I AM SAM

I am Sam. Such a moving show. About a "special" dad and his daughter.... how both of them were forced to go separate ways even though they wanted to stay together .... and in the end, they got back together. Sooo moving.

Man... Sam is a guy. But he is different from other guys. He's not 100% MAN but nevertheless, there's a someone who likes him for who he is. To that someone, he's just special -- though different, vvvvvvvvvvvvvery special. This is called "love", or so i interpreted after watching the movie. Sam didnt quite bother about what others say about him. For his life was all about his values, his love for his friends and his love for his daughter. ... and of course, his daughter's love for him. As simple as that.

He had to go thru a rough period when both he and his daughter had to go seperate ways. After trying so many times to reunite wif his daughter and ending up in failure after failure, he simply gave up. He broke down and isolated himself in his room. ( i guess i noe why...) Dats when someone came in and "rescued" him from isolation -- telling him there's still a possibility of reaching his goal. She told him not to give up. And in the end, he wasnt a failure as he thought he was destined to be. Coz u see, he did manage to reunite with Lucy, his daughter. hmmm.... i guess no one's born a failure. No one's destined to fail. Just becoz u tried, and tried but u end up failing .... it simply doesnt spell the end. U've just got to continue and try even harder. And u will end up a winner. I guess victory does go to the one that doesnt give up.

Being different, "special"... wateva... isnt totally a bad thing i guess. People may say one thing, yet, u can always say another. What matters are ur values , ur love for ur frens, and ur love for ur loved ones. what matters most is that ure happy being who u are.

Overall, I am SAm is a great show. Oh btw, google told me tt "Two of us" was sang by John Lennon and Paul McCartney. But the "you and i have memories, longer than the road that stretches out ahead" part of the song sounds so girlish. Made me wonder if it's a guy or a girl's voice. Wateva it is.... a nice song too.

Can it be?

You're a very sensitive soul. You haven't grown that thick skin that most adults have. Easily hurt, you tend to retreat to your comfort zone.You don't let many people in - unless you've trusted them for a long time.
How Is Your Inner Child?

Alamak.... how can it be? I where got sensitive or sad? Do i not let many people in?? heh... maybe i don't. Whatever it is, quite cool lah... a sad inner child.

So far so boring... and it's only a day after exam's over. Maybe after this go library borrow book ... BFG.... haha... so primary school but hu cares! .. and tonight got I AM SAM.... the trailer caught my attention seh. The little girl's acting like so real. So heart wrenching. MUST WATCH!!!

Tonight, I am Sam. Tommorrow and monday, Harry potter 2. Wahlao, why must they split harry potter into 2 days??!!! Where got fun??!! haiz...

Hock told me about SIM and how they take in ppl who get lousy Alevel grades and how their fees are no longer private now. This clearly shows how much he sayang me.... HAHA... okok...maybe not. But management doesnt seem like my cup of tea. What could i possibly manage after graduation? Manage a wife and two kids? I dun need a degree for that. haha... but it's a door though... one of the many, i mean few, choices to chooose from.

Talked to nizar as if he was my little brother ytd. hahaa.... coz he's the youngest in his family and talking to him could be like me talking to my little brothers when they're 18 and that will be like.... omg! I asked him why little brothers hate their big brothers using the com till late at night(or early in the morning) ... or why little brothers cant stand it when their elder brother is at home? Hahah... and i sort of gained sthg frm the short chat. Heh. In conclusion, little brothers simply do not noe how much their elder brothers sayang them. -shakeshead-

anws, hope i'm not e only one feeling BORED n RESTLESS rite now. hope millions of kids out there are feeling e same LOUSY feeling as me! Muahahaha!Take care!

Finally.... IT'S OVER!!!

hhahah.... my apologies to those who still got papers left. Whahahaa! Continue to work hard and jiayou!! heh...

anws, the moment the clock read 3.30, i was smiling. haha... though the thought of the cert tt they need not bother to print still lingered at the back of my head, i was super dooper happy tt it's all over!

Played soccer after chem. Ok lah... scored a couple of dumb goals(the goal post was big lah) but running here and there vvery tiring. Which reminds me.... i got lots of physical training to do man.... should start running and pull ups and the likes lah! swimming... erms.... hahah..... wait long long lah... gonna start learning in camp. heh... maybe not?

Work. It seems as if i gotta find work to do during the 1 month break. But i never did worked b4 and it feels funny lah going out into the "real world" looking for work-- me being the "home sweet home" kindof guy. haha! ....i guess this is what they call stepping out of ur comfort zone and gain some valuable "experience".

