my curious mind....saw a site where i can download books from. THOSE kind of books. Doubts and questions were the things which made me really disturbed. Ate little for breakfast at 10.00. After which i went back to my room to read more. Took a short prayer break at 1.00. And slept till 5. Bathed and eat. And locked myself in my room again till now, reading and learning about stuffs.
Simple day huh? Well... my kind of life. The side of me u didnt noe about. Until now....
That's why going to the movies(even though just once) is such a "scary" thing for me to do. My day is more or less the same everyday-- the Book, prayers, and school. Having to step out of my house is one of the things i rarely do on off days like today, what more going to the movies and so on. Btw, i read a fatwa of a shaikh this morning: "There is no doubt today that television is haraam(forbidden). Today, ninety-nine percent of what is on television is evil, licentious, immoral,forbidden, and so on, while one percent of it has some shows presented that are of benefit to some people."
In islam, there's the halal which everyone noes about and theres also the haraam(aka the not halal). To put it briefly, doing things which are haraam = sinning. Thus, to watch or not to watch. What do u think?
In the movies, u see people doing all sorts of things wearing all sorts of things.... its a battle i m fighting, my desires vs the promise of heaven, the wrath of hell. My choice: the latter. But u noe the Devil.... sometimes even i sucumb to desires.
Well, my point being, the actual reason why i dun do some stuffs like going to the movies and so on isnt as simple as u and i think. Theres levels of thoughts being put into it.
And haha.... i find it odd.... trying to expl to u why i dun go to the movies.
But let's put it this way. U are promised paradise if u do the things u are told to do and avoid doing things that u arent allowed to do-- as simple as that. Will u STILL do the things u NOE u musnt do?
and before i end today's series of entries, i really have to apologise if i may have offended any of u guys. And sorry if today's entries seem WAY off tangent with any other previous entries of mine.
This concerns everyone. THe "Sign of the day of judgement" concerns everyone.
This is what Ali does when he locks himself up in his room all day like today. Woke up at 6.00 today. Bathed and prayed and read the Book. Went online to seek food for my curious mind....saw a site where i can download books from. THOSE kind of books. Doubts and questions were the things which made me really disturbed. Ate little for breakfast at 10.00. After which i went back to my room to read more. Took a short prayer break at 1.00. And slept till 5. Bathed and eat. And locked myself in my room again till now, reading and learning about stuffs.
Simple day huh? Well... my kind of life. The side of me u didnt noe about. Until now....
That's why going to the movies(even though just once) is such a "scary" thing for me to do. My day is more or less the same everyday-- the Book, prayers, and school. Having to step out of my house is one of the things i rarely do on off days like today, what more going to the movies and so on. Btw, i read a fatwa of a shaikh this morning: "There is no doubt today that television is haraam(forbidden). Today, ninety-nine percent of what is on television is evil, licentious, immoral,forbidden, and so on, while one percent of it has some shows presented that are of benefit to some people."
In islam, there's the halal which everyone noes about and theres also the haraam(aka the not halal). To put it briefly, doing things which are haraam = sinning. Thus, to watch or not to watch. What do u think?
In the movies, u see people doing all sorts of things wearing all sorts of things.... its a battle i m fighting, my desires vs the promise of heaven, the wrath of hell. My choice: the latter. But u noe the Devil.... sometimes even i sucumb to desires.
Well, my point being, the actual reason why i dun do some stuffs like going to the movies and so on isnt as simple as u and i think. Theres levels of thoughts being put into it.
And haha.... i find it odd.... trying to expl to u why i dun go to the movies.
But let's put it this way. U are promised paradise if u do the things u are told to do and avoid doing things that u arent allowed to do-- as simple as that. Will u STILL do the things u NOE u musnt do?
and before i end today's series of entries, i really have to apologise if i may have offended any of u guys. And sorry if today's entries seem WAY off tangent with any other previous entries of mine.
Salafi
Having read so many articles in one day, my view on my religion has really widened. But having said that, one cant learn much on his own. He needs a teacher.....
