dumbstrucked

Dun actually noe wat to do or say or write or blog actually.

Cheer up? But i cant find any reason to do so. Everything's been a mess. From GP to today's physics. Slept for 2+ hrs ytd trying to do as much physics as possible. It wasnt blind reading though. Just tt one night isnt enuff-- tis i'll keep in mind.

I could go on still but since its almost 1.30 i decided to sleep coz i plan to wake up at 4 to watch Man U's match and continue with physics. Oh, i DID wake up at 4 knowing i needed time to clear up physics. Watched Rooney get sent off and the free kick tt nearly ended in goal.... den did physics till 7 when i wenta skool. Cant say tt everything had gone to waste or tt despite my efforts, i'll still fail. It's more of a "u shuld hv done it earlier and on a regular basis" sort of feeling for me. Which is a weird feeling to say the least. This is the thing tt left me in a daze. Now I dunnoe wat to do frm here on out.

I noe i want to sleep now but a part of me wants to do chemistry. I'm like thinking thinking thinking abt how doomed life will be in 54 days time. yes i noe my entries been sounding depressing lately but tts how ive been feeling lately. Everyone seems to be capable of getting As for the As but not me. Like dunnoe who said yesterday, "U study oso sure fail". Quite true but i'm not the kind who's happy with tt kind of remark hanging over my head. Those kind of remarks were meant to wake me up and all but as such remarks and jokes accumulate, the gap between me and them seem to widen and tis makes it seem all the more impossible for me to catch up. -Psychological-

I think i'll do chem till my brains explode. Kim says "its not tt easy to go just like that" but i sure do feel like making it possible. Ive said it yesterday and i'll say it again today. Life's just hard and i really dun mind going away. Not thru suicide though. That's a no no. I am simply hoping tt the sand in my hourglass will run out soon. SOOOOON!!!! -frustrated-

No mood to talk abt breakfast at Long John at J8 with those 3. No mood to say thanks to Hafiz this time round. But hafiz, thanks. So today makes it $4. Yes we did laugh and all but i no longer knew wat i was really doing when i first checked my mcq answers. It made me look super dumb..... i'm still feeling it now...

I wanted to talk abt shooting stars and how nice Daphne's episode was. But no mood to talk abt it.

Wanted to talk abt how my bro missed today's skool,again, due to his on and off fever. BUt not in the mood to elaborate properly.

Tired. Simply dun noe what to do. I'll try get back on my feet latest by tonite and start work. Never have i recalled telling mama THREE DAYS STRAIGHT tt i cant do the paper. Actually when she asked me just now, i said oklah at first(maybe becoz i really wanted to gv her some hope tt i'm not in deep trouble)...and she was pleased lah.... but den i broke it to her, "no lah,still cannot".... and went straight to my room. Duwan to disappoint her but....

haiz...now tt the idea of death hav been introduced by tauhid and nizar.... i really am in the mood to go away. i really am in the mood to go away. i really am in the mood to go away. i really am in the mood to go away. i really am in the mood to go away. i really am in the mood to go away. i really am in the mood to go away. i really am in the mood to go away. i really am in the mood to go away.

I dont mind going.I really dont. Call it escapism. Call it whatever.... life's just hard and i really dun mind going.