Anyone needs a brother? A person to talk to? Someone to "kick the moss off the roof"? Hahaha.... i dun charge a lot one. lol.... lame seh... i really really dun feel like stepping outof my comfort zone just yet but, i noe i got to coz come NS, i'll be way out of my comfort zone. Oh btw, my sis is out looking for work rite now -- and next week still got paper lah!! But science paper 1 so... ok lah. See the diff b/w me and my sis? I am reluctant to be outside home whereas she cant wait to get out!!! haha...

dunnoe lah... the time will come one. Sooner or later the vision of my future will come to me via dreams??? hahaha... maybe... so till then, i shall learn how to cook, repair the faulty toilet bowl, paint the gate, help my grandma with the "garden" outside ...... and blog!! hhaaha.... we'll see what i'll blog about in the days to come.

Something is definitely wrong if i feel like i'm blogging the same entry every single day. So till then....(till when?..haha!).... bye bye!!

Great day...great game.... Sadness over?

Wednesday, September 21

Great day... great game... break's over

Physics was doable though my kind of doable is very different from ur kind of doable. If i really read and write for the full 2.5hrs paper means its doable. Though it was really a waste i didnt do much ytd.

Hanged with different group of real people. And i learned a new word... "Yoshi".. haha...i tot it was some character from Ninja Turtle lah! Only to find out later its some jap fast food outlet. Haiz.... ytd was bad... once i reached home, i didnt do ANY physics... slept at 11 and woke up at 6. Set my alarm at 3 but woke up only to shut that thing up. Yea, i learned that i'm not the night kind of guy.

Anw today was a good day. Played soccer after physics.... Made myself look like a fool chasing after the ball... not passing correctly... shooting way off target....shouting at my teammates..... but i was so high that i didnt care. Too stressed ... Kim...can see he a bit(maybe alot) pissed off with me coz i kept taking my time to pass the ball. Haaha... i really think i did great! Scored 3-- one is thru HEADER!!! haha...power... can score more but even though i'm high....

....

...some more play lots of games never cramp....! =)

Yup, tis was e day i stopped feeling sorry for myself and moved on. Being ard ppl and being DAMN happy tt day, it made me realise tt there's more to life even if u fail ur exams. Which means to say, sitting at home blogging wun really be as effective as being ard others. Haha... after chem, no one playing soccer ar????

Ytd, my bros made yet another daring move. HAHA!! They went to ask our mama if they could go cinema watch movie today. haha... little did they noe their bro rejected going to e movie earlier in e day. So mama was like "no!". Den they ask and ask and ask and when mama finally said "yes" they sulked. Hahah... coz mama said her "yes" like this....

"OK. FINE! GO! NEXT TIME U COME HOME FROM SCHOOL, U CAN GO ANYWHERE U WANT. NO NEED TO ASK FOR MY PERMISSION. DUN ASK FOR PERMISSION ANYMORE!!"

Hhaha.... the above was "girl language"... i'll translate it for u guys. It means "no". ...and mama also said tt they've become like my sister in a way. Like dunnoe how precious money is and all. Made me smile abit, heh. Made me realise tat there's only one like me. lOL!! Mama also said "U pay $7 times 2 to watch sthg for 3 hours den after that u gained nthg from it. Waste money rite?" hahahaha... heard that sort of things so many times in my childhoood that the importance of money was sort of impressed upon me. so there's no such thing as "$7 was worth it coz the movie was great". Haha..

Anws, lived thru the down side i think i would live thru after ytd's badly done paper. Which means to say tt i've woken up and gonna live life as per normal. Erm... maybe not my "normal".. haha... till after chem... bye!

Finally... its almost over....

Never have i spoken to her in such a depressing tone. As usual, my mama was waiting and asked her "how?" question -- this time can feel the "i want to hear that it's not hard" tone. I didnt want to say it was hard so I told her it "wasnt easy". And i also told her "my alevel cert can throw away". Being the mama i knew for 18 years now, she didnt say much. Like "how come?" or "U study also cannot pass ar?" or "2 years waste my money just like dat".

Life simply went on as per normal. I ate a fruit and commented that it tastes so bad and mama said that it's becoz they plucked the fruit before it ripens and blah blah blah. No rementioning of my poorly done alevels. But i have to admit -- there is the "gloomy atmosphere" in my house -- the silent incessant screams of "HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!"

Walking home from school... people sound so happy that the As are over. (technically, there's STILL paper one... and the bio....and the computing... and the what not lah..). But ya, u noe wat i mean. Ppl going to watch movie and wat not... (at tis point, i'd like to say tt going to the movies haven been a characteristic of my life yet... haha... tts why i STILL refuse to go)

maybe partly coz i got no mood for anything now. I didnt even had the mood to go home. Felt like sitting under a big tree and simply see time fly. But too bad... i'm already home.