"Even the most perfect athlete will look for a trainer when he prepares to climb a high mountain. A big factory employs master workmen and foremen, as well as engineers. A worker who begins to work in such a factory learns the basic aspects of his job first from this master workman and then from his foreman. If he tries to see the chief engineer before learning them, he will not understand anything from the engineer's words and calculations. Even the best gun expert cannot correctly use a new gun given to him unless he is first taught how to use it." Right shak?
looking at people within Islam "shooting" one another....i find it rather disturbing. I know that such things existed but I never really got myself "involved" in such things knowing that such things weren't meant for kids like me. That such things werent of great concern to kids like me. Well i aint a kid no more. No matter how much i wanna stay 6, 10 or 17 all my life, i noe i cant. Hence the change in me(for the first time,i'm accepting the transition!).
I dun find it disturbing to see islam "shooting" other religions as mentioned in my September 6 entry. But i find it hard to accept differences in views within the same religion. The 4 mazhabs....the 4 imams....
Which mazhabs did the imams belong to? They were Salafis. The Salafis view the first three generations of Muslims, who are the prophet Muhammad's companions, and the two succeding generations after them, the Taba'een and the taba Tabe'een as perfect examples of how Islam should be practiced in everyday life. These three generations are often referred to as the Pious generations. This principle of law is derived from the following hadith (tradition) stated by the Prophet Muhammad: "The best of people is my generation, then those who come after them, then those who come after them (i.e. the first three generations of Muslims)." (Reported by Bukhari and Muslim b. al-Hajjaj).
Was really intrigued by what i've learned the whole of today. Shant spend too much time on this though. Answers will come to me in time to come,God willing. In the mean time, better focus on my As.
And btw, my consolation prize for today:
The most infamous Salafi is Osama Bin Laden. =)
"Even the most perfect athlete will look for a trainer when he prepares to climb a high mountain. A big factory employs master workmen and foremen, as well as engineers. A worker who begins to work in such a factory learns the basic aspects of his job first from this master workman and then from his foreman. If he tries to see the chief engineer before learning them, he will not understand anything from the engineer's words and calculations. Even the best gun expert cannot correctly use a new gun given to him unless he is first taught how to use it." Right shak?
looking at people within Islam "shooting" one another....i find it rather disturbing. I know that such things existed but I never really got myself "involved" in such things knowing that such things weren't meant for kids like me. That such things werent of great concern to kids like me. Well i aint a kid no more. No matter how much i wanna stay 6, 10 or 17 all my life, i noe i cant. Hence the change in me(for the first time,i'm accepting the transition!).
I dun find it disturbing to see islam "shooting" other religions as mentioned in my September 6 entry. But i find it hard to accept differences in views within the same religion. The 4 mazhabs....the 4 imams....
Which mazhabs did the imams belong to? They were Salafis. The Salafis view the first three generations of Muslims, who are the prophet Muhammad's companions, and the two succeding generations after them, the Taba'een and the taba Tabe'een as perfect examples of how Islam should be practiced in everyday life. These three generations are often referred to as the Pious generations. This principle of law is derived from the following hadith (tradition) stated by the Prophet Muhammad: "The best of people is my generation, then those who come after them, then those who come after them (i.e. the first three generations of Muslims)." (Reported by Bukhari and Muslim b. al-Hajjaj).
Was really intrigued by what i've learned the whole of today. Shant spend too much time on this though. Answers will come to me in time to come,God willing. In the mean time, better focus on my As.
And btw, my consolation prize for today:
The most infamous Salafi is Osama Bin Laden. =)
Disturbed
Contradictions within the same faith-- i find this preety disturbing. Shant go into details yet coz i hv yet to clarify this with my teacher. Who's telling the truth and who's not? How can normal people like u and i tell the difference? Which one is the right one and which one is the wrong one?
-disturbed-
Been reading so many stuffs i found thru google. Cant really seperate the truth from the lies. So many questions that i need answers to....
-perturbed-
So to my muslim friends out there, do u think u noe everything u need to noe about ur religion? If u dun, are u doing anything to find out more? Is there a need to find out more? Or am i simply worried about something i shouldnt be worried about?
The truth..... never have i been so concerned about finding the truth.
-disturbed-
Been reading so many stuffs i found thru google. Cant really seperate the truth from the lies. So many questions that i need answers to....
-perturbed-
So to my muslim friends out there, do u think u noe everything u need to noe about ur religion? If u dun, are u doing anything to find out more? Is there a need to find out more? Or am i simply worried about something i shouldnt be worried about?
