Rediscovery..

I took another step and ventured into the "real world" on Sunday. ST Skool of rock competition at J8. Before i went there, talked to Kim over the MSn.We spoke for quite a long time. Talked about me and me not daring to venture into the real world and how he finds the 'values' i hold not helping my cause. And he really thinks that i need a hp to stay in contact with my frens. Feels like a loser w/o a handphone. So is how it seems others think. But personally, just feels like a sacrifice i have to make.

And kim told me how hanging out with frens is impt coz if not, "u'll be forgotten" sooner or later. ANd i never thot this was the case. As in if i see u as my fren now, u ll always be my fren..... but does this 'value' of mine deviates from others? Waah... if liddat...i must admit that i never actually did any kind of activities with frens which qualifies under the catagory "hanging out"...

anw....if my future turns out bad...must be my mama's fault.... lol..

ANw, some months back, I saw and stepped into Heeren for the first time in my life and that was like the biggest mall i ever stepped into. Lol... ya so on sunday, J8 was a lot bigger than i thot it was. Didnt really ever went inside J8. Normally it was like walking on the first floor during flag days...you know, the corridor tt leads to the interchange. And i wondered why J8 like not totally air conditioned.. ..... like -_-" . So when i went to the skool of rock competition... tt was when i realised the mall was rather big lah. But too bad got no time to sight see. Maybe soon?... haha.... if i decide to "hang out" that is... The day i "hang out" will be the day u guys should go buy 4D..sure win 1st prize one.... haha

Tired...tired....tired... and now Hock's kind of tired of hearing me saying i'm tired. So much to do... but like impossible to do. Eugene sort of say that it must be i write the things i need to do down and not actually finishing it. He say this kind of feeling very demoralising and i sort of feel he's quite true. I told him, maybe upon reaching home, i should burn my silver notebook to ashes. Forget abt the things i need to do but haven do yet... and just start anew.

And Eugene said another smart thing--that what i thought of doing was just an act of desperation. I myself feel that that's an act of escapism. Me wanting to run away from my problems instead of facing the issues i that i have and learn how to deal with it. Hmph! Never will i run away from my problems. Never will i burn my notebook...haha....a bit special one.... aside from the fact that it was actually my brother's and i took it thinking i THOT i asked for his permission and he said yes... =)

Felt like running. Away from everything.Jump off a flat and stuffs like that. Sometimes i do wonder what i am actually doing. Past entries... are they merely entries....stories that i write when i m bored? Or do they contain what i really felt i could accomplish then.... Sometimes i feel motivated and spirited.... but will only find myself fall face flat on the ground some time later...like now... partial fractions...polar...non polar....giant molecular.... they more i hang out with frens to study, the more i find myself drowning. I know i could see it in a more optimistic fashion.... like say at least i know what i do not know..... But i dun find myself doing that nowadays..... used to be the case before the hols lah. Always so confident and determined. But...

now...... while listening to Keane's Cant stop now..... i realise that i can't stop now....i've got troubles of my own... cause i'm short of time... and i can't slow down...for anyone in town...and i can't stop now....

....for no one...

Anw.... on a lighter note.... will take another step to rediscovery...this time i'll be venturing to PS for my flag day this Sat...finally my Cip can reach 60hrs.... learnt from Kim tt i must alight at Dhoby Gaught(How do i spell this mrt station?)... hmm....the rest of my journey will be a discovery....

First time i blog abt things and all but i still feel the same-- miserable....

sthg that i got to learn to get used to i guess....