Nothing much i can do now huh? All i know is i wun be taking the conventional route to life like u guys would. The feeling of despair, depression, hopelessness and hunger lumped all in one. yes... i'm hungry. though depressed, still must eat rite?

btw, the way i write this entry is like the way i wrote entries after prelims. i tink i'll live through the post-prelims days by reading past entries and simply start tonight from the day i start feeling alright again. HAHA.... i duwan to waste my time living thru girly girly moments all over again. no insults to girls though.

hmm... "I'm all about them words Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words." maybe, even after i fail, i wun be out of words.

well, i shall not sit around blogging anymore. gonna see if food is cooked or not. After that it's chem till friday. After friday, i think i'd start outlining the routes i would be taking after As. bbyes!!!!!! =)

It's okay to feel bad for a while. Just make sure u dun feel bad abt urself for too long. An entry long will do. After that, simply pick urself up and emerge a slightly stronger person.

Hot day today huh?

you and i- Jason Mraz
Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me?
Oh, things are gonna happen naturally
Oh, taking your advice and I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing

Oh, but at often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright light turns to night
Oh, until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me

'Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
Others only read of the love or the love that I love

See, I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive

'Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
And if you could see me now,

Oh, love, love, you and I, you and I
Not so little you and I anymore,
And with this silence brings a moral story
more importantly evolving is the glory of a boy

'Cause you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well then I'm almost finally out of
Finally ou-ou-out of
Finally din-di-di-dit-dit-dee
Well, I'm almost finally finally, well I am free, oh, I'm free

And it's okay if you had to go away
Oh, just remember the telephones, well they work in both ways
But if I never, ever hear them ring
If nothing else I'll think the bells inside
have finally found you someone else and that's okay
'cause I'll remember everything you sang

'Cause you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well then I'm already finally out of
Finally ou-ou-out of
Finally did-di-di-dit-dit-dee
Well, I'm almost finally finally, well, out of words.

Well, i'm sort of waiting for the days i'm out of words. Coz my hands seem to have to problem typing and typing and typing and typing. Maybe results ought to shut me up. Tauhid's advice of burning my computer is a wee bit too violent -- and unnescessary.

the Dare

...tauhid dared me not to blog today. ANd when he said that, i told myself that it's not that difficult not to blog for a day. But while walking home, i wondered what's the point? What's the point of not doing what u like to do for the sake of others?

SO here i am... blogging. A dreamer.... or so i was called. Maybe that's the word which best describes me...... CAn accomplish nothing more than coming up with big dreams for himself.

oh...nthg much to comment abt chem2 today. When mama asked this morning wat paper i'm having today and i said chem, she asked, "So how?" Me and my dumb smile while shaking my head said, "I dunnoe."

am not quite in the mood to talk seh. physics 3 and chem 1... get it over and done wif and den see if there's still a good reason as to why i should still be around.... HAHA!!! KIDDIN ONLY....

anws, duwan ppl to think tt i'm sad and all. coz i'm not. bye!! And hi jeremy! (he was told abt the blog tt's always updated tis morning so chances are, he might drop by)

Need i say more...?

Man..... mama asked me who is more afraid -- me or her? Man... i duwan both of us to be afraid lah. But dunnoe if tts possible. Well mama gave me her good luck hug once again -- maybe she really didnt want to hear me say tt the paper's hard again. But all the hug did was calm me down both b4 and after the paper. and i told her the paper's hard. wahlao... the a levels aint simply abt me. if i dun do well, mama will hv to worry abt where i would go to next and how much it'll cost and so on. dang! We'll see come next year.....till then, there's still chem1and 2 and physics 3 to strive for.

...zzzzzz....

the most MAJOR lesson learnt so far. Cough syrup really makes u drowsy.

Well i tink i drank too much cold water that when i woke up the nxt day, my throat feeling a bit funny. I saw the "May cause drowsiness, caution if driving. Warning -avoid alcoholic drinks" on the label on the cough syrup. Alcholic drinks are out. BUt the drowsiness bit, never have i ever ever drank cough syrup and feeling drowsy after that. So, thinking they were bluffing, wth...

Den when doing physics, i was closing my eyes trying to memorise formulaes and all that that i almost fell asleep lah! wah... den i tot it was once-off thing but after a while, i really cannot take it so i slept for 2 hours. Den at night also the same thing. Though i slept for 2 hours, i still felt like sleepiing lah! But did a fair bit of stuffs b4 sleeping.