The truth..... never have i been so concerned about finding the truth.
The Signs before the Day of Judgement
Spent my early morning reading books i found on the net.
"The Signs before the Day of Judgement" is one good book. Shall share with u guys the content of it some other time =) Gtg eat and do school work.
"The Signs before the Day of Judgement" is one good book. Shall share with u guys the content of it some other time =) Gtg eat and do school work.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Great day... great game... break's over
Physics was doable though my kind of doable is very different from ur kind of doable. If i really read and write for the full 2.5hrs paper means its doable. Though it was really a waste i didnt do much ytd.
Hanged with different group of real people. And i learned a new word... "Yoshi".. haha...i tot it was some character from Ninja Turtle lah! Only to find out later its some jap fast food outlet. Haiz.... ytd was bad... once i reached home, i didnt do ANY physics... slept at 11 and woke up at 6. Set my alarm at 3 but woke up only to shut that thing up. Yea, i learned that i'm not the night kind of guy.
Anw today was a good day. Played soccer after physics. weather was so fine though it was ard 11. Made myself look like a fool chasing after the ball... not passing correctly... shooting way off target....shouting alot at my teammates... showing frustrations when they miss(as if i can do better).. heh.... but i was so high that i didnt care. Too stressed so am making full use of the session to destress. Kim...can see he a bit(maybe alot) pissed off with me coz i kept taking my time to pass the ball. Call it confidence(HAHA)... well i was high... but yea.. most of the time i simply gave away the ball just like that sure make people angry one. Haaha... but actually rite, i really think i did great! Scored 3-- one is thru HEADER!!! haha...power... can score more but even though i'm high, i must remember that its a team game... so must assist abit.*woohoo* (must praise myself abit, still very the high)...
well...gonna go bathe and start with my physics....shall clear up lots of stuffs by saturday so i can start asking hock questions when school resumes. Woohoo!! So happy=) Shall stop playing soccer already. i dun wan to end my "soccer days" playing like shit or sitting outside the court more than playing inside it or getting scolded more than i scold ppl. Haha...today was damn shiok for me... still happy lah...
...some more play lots of games never cramp....! =)
Hanged with different group of real people. And i learned a new word... "Yoshi".. haha...i tot it was some character from Ninja Turtle lah! Only to find out later its some jap fast food outlet. Haiz.... ytd was bad... once i reached home, i didnt do ANY physics... slept at 11 and woke up at 6. Set my alarm at 3 but woke up only to shut that thing up. Yea, i learned that i'm not the night kind of guy.
Anw today was a good day. Played soccer after physics. weather was so fine though it was ard 11. Made myself look like a fool chasing after the ball... not passing correctly... shooting way off target....shouting alot at my teammates... showing frustrations when they miss(as if i can do better).. heh.... but i was so high that i didnt care. Too stressed so am making full use of the session to destress. Kim...can see he a bit(maybe alot) pissed off with me coz i kept taking my time to pass the ball. Call it confidence(HAHA)... well i was high... but yea.. most of the time i simply gave away the ball just like that sure make people angry one. Haaha... but actually rite, i really think i did great! Scored 3-- one is thru HEADER!!! haha...power... can score more but even though i'm high, i must remember that its a team game... so must assist abit.*woohoo* (must praise myself abit, still very the high)...
well...gonna go bathe and start with my physics....shall clear up lots of stuffs by saturday so i can start asking hock questions when school resumes. Woohoo!! So happy=) Shall stop playing soccer already. i dun wan to end my "soccer days" playing like shit or sitting outside the court more than playing inside it or getting scolded more than i scold ppl. Haha...today was damn shiok for me... still happy lah...
...some more play lots of games never cramp....! =)
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Tears
not from me but from my grandma. She went into my room, closed the door and told me she feeling very hurt. Coz she heard me and mama fight yesterday and she said she never hear anyone fight liddat before. And i very the sad oso lah Coz the part when my mama ask me where i want to go, i told her my grandma house can oso... den i shouted across to my grandma's room..."can or not grandma? U wanna go back? I'll follow u.."
man... grandma cried...never see her cry before lah. And the fite was yesterday! And she still cries thinking abt it. Tts how hurt she feels. Tts how hurt i feel too.. And all that becoz of her grandson. kk.... i noe i shuldnt have gotten into that arguement with my mama... and i knew i shuldnt hav shouted at anyone nor whacked anyone .... but....
i did cry a few times too lah. coz i was so so so wrong. And i'm sure mama cried too coz she always does when i...I push her over the edge. And i noe my youngest bro cried..made so many ppl cry. Just becoz of me-- stress, depressed, exams and school. Well i noe i shuld vent frustrations elsewhere.... but if not to frens then to who? To ppl at home lah! BUt i NOE its wrong.... but u cant stop a temporarily unstable person from doing things can u.