In conclusion, i would suggest the pharmacy to review their caution bit. Change it to like, ...

"May cause drowsiness...REALLY! Caution if driving or worse still, when revising for BIG exams. Warning - avoid alcoholic drinks and when revising for BIG exams, avoid this cough syrup.U wun die coughing, but u WILL die if u end up failing. HAHA!!"

I think the "HAHA!" shouldnt be there coz that sounds so unprofessional. anws, I guess too many words on a cough syrup is uneconomical huh? hahaa... wells, a couple of hours to Physics... the feeling isnt the same as b4 GP paper. -dead-

Till then....

frequency ... and some stuffs u WUN be interested in..

my apologies to those who came ytd and surprisingly found no new entries. My hands are tied. Haha...

just finished watching Frequency. I watched the movie wif my bros and we talked as if they never had a thing against me. Coz u see... i'm always like kissing them on the cheek whenever i get the chance to or like simply... bug them. But just now, it was like nthg.... maybe coz i decided not to fool ard.heh.

I watched Frequency when i was in sec 2(my chem teacher showed in on tv in class after exams). Found it THE SWEETEST show then. Somehow, it left a deep impression on me. skali some 4 years later, the show pops up as a "tv premier" on channel 5 tt i decided to watch it again. I told my bros a couple of days ago tt they must watch it coz it's nice. Haha... and they did watch it... and they didnt fall asleep. It was nice to hear them say the show was nice. I felt like crying when watching the movie but the thing is, dumb advertisements kept killing the moment! dang.... i guess that's why ppl go to cinema huh?

Hha.... some ppl dun go to cinema. Some ppl is actually preety glad tt the movie event of the year is showing after A levels!! I'm tokin abt harry potter 2!! haha...

anws, a lil bit abt frequency. Hard to describe the movie here. But a guy named John happened to chance upon his dad's old radio -- those kind which has a microphone and a speaker... like a phone liddat. Then tt night, he heard a call from another end of the radio and talked to tt fella for a while. Then while conversing .... there comes the part when one said he's in the future ... and blah blah blah... ended up John found out he was talking to his dad. But the thing is, John's dad would die the next day in some burning building. John's dad's a fireman. So john told him he's gonna die tmr and told him sthg he should avoid in the building in order to stay alive. Long story short, his dad survived.

This sort of changed the past and theres a series of event that took place. Among which was tt John's mother was killed in a murder which will take place some weeks after his dad survived. You see, John is a cop dealing wif homicide. And they discovered a dead body which was linked to the still unsolved serial murder case 30 years ago.So John and his dad worked together to prevent the crime...to catch the murderer... blah blah blah. Long story short, they caught the murderer... and John's dad AND mama lived up till 1999....

Brought tears to my eyes. So happy tt John was reunited with his dad and mum. Haha! But tears doest mean cry coz the tears remained in my eyes! hahaha... yea...

Anws, tis sort of expl the entry i wrote to me a couple of days ago. haha... who noes, ali would reply. Hmm.... if i was the ali 10 years later, here's what i'll tell ali now.

"Hey ali, i got ur message! I wonder how it was ever possible. U seem to be going thru a very tough period huh? relax ... my advice is to not waste so much time watching tv or thinking about u noe hu. well, those were the days...

about whether or not ure a somebody, dun worry ali, u ARE a somebody. u may not see it then but when i look back 10 years ago, i realised that there are so many people around me who cares abt me. They care abt u. Being a somebody need not nescessarily mean u hv to be clever and get good grades u noe. I noe wat ure going thru right now. So just persevere and u'll see how it goes.

about me being married and having 2 kids and the degree, haha... i'll wait here for u for 10 years and i'll personally tell u if i'm married and having 2 kids and the degree. HAHA!! see... i'm lame. UR fault lah! hhaah...

anws ali, i got this one request for u. if there's someone out there that u like, u better do sthg abt it... haha.. dun wait too long. Or dun simply choose to leave it as food for thought. Otherwise, 10 years later, u WILL be regretting wat u did not do and live the rest of ur life thinking and thinking about her and waiting for ur very (x13) special someone. btw, i'm still waiting. Ali, my request is... just go for it! haha...

anws, i gtg, help my mama wif the laundry -- as always.Things never change. Take care yea? all e best for u As! lemme tell u this. IF u dun succeed, dun stop. Life's not over! tc dude. cya!"

actually,i think that the ali 10 years later is CRAZY telling me to do sthg he was SCARED to do! he tot it was foolish and childish and waste of time. And the funny thing is, i feel exactly the same way now! so.... hahahahah.... let's get on with the As shall we and leave fantasy out of the picture for the time being.

got the chance to talk to mama again just now. Haha... watching her cooking curry ... so we talked abit. blah blah blah and we talked abt skool .... den getting my sis married if anyone asks for her hand... lol! so old fashioned sia. Anws, then tok abt how she met my dad and blah blah....

Then,she said, "dun get married to late."
i asked her, "when den to get married?"
She said, "who? when should u get married?"
I said, "no lah! when do MOST ppl get married?"
She said," 26,27 is perfect. Dun wait till 30."
And i went, " hahaha.... ok...but 26,27 still skooling wat! no work how to get married."

Den she said "that's why..." And that sort of concludes our chat on marriage. Basket.... i tink she could hv picked up sthg. But i'm assuring u guys, it was nthg. Haha... would a girl marry someone with a degree but doesnt hav a job or someone with a decent job? But is it possible to get a decent job if one doesnt have a degree? Oh man.... i sure wish i could be someone in the army(or air force). haha... And i better start saving and finding ways to double and triple and quadruple and (n)(n+1)-ple my bank account seh. all i noe is no one wants to get married to a guy who doesnt hv money.

haha.... earlier ytd was tokin abt what i look out for in my wife, not wif my mama of coz... but ya.. And i didnt sort of list for that person what i was looking for. HAHA! list.... yups... wait one day, i'll go list for u guys. LOL!!! no lah .... i'm not that choosy ok? i'm playing hard to get. Lol....i'm simply taking my time and hoping tt tt very (x13) special someone would come knocking on my door instead of me knocking on her door. hahahahaha! lousy me rite? but i dun care. Hehe.

kk... enuff for one nite... wait ppl avoid reading this just becoz it's a long one. haha ...Soooo gdnites!

nightmare

haha.... but shant write here... told one person enuff....

oh... ya... the dream b4 the nightmare(lol!!!) , i learnt a lesson. The moral of the dream is to rush to NTUC later today to buy milk. Haha... somehow, tt scene in my dream told me tt i need calcium. weird. But besides tt, all the other dreams were forgettable ones.

i hv an idea of an invention. To create a storage device to store ur dreams. Cool huh? If only it was possible. Nothing is impossible lah. U just hv to wait patiently and one of these days, sure got ppl invent one.

hmm..for once, i dunnoe wat to write after just 10-12 lines. Must be the "just woke up" syndrome. Wells, someone studied while i was asleep ... so shant sleep anymore. bbye!! (oh guys, the "someone" used in the previous line isnt used the same way as e one to describe THAT "someone". it is e std english dictionary "someone".)

...GP...

It was like blogging for 3 hours -- except that its slightly more tiring and u're under the pressure of having to write fast. But my thoughts seem to flow through well. Lucky me. When i blog, my mind is always thinking about what to write after this line. And since people always tell me not to blog as it is time-consuming, i still blog --only quicker. This seems to translate into Gp when i saw the question i want to do -- "Hosting major sporting events creates more problems than benefits.Do you agree?"

I could brainstorm four silly points and elaborate and come up with dumb examples -- all this in 15 minutes of planning. Btw, before today, i never planned fully for any other essays that i've done. Then after the planning, it was down to writing intro and content and evaluations of the things i talked about. Trying hard to go in depth but i think i failed to do that. Coz never before today hv i even thot that i have written any essays with depth. My essays were all superficial. But amazingly, i wrote 4 pages. Never have i wrote a 4 page entry lah!... i mean essay. But rongzhu eventually pointed out that the line spacing was large.(did u guys notice that?) Haha... well, nevertheless, i felt that i "blogged" alot. Hope the marker dun get turned off by long entries like some of u guys who may find my entries berjela-jela (Malay for very very long). Whahahaa... joking. Was happy after essay.

Paper 2 was manageable also. 5 minutes before the end, i was scared i didnt have enough lines for AQ. Could only squeeze in 3 lines of conclusion. THere's only one passage -- hence, the ease. The questions were ok. GOt one part they talked about controversial sentences and explain the language used to maintain open mindedness and so on. Haha... it reminded me of the 2 controversial entries i wrote the other day and the kind of language and words i used so as to make it SEEM as though i was being open minded. Lol. Gave crappy explainations for them. WHen reading questions and text, answers were forming in my head. It's like when i blog, i never seem to be able to stop thinking of what to write -- thus the long entries.

Here's a walkthrough of how i did the paper 2-- in case some small kids typed
"success+tips+ paper 2+gp +completing the paper in time". I read the AQ question for an idea of what the passage is about. Saw tt there's only one author's name. Flipped open the insert and there's only one passage! cool. I wrote what the AQ requires me to do on the question paper. I wrote "AQ :benefits .... war inevitable... writer's reason... If war is avoided, will the gain outweigh the loss?"