U cant do much when ure alone. U can comfort urself all u want. U can write all u want. BUt at the end of the day, sadly,....my frustrations hv to go to somewhere doesnt it?
The other side of me u guys wun noe. But hey, i dun mind telling stuffs like this. Long time never tell stuffs to anyone.... so why not do it here.... its nice walking ard knowing that more ppl noe more abt u....even though by doing this, i'm condemning myself to being single all my life..
-Still cant believe i made grandma cried. Maybe she cant believe that she'll live to the day when I, the grandson she raised, was shown the way out by my beloved mama, the women she raised-
Cried too much that i can cry no more..
man... grandma cried...never see her cry before lah. And the fite was yesterday! And she still cries thinking abt it. Tts how hurt she feels. Tts how hurt i feel too.. And all that becoz of her grandson. kk.... i noe i shuldnt have gotten into that arguement with my mama... and i knew i shuldnt hav shouted at anyone nor whacked anyone .... but....
i did cry a few times too lah. coz i was so so so wrong. And i'm sure mama cried too coz she always does when i...I push her over the edge. And i noe my youngest bro cried..made so many ppl cry. Just becoz of me-- stress, depressed, exams and school. Well i noe i shuld vent frustrations elsewhere.... but if not to frens then to who? To ppl at home lah! BUt i NOE its wrong.... but u cant stop a temporarily unstable person from doing things can u.
U cant do much when ure alone. U can comfort urself all u want. U can write all u want. BUt at the end of the day, sadly,....my frustrations hv to go to somewhere doesnt it?
The other side of me u guys wun noe. But hey, i dun mind telling stuffs like this. Long time never tell stuffs to anyone.... so why not do it here.... its nice walking ard knowing that more ppl noe more abt u....even though by doing this, i'm condemning myself to being single all my life..
-Still cant believe i made grandma cried. Maybe she cant believe that she'll live to the day when I, the grandson she raised, was shown the way out by my beloved mama, the women she raised-
Cried too much that i can cry no more..
false front?
...mere act?...pretence? I predicted that this 3 days could break me....new cracks emerged... this aint good..
I'm lost.
Anw,am not gonna start all over again-- and "whine".I learnt from last week's episode that guys dun whine evn tho is nice to whine once in a while. But really, i cannot tahan much longer.
told mama i dunnoe wat to do if this goes on[btw, me and mama--it was as if ytd never happened=) ]. i really dunnoe wat to do. ANd she asked me my other members(nizar and tauhid) all how... and i said they're doing good. And she said, how come they can u cannot? And i said... different ppl different. I'm slower. Too slow. And i AM NOT goin to say i'm dumb or stupid or am not cut for this sort of thing. I repeat, i AM NOT goin to say i'm dumb or stupid or am not cut for this sort of thing.
movie? One day only? I haben been treating exam-days like exam-days. No reason to celebrate or "destress".... haiz... *excuses excuses huh?* Or lets just say i aint ready to break the norm just yet. Its true tt there's always a first time but first times are always hard. maybe once b4 year end?.... but dennagain, hav the feeling tt tt dae'll never come... =(
some part of me are simply hard to change.
I'm lost.
Anw,am not gonna start all over again-- and "whine".I learnt from last week's episode that guys dun whine evn tho is nice to whine once in a while. But really, i cannot tahan much longer.
told mama i dunnoe wat to do if this goes on[btw, me and mama--it was as if ytd never happened=) ]. i really dunnoe wat to do. ANd she asked me my other members(nizar and tauhid) all how... and i said they're doing good. And she said, how come they can u cannot? And i said... different ppl different. I'm slower. Too slow. And i AM NOT goin to say i'm dumb or stupid or am not cut for this sort of thing. I repeat, i AM NOT goin to say i'm dumb or stupid or am not cut for this sort of thing.
movie? One day only? I haben been treating exam-days like exam-days. No reason to celebrate or "destress".... haiz... *excuses excuses huh?* Or lets just say i aint ready to break the norm just yet. Its true tt there's always a first time but first times are always hard. maybe once b4 year end?.... but dennagain, hav the feeling tt tt dae'll never come... =(
some part of me are simply hard to change.