Then i read the summary and marked out line 1 - 51 using Alista's method of using # . haha. I saw her did that and thought it was cool. Then i wrote on the margin the points i need to find for summary. "SUMMARY: reasons war inevitable... benefits..."

Went to the short questions and for questions which has citations in it, i highlighted the quotes in the passage and wrote in brief the question requirement on the insert. Like for question 1, i highlighted the quote, and wrote "Qn1 : reasons why war inevitable.." . I did it for all the questions.

It took me 5 minutes to read all the questions, highlight all the quotes and vocab words and rewrite all the questions in brief on the insert. Fast huh? I never did this before today but time practices in school and at home made me discover this quicker way. By this time, i already sort of have an impression of the whole passage without having to "unpack" the text lah! To think that my GP teacher used to spend so many periods just to "unpack" the text.

I used the next 30 minutes to do questions straight away while reading the passage first time. Like when i first read the first para, i saw Qn 1 on it. So while reading, answers formed in my head and i simply wrote down. Answers seemed to fall like the heavy rain yesterday. In the past, i used to crack my head for the "perfect answer" but i always end up failing to complete the paper or having to rush towards the end. So now, i simply wrote whatever that "pops up" in my head. haha... like blogging lah... (But as u can see, i blog rubbish, so guess how i answered my questions?) While reading on, i wrote the meanings of the vocab i highlighted so there's no flipping back and forth and having to look for words.

Exactly 30 minutes later, i finished the short qns and vocab. Never before hav i accomplished such a feat. 1030 - 1055 was for summary, i told myself. So i planned out my summary on the rough paper. Split the paper into 2, one for why war is inevitable and benefits of war. As soon as i got 10 points, i immediately wrote my summary. No rough summary in pencil and counting the number of words before transferring it into the booklet. In the past, i always did that and it took too much time. TOday, on THE day, i decided to do sthg i never did try before and i really hope it's a risk worth taking. Finished summary a couple of minutes earlier. Kind of had a couple more points but decided not to worry bout them coz one, i've got no time and two, i ran out of words(i didnt do draft remember?).

AQ was fun. I actually planned for it. The last remedial lesson, my gp teacher told me tt AQ also must plan. Plan wat to write ... the thesis... make sure all requirements are met. Ur Ev and EX and have as many text reference as possible. I did exactly all that and knew exactly how my AQ will develop after 10 minutes of rough working. So the next 25 minutes or so was writing AQ... managed to squeeze in examples even! Haha.. i never squeezed in examples to support my arguments before lah! Not once! And i never wrote a long entry for AQ so having a lack of lines kind of shocked me. Nevertheless, i decided to shorten my speech -- leaving 3 lines for conclusion.

My conclusion was stoooopid! I was bored. So i wrote sthg like, "In conclusion, i find the reasons which Woolgar raised was largely convincing. We no longer need more wars to lead to the birth of sporting events like 'Olympics' and the world cups -- we already have more than enough of it."

Rather stupid way to end but, i just wanted to put across the idea that war will play a reduced role in future. Haha... after that... got a few more minutes... i relax lah.. Wrist so pain.

Was preety happy about GP. But the thing is, i never got anything higher than a C6 in this 2 years. I never got anything higher than 30 for essays. And i never got more than 4 marks for summary and more than 4 marks for AQ. Having done so many things for the first time today, i expect nothing more than my usual grades. Which was why i brought nothing but my pencil case today and a couple of notes(which i threw away b4 paper starts).

See how thought flows freely in my entry today? lol... i must say that blogging kind of helped me today. Ive been blogging for like almost a year now and writing seems like so much fun than ever before. It's more fun knowing that people actually read what i write. Though not word by word (like duh.... i wun do that if i read normal ppl's blog..) , knowing that ppl actually come to my blog with the intention of reading makes writing fun. Voyeuristic nature of humans? Maybe.... but i think such claims are rubbish.

Well, i guess enuff of lengthening my entry. Hope u guys found gp okay. Coz if ALI can say it's ok and that he thinks he can get C6, i tink ur As are guranteed plus chop. ali...... haha... All e best for next week. Physics and chem. Die.

oops

did preety badly for maths 2. sad sia. no hope. doing all i can to lessen the disappointment come results day later. another lesson learnt. If u noe ur alarm clock is faulty, get a new one! There's also another lesson learnt but it's confidential..

got home and for e first time since As started, i told my mama e paper's hard. and she said "got hope?". i said... "slim... 50-50". I really did badly. and she said "see lah, now must repeat one more year". And i told her, jc cannot repeat.. "dunnoe lah... go poly i tink". Den she said... "see lah... waste a few more years". den i say, dunoelah... work at DHL need degree or not? wat future seh!

hmmm..... maybe... my ability to "amazingly do well" for crucial exams ended during promos. It failed to occur for prelims -- i never did any worse than i did for my prelims. And now, ...

overseas uni cost a bomb. maybe shall learn how to make a bomb... den can afford overseas study.

maybe, mama's fault lah. She gave me a hug before i left home for school for the first paper and wished me good luck. Then maths one was ok. the next 2 days she never hug, .... tts why become like tis. maybe...

...hoping...for the best...

ali, i wonder, if ure reading this 10 years from now, would u have made ur first million? would u hold a degree? a degree in wat? would u be happily married with 2 kids? a family to come home to?.....

... or would u be there, blogging.... wondering wat the Ali 10 years from then would be doing... would u be saying to ur girlfren(IF u hv one) ..."I don’t have much money but boy if I did, I’d buy a big house where we both could live" ... would the only thing u can afford to do be only to tell her "she got the sweetest eyes" or write songs .... or simply hope she "don't mind" ... would u simply kp telling others "I know it’s not much but it’s the best I can do" ...

..worse still, dun tell me ure sitting on the roof and kicking off the moss .... i'd like to think it's the roof of ur own house tt ure cleaning, but it's highly unlikely ..... or dun tell me ure still there, unable to distinguish green from blue... in other words, no different from wat u are right now... lousy..

...oh btw ali, at the moment, I dun tink there'll be Ali 10 years from now. I really hope u'd reply soon and say tt ure a somebody... not a nobody... tell me that my guesses were wrong... i need to hear it man.. tell me if i would be cleaning other people's roofs , then at least i shouldnt try trying ... when i noe i'd most likely end up feeling lousy tries after tries... hope to hear from u, ali... i've watched "frequency"... we've watched "frequency"... such weird things could happen...

-ali-

(btw, Frequency is a movie premiering on channel 5 tis saturday at 10. sweet show)

It's a little bit funny...

was doing maths... den i was talking to myself... and somehow, i was telling my sthg like "it's a lil bit funny...tis feeling inside..."

... then i was like eh... like a song.. den i try to recall... and got a small part of it... googled it on the net... and confirmed tt it's the song by elton john "Your song" (it should be playing in the background). Looked at the lyrics... and haha! Freakin wierd man the lyrics. way way way WAY cool! got one line coincidentally similar to reality ....... haha, i like. well jc life's ending soon anw, so ya... gonna enjoy tis "feeling inside" while it last.

wells, maths... a bit harder tis time round. but from the 2 days experience, just do as much as u can coz it'll literally be ur last chance to do that.... and hope for the best.

Your song - elton john
It’s a little bit funny this feeling inside
I’m not one of those who can easily hide
I don’t have much money but boy if I did
I’d buy a big house where we both could live

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a traveling show
I know it’s not much but it’s the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one’s for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it’s done
I hope you don’t mind
I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you’re in the world

I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they’ve got me quite cross
But the sun’s been quite kind while I wrote this song
It’s for people like you that keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen

PS: Make a wild guess of the coincidentally similar to reality line. TAG!!
(Winners get free 1-year membership to my blog..haha... do tag..)

haha... lousy me... blogging again

short one.

was i bloggin or was i doing chem 3? coz i think abit and write and write and think and write... and when i got the "writer's block", i think abit then skip. the answers to the questions were inside my head.. most of it lah.. at least i had a clue of wat to write. But knowing tt my content-knowledge on chemistry is like my knowledge on psychology, i guess i noe where i stand. Oh btw, i noe nthg abt psychology.

maths.... must focus after tis short recess.

food poisoning... mustve been tt stupid cake ytd... ate one slice and bleargh! if my mama charges 10 cents for every toilet entry, i would be broke lah!(ok... not tis bad) And even while i sleep, i was dreaming of me going to toilet lah! and during chem, i was like clutching my stomach lah... so pain...

and tauhid and nizar and hafiz wanted to go to mac to eat...... i duwan... my stomach like super uneasy. den they managed to dragged me as far as the busstop in front of skool. i was tinkin of a list of events tt could happen if i go to mac... which then made me made up my mind and decide to go home. i tink alot. scare myself wif possible scenarios tt made me decide sia. alamak guys, not i duwan... i wan... but cannot lah... okok... excuses excuses but ... u be the judge lah. haha... kk... bell ring oready. recess over. bye!

how?

throwing notes against my blue wall -- angry, frustrated.