Monday, September 19, 2005
THE MOST stoopidEST..
....thing to do is to be fighting with ur mama. My bro was rude to me so i decided to do unto him wat was done unto me when i was a child.
Still feeling jealous that my bros werent given the "treatment" tt my parents, esp my dad, gave me when i was young. Which made me soooo scared to do anything w/o my parents permission. Which made me respect my elders. Which results in me and my old fashioned values. Anws, i may hv gone overboard lah and mama shouted back...... and then she said sthg abt make sure during fasting month we all dont giv her problems or else...
....it was here when i muttered 'liddat fasting month i dun stay at home better lah" and she "exploded" here. Asking where i want to go and all that. tt Now tt my sister giving her problems i oso want to give her problems blah blah blah.... den she said abt go lah.... no need wait for fasting month oso can go....super irritated lah. Anyone got room to spare? Haha.... but till how long? dats why i say getting into a fite wif ur mama is THE MOST stooopidEST thing to do. Anw, i the way i behave and the things i say all DAMN similar to my mum lah. All inherited from her one. Still want to blame me.
anw, wun be dumb enuff to run away lah. Where to get pocket money all? Where to sleep? and like i said, for how long?
worst come to worst i'll hang in skool till late. but dennagain, if i dun go home early, my bros will use the opportunity to watch tv and slack. haiz.... i dun care! Now i go home early. After PSLE, i start going home late. alamak...but by then fasting month liao... cannot go home late... -annoyed!-
i was ALMOST ALMOST tempted to tell my mama that this kind of time is the right time for one to commit suicide....but i didnt.....was super dooper annoyed lah... coz its been a long long time since mama scolded me.... anw, Wonder how'll she react. Sure say u want to jump go jump lah! But leceh lah must go out of house to jump. Coz jump from my bedroom window 101% cannot die!
Back to stats. U noe wat. I stayed back in skool to do stats and in 1hr 45 minutes, i manage to do 5stats question. I go home and in 4 hours, i did none! haiz.... all the more i'll stay in skool than sit at home during the study break.
Still feeling jealous that my bros werent given the "treatment" tt my parents, esp my dad, gave me when i was young. Which made me soooo scared to do anything w/o my parents permission. Which made me respect my elders. Which results in me and my old fashioned values. Anws, i may hv gone overboard lah and mama shouted back...... and then she said sthg abt make sure during fasting month we all dont giv her problems or else...
....it was here when i muttered 'liddat fasting month i dun stay at home better lah" and she "exploded" here. Asking where i want to go and all that. tt Now tt my sister giving her problems i oso want to give her problems blah blah blah.... den she said abt go lah.... no need wait for fasting month oso can go....super irritated lah. Anyone got room to spare? Haha.... but till how long? dats why i say getting into a fite wif ur mama is THE MOST stooopidEST thing to do. Anw, i the way i behave and the things i say all DAMN similar to my mum lah. All inherited from her one. Still want to blame me.
anw, wun be dumb enuff to run away lah. Where to get pocket money all? Where to sleep? and like i said, for how long?
worst come to worst i'll hang in skool till late. but dennagain, if i dun go home early, my bros will use the opportunity to watch tv and slack. haiz.... i dun care! Now i go home early. After PSLE, i start going home late. alamak...but by then fasting month liao... cannot go home late... -annoyed!-
i was ALMOST ALMOST tempted to tell my mama that this kind of time is the right time for one to commit suicide....but i didnt.....was super dooper annoyed lah... coz its been a long long time since mama scolded me.... anw, Wonder how'll she react. Sure say u want to jump go jump lah! But leceh lah must go out of house to jump. Coz jump from my bedroom window 101% cannot die!
Back to stats. U noe wat. I stayed back in skool to do stats and in 1hr 45 minutes, i manage to do 5stats question. I go home and in 4 hours, i did none! haiz.... all the more i'll stay in skool than sit at home during the study break.
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