qns and stuffs tt i read.... like everything's so new to me. It's not. It's some where inside my head but it simply refuses to come out.

for once, i really felt that my tomorrow is gone. why pass 2 when ure gonna fail one. but tokin to the right ppl ... maybe... just maybe i shouldnt just giv in to my frustrations... should just push on... for one night? After tt no more thermodynamics and all tt stuffs.

another lesson learnt. if u noe ur weakness right from the start, u shouldnt simply ignore it and wait for a miracle to happen. SO many lessons learnt ... wat for? where can i go after all this is over man...

doing all i can now. praying for the best possible outcome. pray for me.

short stuffs

i noe how it feels goin to a blog hoping for an update only to find out there isnt. Haha...

maths was ok. it was fun. but ... dunnoe leh... i never do much revision so wat i say dun matter tt much.

chem tmr... goin to continue with it in a while.

here's wat i really wanna share today... LOL...

...feeling... i almost forgot what it feels like to be feeling the feeling that i'm feeling right now...... it's the impossible to describe kindof feeling.. ya... weird.... amazingly weird.... *smiles*

i cannot NOT blog

see wat i mean when i said i cannot nOT blog. haha... i did plug out the keyboard for 2 hours i think. And did serious work. But i needed the computer coz of the questions i need to ask. got stuck here and there so i needed help.

the table which i shifted into my room made a whole lot of difference to my revision. Coz there i was... facing nthg but my blue wall so there wasnt anything to distract me. Descipline is one thing but not having the need to impose self-descipline on urself is the better alternative. Wasnt as distracted by the com as i was almost every other time wen studying at my usual study table. too late?
i see it more as a lesson learnt.

sticking post-its on the blue wall tt i face when studying at the table behind me right now. another lesson learnt. doing papers and tys and clarifying is a great process -- it'll be a greater process if i'd done it earlier. the time factor is my main problem. it's always the "last minute syndrome". Anyone has any idea wif regards to overcoming this problem?

and finally, Prject runway has its share of life lessons. Dunnoe wat tt guy said but it's sthg like -- It doesnt matter if it's good or bad. What matters is u like doing what ure doing. I dun think i got it correct but ya, be happy with wat ure doin. Then wat others say abt it doesnt really matter tt much.

Am rather tired. But i need to push on. Am blogging to sort of take my mind of maths. no one on msn seh. everyone must hv slept.

my maths paper 1 is more or less settled. im worried about chem 3. It's in the morning-- so theoretically, i have like from 5pm to 8am later today to recap and recall? am so doomed lah. Then after tomorrow's chem will have like quite sometime for maths2... but i'm afraid i would be too tired by then to do much. Friday's GP. im feeling ok for paper 2 but cant say the same abt essay. 3 points one counter.... i never seem to be capable of tinkin of examples. Another lesson learnt. Weaknesses like this shouldve been overcome earlier on.

well...abt 15 minutes passed. It's like half past one now. A lil bit more b4 i sleep. healthy stress lah. if onli it'd come a lil sooner.nites.

-trying hard not to think abt wat'll happen after my exams-

Final entry

...for now only...

hv decided to put wat adib said to the test -- to "throw" my keyboard away. But alamak... maybe not possible leh... coz msn messenger is like my handphone. If i need help or wat... then must plug my keyboard back in.

so maybe... maybe... not my final entry for now. but if u dun see action here or on msn for the next 2 weeks... it means that ive really "thrown" my keyboard as well as my "handphone" away. bye.

-A thought just popped up-

Dun I think it's a little too late?

sunday on a monday

i dun like the way im bloggin rite now. the thursday on fridae. saturday on sunday. sunday on monday. like if i want to blog again later this morning, or later tonite... then i'll have 2 entries in a day. i duwan to be seen as someone who has nthg else better to do than to blog.

anws, ive been thinkin lesser and lesser nowadays. like im no longer thinkin of wat to blog when i hv spare time or when i'm in the shower... no more pop-ups in my head. its as though ive installed a popup blocker somewhere up there. so i dun exactly feel the urge to blog...

wells, maths paper tomorrow. -writer's block-

man u won! ok... happy.. -writer's block-

ive shifted a table from outside into my room. And my youngest bro asked me "Dun u tink it's a little too late?" Hha... in english somemore... and i was like "No its never too late." Then he said, "i never said its too late. I just said 'a little too late'... a little too late." And i was like... hmm... not bad... i didnt noe my bro very the intellectual.

anws, the table is set against the wall tt is facing the com. so tt i can do my werk w/o havin to face the com. easier to focus. well... it IS a little too late...

-writer's block-

all e best once again to those taking the As and the Os. nites.